Ramzan Kadyrov Is Very Not Gay

Look he almost touched a real woman while dancing

The Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov who is totally straight as you can tell by his beard denies that gheys have been arrested, tortured and have even died in the Chechen Republic. There are no ghey Chechens only ugly. 

You can't persecute something that doesn't exist. 

 Kadyrov with a young friend

Kadyrov fought in the first Chechen war against the Russians before becoming a turncoat and getting put into power by the Russians and being their butt monkey, he founded the Akhmat Fight Club, is married with 12 children (2 adopted) and has totally NOTHING to prove to anyone .... NOTHING!!!!

He is also not a thug for hire and doesn't kill off journalists and politicians for his sugar daddy Putin.  

 Siegfried & Roy are his heroes cos only real men have tigers

Anyone who are LGBT are fake Chechens. "Chechen society does not have this phenomenon called non-traditional sexual orientation. For thousands of years, the people have lived by other rules, prescribed by God."

So Chechnya is a little like Iran who also don't have the gheys. 

 Kadyrov with a young friend

It has been reported that 100 gheys were rounded up, detained and tortured, 4 have even died. This news is old so that number would be well up now if they had any gheys there. 

  

Tough guy Kadyrov denies he is angry and doesn't know why he likes long hard pointy weapons up on his wall, he just does. He is also a big fan of manly gladiator movies also Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals, he can sing all the songs from Carousel and in proper order. A movie he's watched 183 times. 

  Kadyrov with two young sweaty friends

Remember in 2016 he was annoyed by British turncoat comedian John Oliver because he took to Instagram to look for his missing cat? 

Save me please!

The poor lad was reduced to manly tears and mean libtard Oliver just kept on goading him. What a bully!  He even slagged him off for his numerous gym videos. Got to stay in shape for the boys ladies. 

Well his cat was found and Kadyrov had its legs removed so Mr Fluffaduff would never get lost ever again. 

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has urged the Kremlin to investigate the human rights abuse of homosexuals in Chechnya. 

You complete me Vlad! 

Putin said he'd get right on it ... lol! In Russia homosexuality isn't illegal, as long as you don't do it in public or mention it in anyway. 

As Kadyrov says, "if you suck cock and take it up the ass in a manly angry way then you are just being a red blooded male, only fags enjoy it."   

  

Join Old Knudsen in boycotting Chechen products like ....

The Poonisher

Today is national 'I'm going to kill those you hold dear and then slowly torture you to death for not picking up yer dog's shit' day. Enough is enough I'm sick of walking the streets checking for booby traps like it was Nam all over again.

Recently while walking the streets at night (fighting crime an stuff) I not only stood in a turd but my foot slid 6 inches forward like it was ice. Even with street lights that part of the pavement was dark so I stood no chance. Only Old Knudsen's cat like reflexives saved him from totally going for his tea.

I shall now hunt down any dog owners I suspect of not poo lifting, break their legs with hammers and force feed them dog poo (I have a collection) before slitting their throats .... over kill? How dare you judge me you cunt!
If Old Knudsen can't do his gravy train around the aisles in Tesco then dogs should not be allowed to poop where they please either. 

 
Eye posters over bicycle stands have reduced bike thefts. Like Mountain lions a bike thief will not strike if they think there are eyes looking at them. Mountain lions always attack you from behind, aye the great outdoors can be just like a prison shower at times.

Old Knudsen can not be everywhere .... unless you count those Soviet clones of Old Knudsen but technically they are different people and some of them are right arseholes, I can't stand them, I'd still do them but I wouldn't be friends with them.

So by putting eyes onto trees I shall let the poo offenders know that they are being watched. These eyes will strike fear into their hearts and they WILL lift their dog do.

I can only cover up some crimes ya know before I'm forgetting who I killed and where, one time I was putting a hooker into a shallow grave under some roses when I realised the bloke that tried to get me to switch me electricity provider was buried there ... awkward! ... lovely blooms on those flowers though.

I'm only kidding and you can't prove anything ha ha, I joke sooo much. Ach they were all filthy hoors anyways otherwise the archangel Michael wouldn't have told me to kill them.

So I'm off today putting me guardian eyes onto trees. I hope people read this blog post so they know what I'm doing, I don't want folk to think I'm a nutter or something.  



 

Nautical But Nice

Young lads these days look different, must be the fluoride in the water. 

Last Thursday was a beautiful day. I mention this because the Northern Ireland summer has been cancelled due to government cuts but Thursday was a fine spring like day .... for summer. 

The water on Belfast lough was sparkling silver with just a hint of a breeze to cool you down. I spent the afternoon on the deck of a 32 foot sailing sloop drinking wine and singing sea shanties much like I did back during my whaling days though then it was rum .... and coke, sometimes crack, you know us semen. 

I was through me third bottle of wine and halfway through the song Hieland Laddie, you know the one, 'Was you ever in Merashee, where you stayed fast to tree, was you ever in Baltimore, dancin' on that sanded floor' and this fella was just staring at me. I can't sing when someone is staring at me, just like how Benedict Cumberbatch can't act when people record it on their phones .... we're fucking sensitive.

I says the traditional, "do you have a fucking problem mate?" and he says, "Marina security, we notified the owner of this yacht and he didn't give you permission to be on it, you are upsetting the other members and their children with your songs and foul language, you are also trespassing and the police have been called."

I thought Old Knudsen was a party pooper ... no seriously I take a big dump at a party to break the ice and to give people something to talk about. Old Knuden's poop can actually break ice, it hurts coming out but handy when yer ice fishing in the Artic.  

"I suppose the owner didn't give me permission to drink his wine and go through his cabin."

He looked a little shaken at that and said that if the negligee wasn't mine I was going to have to take it off. 

Is this what Old Knudsen fought for? Are these his freedoms? Surely there must be a maritime law about salvage, there was no one on board when Old Knudsen climbed on and no one said anything about trespassing when Old Knudsen creeped walked past the reception. Feels a little like entrapment to me. 

      

Turns out that the marina security guard was stronger than he looks and that Old Knudsen still can't swim. It's lucky I suppose that the police don't bother to show up for misunderstandings like this or I'd never be out of prison. 

Ach the way I see it is that if yer man can afford a nice boat like that then he can afford a good stain remover, not my fault it was probably yon bottles of Red Bordeaux I was drinking, the date on them was 1999, I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure that they were well out of date. If me tummy doesn't settle doon soon I may take the fucker to court. 

Learn from Old Knudsen's experiences.