Monday 16 July 2007

Larne Who Cares?

Larne is a half-way hoose for all the culchie thugs from further up around the coast, nothing good cums from larne except the P&O ferries.

Northern Ireland actor James Nesbitt was on a BBC show called "Something for the weekend" which refers to what Barbers used to ask after they cut yer hair, when they would try to sell you some condoms.

After talking about how he used to be in a Kick the Pope marching band which helped him bond with his father "Frankie madbull Nesbitt" he went on to the cooking segment. They were doing some Vietnamese dish sans dog when Nesbitt was asked if he had ever been to Vietnam.
Nesbitt being a witty shite said he hadn't but he had been to the town of Larne which was close enough to Nam. Larne is about 12 miles from Belfast and a main port for the ferries going to Scotland, I've been there many times and even worked there. Not once did I see trees move or Charlie in his black pajamas, he actually wore Thomas the Tank Engine ones.

Well Larne was pretty pissed off. DUP politician (protestant no humour) Sammy Wilson said he doubted the actor was referring to the Vietnam of today which is a tourist hot spot.
He told radio Ulster's Talkback programme that hes one of the people who leave Northern Ireland and make it good and then slag the place off. The town has just come through a slump and there was new optimism for its future. He said with a straight face.

The radio show tried to get a comment from Nesbitt who replied via a text message.
"Just got off a flight in LA to hear your message re-Larne. Jeez it was a joke. First thing that came into my head. Is Larne up in arms? Wouldn't be the first time."

Well done Mr Nesbitt I hate people without a sense of humour and to be honest Larne is and has been a shit hole for as long as I can remember. James Nesbitt 1 DUP nil.
I've been working on my bank job today, that involves a little light cleaning at closing time nothing big but it got me thinking about Barbers, you hardly see any about any more its all uni-sex, make no mistake I like weemen no uni-sex for me unless you mean some gurly boys of course who can be rather fetching sometimes.

Well this pop group called "The Divine Comedy" had a song called "Something for the weekend" and when I lived in Belfast I lived about a mile away from where concerts were being held so I'd stand in my bathroom with the window open having a piss while getting live music from The Divine Comedy, Texas, The Corrs and even U2 , nothing to do with Nesbitt except he was in a beer advert and when I drink beer after the seal is broken (the first time you piss when out drinking) I'd be up pissing after every other beer enjoying the music, the only thing to annoy me was the army helicopters that hover high up over yer hoose to watch the traffic in case of terrorists and that would be joined every 5 minutes by an army spotter plane.

Still the Scots blood in my appreciated getting the music for free.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Politicans and spammers have no humor.

http://wolf.ok.ac.kr/~annyg/deutsch/d1.htm

Dog is korean speciality. Read the book! and hey - dog is spam-free!

Old Knudsen said...

Mein Deutsch ist zu schlecht, dieses zu lesen I can ask for a beer and a double room, but I liked the picture of the doggy.

Jemima's mummy said...

Mmmm brings to mind...

Merthyr Tydfil County Borough Council: "Leisure and Tourism - The beautiful and dramatic countryside around Merthyr Tydfil is the perfect setting for a wide range of activities and attractions."

Such as shooting up, mainly. Apart from Chatham in Kent, this was one of the most depressing, heroine-soaked, suicide destinations I've ever had the misfortune of driving through. I did stop, interract with the locals briefly and flee before they could suck me into their parallel universe.

Local councillors/politicians are apt to be a touch rosy hued and must be chopped down at the knees at every opportunity. And then at the neck.

Old Knudsen said...

Larne has nothing but a ferry terminal and 3 corners of a castle, thats all thats left, the DUP are serious about everything, a little too serious.

The Painted Ass said...

Can't really slag Larne off too much seeing as I live in Comber, but as someone who used to do the back and forth to Scotland, lets just say I was pretty chuffed when Belfast got the Seacat! DUP - shusssssh - no one say the "C" word!

Anonymous said...

Never heard of the bloke, but apparently I'm not missing much.

Hope your doing well!
Take Care,
-P

Annie said...

Larne sounds like Holyhead. I quite fancy James Nesbitt. Not as much as I fancy you though, Knudsen.

Old Knudsen said...

the painted ass Comber? thats not even a real place,thats in the same catagory as Doagh. The DUP don't let you say "cunt?" what a packs of cunts.

Ms Blue In the UK we have crappy stars, middle aged dodgy looking blokes like Robson Green, all the grannies love them.

Annie Rhiannon I've been to holy head of course from the ferries, hardly noticed it.I think I want you.

Old Knudsen said...

Well he was in a Kick the Pope band, so was my brother and hes a dick. I happen to have a red devil tatooed on my back coincidence I'm sure. So many sit on the fence and play both sides I'm just glad he got one over on the DUP.