Welcome to my celebration of the American way, blah words and odd pictures but very American.
Its been a funny old week and I've been all over the place. I went to Mongolia to stir up some anti-communist feelings as the Mongs have had it too easy for too long, Genghis Khan, Genghis Khan, Ghenghis Khan let me rock you let me rock you Genghis Khan wouldn't have put up with the commies oh no, he was a right cunt who killed anyone taller than a wagon wheel axle so he wouldn't have enemies in the future, now that's the way how to do war.
All the men go to war leaving fat arseholes doing gang signs to get the hot weemen.
Then I went to Columbia and freed some hostages from the FARC, I just did that for the comedy value of saying FARC a lot, I'd say, "FARC! two boiled eggs" and yes I would laugh every time I said it because I'm a simple soul as I said to old Harold Truman, "better out than in" and then I told him what Genghis Khan would do to the Japs if he had his way.
The land of good taste.
Its the 4th of July and you know what happened on the 4th of July 1776? Congress approved the wording of the Declaration on Independence and sent it off to the printers, it never got printed because me being an agent of the British and thoroughly pissed off that the Yanks only won because of the French helping them mis-placed it sort of.
Well I really wiped me arse on it in support of the niggers and the wee weemen who in no had their independence, I was a sort of human rights activist back then before deciding that people are cunts.
You don't look at the clock on the mantle when yer stoking the fire.
The Highland Catholics tried to use the French to defeat the British in fact those French bastards have always been trying to thwart our plans for world domination all the while trying it on themselves, just look at the yappy frogs in Quebec, suck it up Frenchies yer now Canadian and British bitch by default.
If I was married to Posh spice I'd be checking out what real weemen looked like too.
To any French readers of my blog fuck off you cheese eating surrender monkeys the only French thing I like is the fries and maybe some of the less hairy and washed weemen.
Still Americans just keep breeding.
I learned some conversational French when I worked there as a back bone inserter just after the war but I was fucked if I was going to do that ghey accent, if you don't want to say a 'T' at the end of a word then why the fuck do you spell it like that?
I can't remember half of that crap now, Spanish is another ghey sounding language and when someone says something to me in that dirty lingo I have to get through my automatic French response first so now I just don't talk to brown people unless they are hot.
Remember when America was cool?
Happy 4th of July you Yanks and I hope you are happy with yer taxation with representation, how did that work out for you? what a fine state the place is in with 45 million people without healthcare complaining about the government thinking yer vote counts as the schools get dumber and the petrol and food gets more expensive.
Americans want to see this ugly fucker shagging weemen, how ghey is that?
Good for you lot, spend money on fireworks because its unpatriotic not too and its not like Al Gore has said they are bad for the environment. No hard feelings about beating us either we British love you even if the rest of the world hates you, yer like a big retarded cousin to us similar but just not right in the head.
The only cuntry in which you can get season tickets for rehab and group discounts.
Ah children are our future. Miley Virus or Hannah Lantana the perfect example of American youth. I foresee pregnancy, rehab and more slutty pictures, you know the usual.
I just had to end it with Springsteen doing his sex face. He'll never make it big unless he starts to sound more like Pearl Jam like all the other groups.
4 comments:
You better believe it, and those prices are going higher just like the price of all commodities should be - the real price.
I still think the rise of fascism is only starting whatever about the USA, and Europe loosing their grip with oil 146 a barrel.
I prefer the Bruce Springsteen sex face to the Bruce Springsteen bulldogish underbite.
I only come here for the pictures but leave with so much more...
Don't be dissing Bruce!
I asked you nice to keep that picture of me in front of my fireplace private and now you go and post it on yer blog, ya big wanker. You can just bugger off, ya know?
At least we Americans aren't supporting an old lady and her fucked-up brood who damn well have enough money to take care of themselves and and we're not curtsying to these slackers when they happen to show up to meet the "common folk." And we care for our teeth.
I must admit, however, it was quite strange celebrating 4th of July while drinking Chilean wine, Boddington's, and Guinness, surrounded by maps of Essex and reminders of Shenfield and Billericay that the in-laws brought here with them. 364 days a year they go on about how lovely it was in Britain, but this one day it's all about America. Go figure.
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