Animal Husbandry Course Gone Baaaad

 You know you want it

Yer supposed to count sheep in order to help you sleep. At Fresno State University, police arrested a student for having sex with a sheep ..... Why the fuck do they have a sheep unit on campus if they are just going to arrest anyone that uses it? 

It's a fucking set up! Probably some kind of cruel social studies experiment like how Facebook turns seemingly normal people into raving right wing racists by sharing the nice memes from Britain First, LIKE and SHARE if you are against animal cruelty, support the veterans and like cheese.  First the puppies, patriotism, dairy products and before you know it yer sharing memes about how Muslims inject Ebola into baby formula that you buy in shops and they are laughing at you cos they are all rich on welfare and yer baby is sick.

So, anyway. 

The computer engineering student (bet he now goes into I.T.) was holding Fluffy doon and giving her the length when he was rudely interrupted by the peelers. When they critiqued his method he told them that it was his first time and that he had been drinking earlier in the evening.   

Were we short a news story this Halloween? Usually a bloke is found fucking some pumpkins, is this the bloke and he missed his chance? 

The student then asked officers "Am I going to be expelled for this?" ... that's anyone's guess mate, they expel people for all sorts of silly stuff these days. Book em Danno!  

Geep Is The Work Of Satan

Framer Brown from County Kildare .... where ever the fuck that is has a living abomination on his farm. One day while in his wellies fucking his livestock he noticed his goat Billy was copying him. He thought nothing of it as it wasn't doing all of his sexy moves.

Later a lamb with the characteristics of a goat was born. They are rare and sometimes medium rare as the genetic divide between sheep and goats is distant ....... that's according to scientist farmers but they look and feel similar to Old Knudsen.  These creatures are usually stillborn or don't live for long.

   Durty hoor of a sheep mother.

Since they are so rare and over done the name they have cum up with is geep ... sheet, shoat or shat would have been better. That sheep looks familiar. Is County Kildare one of those counties in Ulster like Tyrone or Armagh? ya know, those farmy type ones no one gives a fuck about?

I'm sure gentleman farmer the noted creationist and health minister Edwin Poots thinks as I and that this is the work of the Devil since genetics doesn't exist. It has to be Satan as it's black .... no offence to any Negroes reading this is a religious matter not a racial one. The Geep has longer legs than most sheep which means it can run from Christian mobs and it has horns about to pop up. 

Burn it! well braise it with some tatties and mint sass .... Old Knudsen is hungry and horny all of a sudden. Talk about blurred lines. 

Liam Neeson And The Shaggy Dog Story

The story going around that movie star Liam Neeson stopped a gang of teenagers from stoning a dog in Central park is untrue. A representative of the star told the press that Neeson did not tell three teenagers who were stoning a dog to stop or he'd beat the crap out of them and they did not flee at the sight of his Ballymena fury.

Neeson who ate wolf stew during the making of the movie The Grey hates dogs and would let the fucker die, in fact he is more likely to tape broken bottles to his hand and get stuck into it himself. 

What really happened was that Neeson was walking through the village area of Lower Manhattan when he saw 3 professional hitmen making unwanted advances towards an attractive Ascanian sheep.

Neeson approached them and told them to leave her alone or he'd kick the crap out of them. The hitmen just laughed. Neeson looked at them with the fury of a man on the edge and said "or else."

That was the last thing they heard as Nesson then used his mobile phone to beat them to death... it was all just a blur. Being a method actor Neeson has admitted that his role of Good cop/Bad cop in the Lego movie has been hard to escape. I still feel that I have a lot of the bad cop character in me and it builds up and turns into an explosive rage.

Nesson recently got into trouble when a mother of two tried to jump line at a bus stop. Neeson who wasn't even getting a bus pommeled the woman to the rapturous applause of the other passengers.

Earlier this year he made a citizens arrest on a smoker who thought that the world was his ashtray. Neeson, a life long Buddhist pistol whipped the elderly before calling the police.

The story with the lovely Ascanian sheep turned into a love story as Neeson and the sheep named Wispy are now dating.   

Willie And The Sheep

Willie Frazer was caught baa handed with a sheep that he was not married to. Mr Frazer, 58 kept reporters talking for 14 hours until they got fed up with the story.

Frazer who wants to push a bed through Belfast past the Ardoyne shops as a part of his culture claimed that the sheep was small,soft, very alluring and spoke with a southern accent, no doubt set up by the IRA as a honey trap.

"Nat many beys can resist a drap of mint sass on sam pretty lamb" he was heard to mumble during his 14 hour filibuster.  

"He just wouldn't shut up" said Matt Gloss a photographer with the Newsletter, "he just went on and on and on and on then suddenly the sheep just didn't matter anymore and the IRA ARE EVERYWHERE!!!!"

Frazer, 24 had previously studied mind control and tantric sex online at the Open University only sleeps 2 hours a night and is a spokesman for Pro-Plus caffeine tablets. Thank fuck he was not available for comment.

Old Knudsen Got Our People Back, Yay!

To those poor Marines locked up for 13 days with some Semen, yer ordeal is over, unless you don't want it to be of course. I'm sure the gurl was safe.


President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad held a news conference, broadcast around the world with the 15 captured British servicemen and woman present. They wore grey suits with no ties in compliance with Islamic dress codes, the woman wore red ,white and black horizontal stripes probably in an attempt to humiliate her for being a minger that smokes too much.





The little presidential prick announced that as a good will gesture he would , pardon the servicemen and set them free as "a gift to the British people". Wow what a guy, give us something that was already ours.

All of this was just a show of strength to remind the world how brave they are and to get more aid and less sanctions. Mahmoud has always been jealous of Kim jong Il and how he gets all the aid for popping off a missile. Never, put a little guy incharge of a country, fucking nutters with something to prove, however if you put a guy that's too tall in charge of the opposition's countries then the little guy will really want to teach him a lesson as he no doubt got all the gurls in school.
Old Knudsen's recommended height for world leaders should not surpass 5 ft 8 in.



Kissing other men is just so ............. ghey, thats the word, I bet his tongue tastes like sheep's arse.

It is not surprising that Ahmadinejad was feeling the pressure I was subjecting him to on this Blog, my rescue attempt in which I ended up in that cuntry South of Canada must of really shook him up. Just toe the line Bucko or the White leopards (me and my men) will yet again go into action .