Northern Ireland is to have it's first Ulster Scots radio station. Ballymoney-based fUSe FM will give people who tune into the station by accident a taste of the recently invented Ulster Scots culture.
It was a dreich day, I was out wif me dauchter Senga an I was disjaskit cos I had yon Scitters. We met sam Lown fowk with the fleg on de roddin, den de peelers came roun an we had a bradbean scatty. I was Forfoughten so I shute "Houl yer wheesht we're jus here fer ar Heirskip away an fook!"
I hope ya get the idea, there are no translators on the radio ya goamy so learn the fuckin language.
The station will be baws to the wall culture with a capital 'K' , there will be a fair bit of banter but no humour .... maybe some light hearted exchange about tractors, drums and farm fairs .... but no 'funny' humour.
There is no word in Ulster Scots for the words, funny, compassion and thank you. There are 32 ways to say 'no.'
There will be an hour devoted to the weather.
Since the Ulster Scots do not like outsiders, we ask anyone from outside the Ballymoney to mind yer own business and not tune in.
If you want to request some music please feel welcome to do so, as long as it's from 'Now thats what I call Sashbash 1, 2 and 3' CD's. No diddle eye music as we aren't leprechauns, unless there is a foreign investor about as then we will answer to the name Irish .... to be sure.
