Upon almost completing a tour of duty in Afghanistan in which he terrorized many and ate their flesh he complained that the bloody wogs were giving him the chocolate squirts.
He was rushed to a London clinic for the emergency blood change which is expected to keep him going for another few months. He is to be kept in a hospital on a raw sirloin steak and live street urchin diet for observation for at least two weeks.
Why not just let him die? Having lost Bob Holness, Robin Gibb and David Jason recently, is Britain ready to lose yet another British icon?
A Whitehall think tank came to the conclusion that if Prince Philip was to die soon, the economy would collapse, we wouldn't be able to afford to keep Northern Ireland and would give it to the Irish government, we'd have to keep Scotland in the union by military force and that would leave us vulnerable to attacks from France and Spain.
May you be around for many years to come sir,we thank you for yer service.
