Showing posts with label syphilis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label syphilis. Show all posts

Monday, 20 October 2014

Forever Bitter


So TV executives are sitting spit balling ideas on TV shows and the boss says, "shows about immortal guys working as cops makes me hard, get er done." ... Great idea CJ ... marvelous, another genius idea ... that's why yer the boss.

Ioan Gruffudd plays the charming but English uber intelligent lead, with the deductive powers of Dr House and Sherlock but he's not a wanker. Judd Hirsch plays the token old guy who he adopted out of a concentration camp, there is also the hot female detective who will never compare to Ioan's true loves ... and so she is just a guy with tits. 
 
My name is Henry Morgan. My story is a long one. Something happened nearly two centuries ago, and I was transformed. My life is just like yours except for one small difference... it never ends. Over the years, you could say I've become a student of death. You see, I need to find a key to unlock my curse. So I currently work for the New York City Medical Examiner's Office. It holds the largest collection of slightly chilled corpses in the world. If your game is death, you go where the action is.

It's good that the US police lets their medical examiners out into the field so much and are very relaxed on procedure. Well it's good if yer an immortal or a serial killer working as a police forensics expert.  


My name is Ichabod Crane, I was enlisted in the Queen's royal regiment and sent to the American colonies to fight the patriots. It didn't take long for me to have a change of heart. In 1781 I died on the battlefield but I was saved by a mysterious spell cast upon me by my beloved wife Katrina. Now I've been awakened 250 years later and fate led me to miss Abigale Mills a young police lieutenant investigating baffling mysteries. We are now bearing witness to strange events and dark forces, they foretell that our realm is in danger and that the Apocalypse may be upon us .

I don't know if Ichabod is immortal or not but what a cool name Ichabod is, I want to name my next boy child Ichabod, I was going to go with Mr Pickles again but Ichabod it is. His female detective is a guy with tits as Ichabod pines away for his wife who was in purgatory but is now shacked up with the headless horseman ... a long story. 
Icky continues to dress like the 1700's because skinny jeans didn't do it for him and he continues to be confused about working his cell phone ... Hey who isn't?  The lass was in the movie Shame and got shagged by Michael Fassbender in the movie and in real life, a great scene ... is it odd that I've seen that scene many times but haven't watched the movie? 

It's a silly show, a fish out of water premise with end of times Gog bothering. I can just imagine Tom Mison who plays Ichabod reading the script and saying, "I was in Hamlet for fucks sake!"   Like most upper class English leads Ichabod has an Eidetic memory and so knows all the languages and facts which helps the plot along, unlike in Buffy and Supernatural and roller boy Stephen Hawking who rely on Google for their knowledge.       

 More like Forever Shite!

He was brought across in 1228, preyed on Human's blood . Now he wants to be mortal again. He repays society for his sins to emerge from his world of darkness, from his unending forever night. 

A TV show from the 90's that became popular because .... maybe there wasn't that must else like it then? Of course this vampire becomes a cop because cops don't go out during the day. It was lame, it was Canadian.
I don't care what you say but shows shot in Canada may be less expensive to make but you can always tell it's Canadian which spoils it a little, when they don't pretend and are set in Canada it also spoils it as what the fuck happens in Canada? Then you have actors trying to be American stereotypes but say aboot during their big scene.
  

Like the Highlander movies and TV show spin offs there are always flashbacks to former days which I find so boring but that's just me. Just a chance to wear wigs.  

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau was in a similar show to Forever, with the token old guy and the female detective ... but it got cancelled which is not cool. I could watch him in anything, including ghey porn, totally in ghey porn. I just cannot get over Scandinavian people (he's Danish, yes I could eat him) speaking better English than wot we talk.     


In 1642 John Amsterdam gave his life for a woman in return she gave him a gift, a gift that he would not grow old, he would not die until he was united with his one true love. Things change, technology, the economy, science, progress, all of it gets old except me. Now he's using lifetimes of experience to help others as a New York homicide detective. There's no where he hasn't been, there's nothing he hasn't done. While he brings closure to others lives, he's still searching to find closure of his own.       

So there is the chance he's done ghey porn then? 


No, I'm keeping him. He can be my token black dude and token old guy all in one.

Like a guy with tits .... no seriously she has a cock too, but she'll cost you extra. 

In 500 AD I awoke in puddle of vomit and someone else's blood. I had killed an old gypsy wizard who cursed me with his final breath. He cursed me with immortality, hey it could have been a lot worse like the herpes I managed to get myself. I am now Immoral .... er Immortal but because I didn't pay attention in school I cannot join the police or be a medical examiner working with a hot female detective so to make up for my sins I became a forever pimp. I treat my gurls good since most of them are my children and I will not rest until I find that pen I lost in 1994 cos it wrote very nicely and had a rubber grip and seriously pens don't just fucking well vanish .... in my world of forever bitter.  

Who the fuck would become a peeler solving crimes? Makes you wonder how many immortals there are in the police, must be a few as being immortal makes you a bit of a know it all. I won't say how old I was in 500AD, I've had a hard life, it's not as easy to make yer fortune as you think it is, I had all this gold and priceless works of art saved up then the fucking Yanks had to liberate them in 1944, the thieving gits.


 This guy is huge in the stock market.

After the crash of 1929 I keep all my stocks in a box under me bed, of course all those stocks have gone down. Being immortal would drive many a person insane, especially waiting centuries for a cure for Syphilis and after years of solitary confinement for crimes you don't even remember committing or when they change the law to trap you ... is it not legal to kill Native Americans anymore? I can't keep up.  Luckily Old Knudsen's mind has gone from strength to strength and he has become amazingly wise an shit.

  

Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Media Slant And Grundle Licking

Standard offensive yet topical picture.

Is Old Knudsen pissed off? ..... why yes he is. I'm a big boy, no I'm not talking about me cock size again. I can take bad news.

 Am I the only one freaked out by Miley's alien tongue?


I don't need you to sugar coat things or just to leave out the bad things. I think that doing that you are treating people like idiots.

 A stock photo of some idiots.

So ya got the media in the US over reporting on every single shooting to make a point. 


Especially when the one shot is a coloured chappy. So many other murders and shootings that don't get to be a household name. 
In the US race is that issue you have to nod and agree with or yer a racist, oh and if you talk about it and say something like.  "Well maybe if the 'person of colour' wasn't high, going 90 in a stolen car then pulling out a gun the police wouldn't of had to have shot him." .... you may get accused of being a racist, "but it was a black cop who shot him" .... you fucking racist I ain't got time for this.

I have nothing against Ben Affleck , he just tends to do movies I don't want to see. Dogma is more or less the only movie Old Knudsen likes him in though Matt Damon is better. 

The back lash against Ben playing the next Batman goes to show you what a load of sad fuckers there are out there. We get this every Bond and every Dr Who for fucks sake!

Christian Bale and the Batman movies he was in were not as lame as most DC has been up to date, I mean nipples on the Bat suit?
It's easy for Bale to play the angry asshole type, it comes naturally to him. Ben doesn't have to do it that way since he'll be with Superman, he'll do a fine enough job frowning and brooding so lay off him. 

Big news stories huh? Things that make you forget yer lack of healthcare or the cuts that are always around the corner. 
FUCKING IMMIGRANTS FUCKING FOOD STAMPS  FUCKING GUNS FUCKING MONSANTO FUCKING TERRORISTS FUCKING FLEGS.


You have to go to places online like the Washington post and the New York Times if you want to hear about the Muslim Brotherhood targeting Coptic Christians. 
If you see a red X on a shop it's Muslim, if you see a black X it's Christian so feel free to attack it. About 40 or more churches have been looted, damaged or burned down thanks to these cunts. I know that Christians are ALL pedophiles but some of those churches were old.

Is this big news? The fact that many of the rebels in Syria are Islamists now, is this big news? Who is helping the rebels? ... is that news? Yeah cos Vietnam and Afghanistan worked out sooo well. 

Russia decided to not like gheys a little more. Distracted from Putin and his ghey biker club? ... good. He has a poofy 3 wheeler ... lol! 

I can understand how you would put the stories out and bury them so that it doesn't stir up racial or sectarian tension, but to be a sneaky cunt about it is another thing.  We only get half of the story especially when it's from governments.

Maybe they shouldn't make churches so flammable.   

During the fleg riots in Northern Ireland, many of the things that happened weren't reported. I don't mean pretend stories of Loyalists watching the police beat old people up, I'm talking about Loyalists burning out buses and blocking roads.

Who decides where are news is gonna take us? There seems to be familiar patterns to it, distract by lying big to get people worked up and do the real work somewhere else.   

Who approved these hospital closures .... well it was done when you were talking about ghey marriage and abortion, it's all legal.... ya didn't even noticed the rise in petrol.

Where is the outrage? I don't want outrage over the alleged taking our guns or how everyone on food stamps are eating better than me with two jobs and how the immigrants get everything handed to them .... quit the made up shit and go check out the facts .... not on Facebook. 


While others think that some heritage or culture that they don't have is worth destroying a country and a peace for why do they not protest each cut their own leaders make to programs every week? Why are they not celebrating each cruise ship that brings tourists to our shore? 

The media is doing us no favours by letting the morons come to their own conclusions. Here we go. The Muslim Brotherhood are a hate group infecting the world .... not all Muslims support them, got it? 
Just like the IRA are cock sucking scumbags, not all Catholics support them. 

So many groups with so many idiot names to mention. Sometimes you just have to stop and think, 'putting this bomb on this busy street, is that really the right thing to do?' ... the answer is no, no matter how great you think yer cause it. 
 
  Where is the outrage?
The Beatles had a couple of catchy tunes, they weren't no One Direction or Justin Bieber but they were ok. 
If that dentist fucker with Lennon's tooth clones him Old Knudsen will have to go shoot him meself. Imagine all the people .... don't fucking tell me what to do you unwashed hippy!

Yes I do understand that a cloned John Lennon might not be anything like the original. Old Knudsen made a ton of clones of himself in the early 90's and most of them didn't want have threesomes .... fucking ghey if you ask me. 


Thursday, 17 January 2008

Not My Problem Mate

Some days you wake up and the sky is grey, yer syphilis is flaring up yer bills are more than you earn and yet again someone has spray painted "Die Knudsen" over yer front door. Then you look at the problems of other people and it puts it all into perspective.

Matthew McConaughey a rich Hollywood star who was once voted the worlds sexiest man has gotten his hot Brazilian model gurlfriend Camilla Alves pregnant. Ha ha! I wouldn't want yer troubles mate.

Or I just look at yer blogs and am grateful I'm not you.