Futurisic plans are underway for Dublin, this is how it should look in 2035.
So any way a few years back Old Knudsen was in dirty Dublin which since it had 14 hooses and a horse stable is the capitol of Éire and I was standing outside the Tithe an Oireachtais when who do you think would walk past but just the Taoiseach and the Tánaiste who are obviously from the Roinn an Taoisigh, I started to chant, "leader leader" but they just ignored me in a strange accent . So then I picked up a slapper selling cock rings and butt plugs a live a live oh, for a punt and half a euro bar she performed Fochoiste all over my chest and then I gave her a good Ard Rúnaí up the Áras an Uachtaráin.
Does anyone really understand the Irish? What is going on here and why? I didn't photoshop his penis it actually looks like that. The lad loves himself.
A close up view of the wab shows it to be poorly. I never get sick of the naked mole rat thing.
Since Old Knudsen is an Ulsterman a-mong other things he does like a bit of gheylick from time to time. Scots gheylick being the more superior dialect but Irish feels more dirty and forbidding.
Ok, Old Knudsen will confess all that gheylick lark is Greek to him and when he goes onto a bog trotters blog and they are talking Irish politics Old Knudsen is devastated. Its a tiny cuntry but its politics are 10 times more dreary than Canada's politics which are part French and dull.
A typical Fenian cunt.
I read the words of the mucksavage blogs and think so why don't ya pick a language? its like Spanglish the Diego rattles on in their dirty Latin then suddenly they have to use an English word because they don't have a Latin word for it for example the words soap, hygiene and education.
So Ireland has a President and a Prime minister, what about a Queen? hey show some respect Oscar Wilde is dead.
Oscar Wilde sure sums up blogging: "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth."
Why does Ireland need a President and Prime minister? The Uk is bigger and only has a Prime minister, the US is a little big bigger than the UK and only has President though I haven't seen the fella yet as his man servant slave keeps standing in the way.
If aliens attacked and the world united against them as was Crazy arsed Reagan's wet day dream would the President of Ireland (which is a woman) out rank Prime minister of Great Britain Gordon brown texture like sun? (which is a Scots man) I really don't think so, while the UK fires its nukes at the invaders the Irish will start lobbing spuds.
Then there are the political parties Fine Gael and Fianna Fail. Ok the first one is obviously a typo and typical Irish don't know better and repeat it, Fine Gale is what it must be to represent the good wind beneath the wings of the party.
Fianna Fail is a bit distressing as even an old injun/Fenian fighter like Old Knudsen knows Fianna means soldiers and as Ireland doesn't even have a modern day army the word fail because it shows you how unambitious they are and are quite happy with terrorists as a form of military with their 1970's haircuts and missing fingers from bomb practice.
No no no stand back do ya hear Old Knudsen knows, and you my poorly educated friend only thought you knew.
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
The Irish Post
Friday, 13 March 2009
All You Need To Know About London From Old Knudsen
The great balloon display of 1940, Americans never came over to see it.
Cor blimey gov here is all the information you will ever need if you want to visit old London towne . Old Knudsen Lived in East Finchley for a while which is in north London of course where he ran ye olde porne shoppe, always good for a butchers. Here is a shout out to all my peeps, well actually I don't have any peeps cos the southern English are cunts, no offense its just the way it is, all a part of God's plan.
Old Knudsen knew he was a superior being then but it was totally confirmed when he came to America.
London was originally named by King Lud as Kaerlud then it changed to Kaerludein and of course the Roman Londinium. The last is from the latin meaning 'City of terrible sound' as the Roman soldiers really hated the Cockney accent, can you Adam and Eve it? Yes I may slip into cockney rhyming slang without explaining what it means.
It has also been called Londonistan and is the only place you'll find chav Muslims.
Later you have King Canute on the throne who is famous for being a canute which is Danish for cnut later changed to 'cunt' then the Saxons (bloody Germans) and then in 1066 AD (After the Danes) Norman conquered England. Norman the conqueror was a French Viking type from Normandy of course.
His son William became the next king and started to build Westminster hall near the abbey. You'd think it would have a hall but no it didn't only a entry way and porch.
In 1290 Edward I that wanker from Braveheart if you will kicked all the Jews out of England. We Scots are are the lost tribe of Israel, we were the Levis who made quality garments, we made the 501 kilt so we share a bond with the hooked nose money lending Deity killers.
Not to get bogged doon in history there was the Black death or death of colour, the pitiful Spanish Armada, War of the roses civil war one and two as we take gardening seriously, Guy Fawkes and his V for vagina monologues , beheading the king and the great fire of 1666 . All a nice wee bit of fun.
Then there was orphans, soot and pickpockets, a couple of wars the Americans were late for, some Fenian cocksucker terrorist action and a Dalek invasion.
The north and the south of London has the families, the east has only males and the west has west end gurls.
Everyone eats jellied eels, fish and chips smothered in salt and vinegar or else they are sent to the tower of London which does not have any lifts or escalators.
London gentry, never look them in the eye or they'll kill you with their razor sharp hats or cutting remarks.
The Queen has always hung about with a rum lot.
The Queen lives in Buckfast palace where she sits with a high powered rifle and picks off paparazzi or slow moving pedestrians. Its her thing and she is the Queen.
"You spilled my pint" "I'm so sorry dear chap how about pistols at dawn? no in fact don't trouble yourself to get up so early I'll just shoot myself its the decent thing to do."
.
You never threaten to sue anybody in London you insist on being sued. For instance if someone knocks you doon in their car it is you who is at fault for being in the way of the motor vehicle. You must apologise a lot and try to clean up the mess of their car. Paying for a car wash or mechanic is the right thing to do and if the driver looks shaken you must offer to be sued for emotional trauma.
If you fail to comply with the rules of London society you will be ostracised by ostriches and sent to Coventry which is a God awful place.
Elephant and castle ......... stick it up yer asshole.
Here is typical London attire, you should dress like this or you'll be singled out as a tourist immediately and looked doon upon. If you are Irish put on an accent or you might get stabbed in the tube, toob or subway as the Americans call it.
You Septic Tanks pay attention cos if you don't listen to what is being said you'll look like a Berkeley Hunt. I was going doon the frog and toad for a pig's ear but I was Boracic lint
so I asked this fella in a Whistle and flute for a hobb. I knew him from way back as I shagged his Skin and blister she had really nice bristols but had a tendency to raspberry tart round the back alley so anyway all he did was Bubble bath and told me to fuck off so I went home and had a J. Arthur Rank.
If you find yerself in London beware of the London eye . It will find you and nom on you until all that is left is yer feet which are thrown into the river Thames and get washed up in Canada. The river Thames is named after old Thamie a monster who lives in it eating all the fish which is why you'll never catch any in it, init.
Visit Big Bong, Nelson's erection and the nations finest pub 'The Queen Vic' but watch out you don't step on any street urchins as they are poisonous, piss on the wound straight away.
England has a state religion, no freedom of speech which is why there are no British bloggers so watch what you say and if you insult the monarchy expect to have yer hands cut off as punishment.
It is also a socialist cuntry so if you have a bag of sweets (candy) expect to share. A thing many travelers to the UK notice is the dental hygiene so bring enough toothpaste as you can only buy it on the black market (market of colour) for 12 packs of ciggies and some nylons.
Latest OBB News Up-Dates
Sunday, 15 February 2009
Not Hungry Now
I was baited, nay goaded by Manuel that cunt who waits for things into doing this post. In 1981 scummy IRA terrorist Bobby Sands started a hunger strike in the Maze prison in an attempt to gain political status on March 1. On April 11 he wins the Fermanagh and South Tyrone by-election. He did fuck all for those people which shows you how stupid they were electing a terrorist, just like Hamas you idiot Palestinians.
All prisoners are now allowed to wear their own clothes and get fed nearly every day.
There is a film called 'Hunger' about him. I was approached to do the film and having no bias or bitterness against cowardly terrorist scum who should be left to rot I took on the role to make sure a real depiction was given.
It was originally called, 'A hunger for food' and didn't pull any punches but we had trouble getting funding for it so some changes had to be made thats when I left. Creative differences. 
I accepted the Christ-like look they were going for, I mean he was a skinny dying fucker. I had to lose 80 lbs for the role, I had a shite and a kidney removed.There is a scene which I am very proud of, "I'm no eating my food until I get ketchup, political ketchup!"
It was my actual shit that I smeared on the walls, on the DVD deleted scenes I'm mentioned and it shows the trouble I had as it was like gravy.
I hate to see terrorists painted in a favourable light or the wrong shade of brown . Sure Sands did suffer intimidation and sectarianism at the hands of loyalist thugs before joining the IRA but he became just as bad as them so fuck him.
Also around that time:
I hope Sands is burning in hell with his fellow IRA friends who sets off two bombs in London's Hyde Park and Regent's Park killing two members of the Household Cavalry , seven cute fluffy horses and six soldiers from the Royal Green Jackets. Leonard Murphy the leader of the Shankill Butchers. The INLA who bombed the Droppin' Well pub in County Londonderry killing Seventeen people, 11 of them soldiers. The INLA who shot and killed three people and wounded seven in a Protestant church in County Tyrone. The IRA who killed Five people and 80 wounded by a bomb outside Harrods department store in west London on December 17 1983. President Ronald Reagan who visited the Irish Republic in June 1984 and says US policy is not to interfere. I wonder whose side he was on. Clinton was a better preez, he interfered. The IRA who bombed the Grand Hotel in Brighton killing four.
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Thursday, 23 October 2008
I'm Such A Rake
John McCain on conservation.
Here in SoCal I don't know why Yanks are so into lawns, there is no fucking water to be had. I know its a hold over from copying the English which is stupid in its self but in England water falls from the sky, this phenomenon is called 'rain' if it rains over here Southern Callyfornia cums to a halt and on the news '200 dead in train crash' gets bumped to # 2 story just after the rain.
A camera crew gets sent out to film cars going through a dip in the road that has a puddle and motorists are stopped to give their opinion on the rain "Yeah its wet and I don't like it, make it stop."
Shut the fuck up you rebelious colonial traitor in the UK the weather is the main topic of small talk because we actually have weather drizzle fo sizzle every fucking painful day.
I suffer from S.A.D. which is sex addiction disorder but thats beside the point when its cloudy and wet I becum a grumpy old fucker and when its dry and sunny I becum a grumpy old fucker.
In the UK you always get some cunt who complains about the cold so to counter that you have to say, "well at least its dry" which is a polite way of saying you yappy wanker stop getting on like some kind of *European* looking on the negative side.
The French during WWII
"Regard Pierre le Nazis out number us 3 to 1 we must eat le cheese and surrender tout sweet."
The English during WWII
"Wot oh Tommy the bloody Hun out number us 3 to 1 lets have a cup of tea then kill the blighters, oh use up the Irish first and maybe Jerry will run out of bullets ."
The Yanks during WWII
"Its 1939 I see no war."
A sign I like that clearly states the intentions of the home owner. You should know by now that I support the shooting of several people as a way to combat Global warming and the shortage of resources.
Why has no one during this world wide recession ever mentioned to stop feeding and looking after prisoners?
If their families and some bleeding heart liberals want to feed pedos and rapists then let them I do not support or condone either.
I have thrown the idea out into the world lets see if some forward thinker runs with it.
Here is the sign I want made up for my home. Maybe they exist as many things I think of already do.
Yes I know the CIA listen in on my phone calls and e-mails and some of you fellow bloggers are no doubt spooks. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!
Where is this post going? you may ask
Back to my young days as a male model would you not want to be violated by my young hot lips?...................... My eyes are up here.
*Brits aren't really European*
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Thursday, 9 October 2008
This One Is For Me Homies
"Oh yeah I'll just pretend to be asleep and whey hey up the peanut butter."
There cums a time in a man's life (not weemen as they are only fit for hoosework and babies) when he has to take a stand for what is right, a protest of injustice if you will.
Rap star Nelly who I believe to be a male despite the name used to wear a plaster or band-aid to you Yanks on his cheek to support his bro who was in prison. Yes when he came onto the rapping scene I did invest in plasters and I made a killing. Of course by saying I made a killing cannot be used as evidence as you will never find the bodies and stay the fuck out of my fridge.
I shall wear a nose strip until the Fenian formerly known as 'Mad dog cunty baws' but now known as Jimmy Bastard is released from HMP Aberdeen. If you have looked him up on shite meter that is where he blogs from.
He is a long way from his native Texas and was on his Mormon mission to convert the Scottish Catholics and their dirty French loving Highland ways when he fell in with the wrong crowd and got arrested for having sex with miners.
The over crowding in Aberdeen prison is terrible and he has to share his cell (or mobile) with 4 other sex offenders. Please show some support and wear a nose strip for Jimmy, those minners and their sexy hard hats were asking for it and if you mention 'mine shaft' at all they take it the wrong way. Well the right way for Taigs if you are of the up the bum no babies methodology for sexual relations .
I don't watch that Greys anatomy crap but in the last month I have saw the skinny doctor gurl wearing a nose strip in bed with the doctor McSlimy actor that beat his older wife about and the chick was wearing it too high. There are directions on the fucking box you silly slag, worse doctor ever.
Oh (Sandra Oh) I did see the gook gurl getting stabbed by the ice-cream. That was funny as fuck and the best career move for her as she will actually have a career outside of the show.
Update
I gave up on wearing the nose strips as the whole Miner sex thing was a bit too cuntroversial for someone of my standing in the community............ hang the bastard.
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Saturday, 7 June 2008
Birthday Hoors
No my birthday has already been so nice try.
Prince is a dirty wee Jovohva witness singer type who wears high heels, gurly make-up and pretends to fuck the stage when hes sings those sinful songs full of smut and filth. He is 54 today. I got sick of the wee shite 20 years ago but he hangs around like a fart in a phone box. 
Tom Jones is Welsh, that's enough sin and burden for anyone but this cunt flaunts it. I know for a fact that he packs his trousers with rolled up socks cos I gave him the idea. Jones is 87 today.
Dave Navarro is a poofy guitar player who hangs around with other skinny dying fuckers who sprinkle cocaine on to their cornflakes and think lunch is a bottle of J.D. (yes I'm jealous) he tried to be cool but has since appeared in a Puff Daddy/diddy/doddy video and had his own reality show, yes he is now a media hoor, he is 48 today. 
Morris Blackstaff is a famous porn star from such movies like 'Animal rights/animal wrongs' and 'Yer ma loved it.' At a premier of one of his films he was to shake hands with the Queen but instead he feed his long dong through his jacket sleeve and she shook his penis, since then he has been on my hit list, yes Mr Blacstaff yer end will cum at my hands, he is 56 today. 
Liam Neeson from Ballymena, Northern Ireland a town where Old Knudsen used to reside is a Fenian cocksucker who refused the keys to the city only because its full of bitter Protestants who hated him when he lived there and still do, where is the love Mr Neeson? you don't deserve such an honour. A crappy actor who doesn't do accents because he can't, like Sean Connery but shite.Neeson is 63 today and hates puppies.
Friday, 23 May 2008
Yes I Am Complex
This post was inspired by Witchypoo who insists on posting pictures of herself on the crapper.
I have certain bathroom issues. While there is nothing wrong with a golden shower or a hot lunch on yer chest I draw the line at watching people sit on the bog to do their toilet big jobs.
I've shagged a gurl who had IBS, while she was on top she let go with the chocolate factory which is fine but to watch someone sit on a toilet and squeeze one out is just sick, couples who share the bathroom at the same time disgust me, there is a lock on toilet doors for a reason.
There is a time and a place for mega dumps like during sex or in a private bathroom so people show some decorum and for you Irish out there decorum doesn't mean spreading shit on the walls of yer prison cell.
Thursday, 24 January 2008
Old Knudsen In Trouble Yet Again
VERY URGENT FOR ATTENTION OF LEGAL DEPARTMENT
We act for the Diocese of Leeds.
We have been asked by our client to advise on the content of tile web page which it has just discovered with the above address which is posted by Blogspot (also known as Blogger)..
We understand Blogger is a blog publishing system which was bought by Google in 2003.
Having considered the web page• in question, which refers to our client and uuikes defamatory remarks about various priests within the Leeds Diocese, we have advisedour client that the content is highly defamatory of our client and the individual priests mentioned.
We request that you remove the offending web page from publication by. no later than 530pm today due to the complaints set out below.
Our client is very concerned generally about the tone and content cf the web page referred to above, however in particular our client takes issue with the following defamatory comments: . .
The website states:
The article goes on to say:
This express allegation that Father Lodge is accused of pedophilia and money extortion is totally untrue and highly defamatory of his reputation.
“Bishop of Leeds, the Right Reverend Arthur Roach ... hopes the calendar will help young men see the human side of the priesthood and not just the perverted child fondling side.”
Further, the article states that Father Darren of East Wessex stated:
“If I Wasn't doing this I would probably be an arms dealer.”
Whilst our client acknowledges and respects the freedom of expression Which the Internet affords, and has no interest whatsoever in stifling satire or criticism of the church which any individual might have, they are not prepared to sit back and ignore serious allegations of criminal involvement in pedophilia, which ate made against specific individuals.
Our client has no desire for a dispute against Blogger/Google but considers that it must take action to prevent the publication of such a damaging and defamatory article.
failing which our client reserves all rights,request that Google enforce its Blogger Content Policy in order to defend its reputation as a responsible publisher- This policy states that in respect of “Hateful Content”:
"Users may not publish material that provokes hatred towards groups based On ‘race; ethnic origin religion, disability, gender, veteran status and sexual orientation gender identity "if it is clear that this site is making hateful, untruthful comments’ about a religious organisation which have the potential to seriously damage the reputation of the individuals mentioned and the Diocese of Leeds as a whole.
We reserve the right to refer to this letter in the context of any defence of innocent publication which you may seek to advance in respect of any claim brought for defamation in the English courts, which specifically relies on Section 1 of’ the Defamation Act.’ 1996
We would be obliged if you would direct any correspondence on this issue to Martyn Scott at the email address set out below.
Yours faithfully
A story I did on my News blog didn't go doon too well. Yet again its the Catholics and their lack of sense of humour, maybe I touched upon a few truths or sensitive issues. They protest a bit too much I fear.
I don't give a shite about what the Fenian church says they can't touch me unlike the many underage victims that have been touched however Blogger can end my existence at any time. I have been forced to take doon the offending post.
What did you say? why don't you just change the names and move the post? so it doesn't make allegations about anyone ? yeah that would work. If Blogger kills me then what can I do but start up another blog? no big deal I copy my posts anyway.
I just wish the Catholic church had taken such swift legal action against all the pedo priests they have hidden and supported and lied about for years as they have with me.
Dear Diocese of Leeds why are you so touchy ? get a sense of humour its a satirical blog. How about yer priests getting a real job instead of spending their spare time googling themselves .
Please feel free to e-mail the above law firm with any questions you may have.
Sunday, 4 November 2007
Its 'V' For Vienetta and 'C' For Cornetto
Monday, 29 October 2007
Glory Days
Gerry Adams of Sinn Fein seen here sucking on a big , ugly, funny looking dick, its must be Ian Paisley. This crappy post was done purely for the benefit of MJ who likes this sort of thing.
