Trump's Circle Jerk

Trump got his cabinet together to give him a good report of how things were going or how they thought he'd want them to be going. In his boring halting monotone voice he read from his notes the words, millions, trillions, great, very good and of course he complained about the Democrats for being obstructionists even though he hasn't even nominated very many people for them to obstruct.

Everything else had to be good news. Even his remarks about how many jobs created was good despite the figures being lower than they have been for months. He mentioned vague apprenticeships in which he'd have people trained to do manual work as that was very important so he has heard.

Perhaps Ivanka mentioned how hard the children in her Chinese clothes factories work.     

Instead of just getting reports he went round the table for each person to awkwardly gush about him and to tell him how great everything was.

Nope, sorry Donald # 2 but something else grabbed his attention, he probably missed that whole thing.

Operation Covfefe was a sucess ... as you all know it wasn't a late night typo it was obviously a code for people in the know. No, not the Russians but yeah I bet they know ALL about it. 

Betsy helping to shape the Trump voter of the future.

Dominant males and those who have received medals from Putin and yet haven't been considered a compromise risk like Tillerson just has to say the basic shit. 

Former Marines who don't take shit like General Mattis also don't have to gush about the President. Army General McMaster is so expendable that Mattis makes him sit behind him at an open window so he'd be the one to get shot by a sniper .... because he can and because he thinks it's funny.

  
Yeah, what the Asian MILF said, so good looking it hurts my eyes.

John Kelly may be a former US Marine but he is certainly no Mad Dog, more like an HR. He just follows his orders like a good little soldier.  

Hope Hicks standing in the background gave a great review of Trump recently. "He has a magnetic personality and exudes positive energy, which is infectious to those around him. 

He has an unparalleled ability to communicate with people, whether he is speaking to a room of three or an arena of 30,000. 

 I 'hope' you will tell me more in private Hope

He has built great relationships throughout his life and treats everyone with respect. 

He is brilliant with a great sense of humor . . . and an amazing ability to make people feel special and aspire to be more than even they thought possible."

Her statement has led to calls for random drug testing in the White House. I wonder what hidden talents the former model with no PR skills has to have landed this job.  

Carson whose motto for the operating theater is 'leave them wanting more' took time to dazzle the crowd with his wit.

Kellyanne smiling and nodding in resentment at the back

No time to run around the country for validation rallies Trump has had to get his 3 kids to do interviews on Fox and to have this meeting to remind people how great he is. 

I don't remember Obama or even Bush having to do this. 

Despite protest rallies and his travel ban getting defeated in court once again the president wants you to know that everything is going great and ahead of schedule, so great they didn't even bother with a schedule that would only slow things down. 

The wall fence partition border barrier is almost complete ... or rather the setting up for a meeting potentially in the near future to discuss it is almost complete.  And ahead of schedule!

A new coal mine was just opened in Pennsylvania and will be shipping coal to American homes whether they want it or not .... as Europe and India that buys US coal steadily moves to renewable sources of energy and or gas. Coal exports have been down 30% with many coal burning plants being closed. China has stopped buying North Korean coal at the moment but that isn't enough to save the US coal industry. 

There is nothing more American than living in denial, black lung and air pollution. Tremendous!  

Inside The White House

Steve Bannon's office

Old Knudsen was allowed special access into the White House. The Bannon Trump Administration trusts Old Knudsen to be fair and honest unlike the media. Old Knudsen served his cuntry and won medals so a war hero is to be trusted and given shit like houses and benefits an shit before anyone else because they chose to get a better but less patriotic job so fuck em.  

 A true hero

The new President of the United States of America is awesome. He's kept all his campaign promises except the ones he didn't keep and speaks his mind. A true man of the peeple. Who doesn't eat McDonald's and KFC alone on their privates jets? .... losers, that's who. 

Obama wanted to protect the environment yet wanted to frack, no ungood doublespeak from Trump, just good old fashioned honesty that has yet to be appreciated. He doesn't care about the environment, he wants to spoil it, sell it and fuck it to death and boy is that refreshing. Build all the pipelines and take down those dangerous ugly whirly windmill things ... they kill the birds and give you cancer ya know.   

Passing by the Oval office the preez himself was getting his finger extensions put on. He was going to give a speech to law enforcement and wanted to appear strong. I asked him how he thought his first few weeks on the Iron throne had gone so far. 

"Terrific! Everyone loves me my approval ratings have been higher than any other president and I've probably most definitely have done more work that anyone ever. My inauguration had so many people at it that we couldn't fit them all in, the rest had to come the next day when I wasn't even there but the women they all love me. The Spics, the blacks and the Jews love me too but the dishonest media .... I'm not saying that it has been infiltrated by well you know who, but I think we're going to have to drain the media. I'm going to appoint a head for the new Ministry of Truth to give the people a steady stream of entertaining prolefeed so they can be informed and not distracted by facts and ugly people." 

Just then Sean Spicer came in and the president had to go over a list of approved Duckspeak terms.   

Facecrime is an indication of thoughtcrime and will not be tolerated

I over heard the words thoughtcrime and how resting bitch face was to be made illegal as it was a sign of thoughtcrime. The Muslim refugee terrorists of the Madison Federal building bombing that the media didn't bother to report on all had resting bitch face and a couple were abortion loving women with university level education. 

This admin is sure rooting out the bad uns. 

In the corridor I saw one of Steve Bannon's people shadowing one of the cleaners. Can cleaners really be trusted not to steal things or maybe plant bugs? A wise safety precaution. 

Bannon brought over some of his people from Breitbart news to work for him. I don't know what right wing propaganda people would be doing at the White House and neither does Trump. He just signs whatever he's told to sign because he doesn't have time to be PC, detail orientated or to read stuff with werds. 

I'm not saying Trump is paranoid but he did bring in his own private security. Keith Schiller the former NYPD detective makes sure El Presidente's food isn't poisoned. Remember the time when Obama tried to poison Castro's milkshake? ... sad!

Also that Bannon fella is quite ambitious and one to keep an eye on ... the shit that fella pulls. When an informal meeting that the president isn't at ends in fist bumps, body slams and chants of USA USA! then maybe you shouldn't really approve a covert op in Yemen. 

I have previously reported on Prince's vision for controlling the Middle East 

I didn't see Erik Prince at the White House. I knew that he and his latest wife had been with Trump on the campaign trail and had heard he advises Trump on security issues. You may know Prince's sister, Betsey Devos. She has just been put in charge of education and is big on the 3 R's .. Rethink, Reeducate and Reprogram. 

 

I did meet the lovely Kellyanne Conway. It was past 9:30am which thus made her day drinking more acceptable. "At my age coffee isn't enough to get you through the day anymore" we laughed and flirted. She asked me if I had ever stuck it in an alternative hole  ... I had my phone on me so I was able to show her pictures that proved I have. 

She went on to tell me how all the men in her life have treated her badly and how she has become addicted to the taste of baby blood ... ach just chat. 

She had to go, she slipped her number into my pocket then said, "the news won't make itself up, laters sweetcheeks I have to go and misspeak the same thing on various outlets". 

It was time for me to leave. I walked past a room with a strong chemical smell. FUCK! does no one close doors around here?   Wow it is true about the small hands thing.

No wonder Melania prefers to stay in New York at the expense of the tax payer. I'm not saying they have a crap marriage but her young masseur Enrique says Mr Trump hasn't been a man to her for years ... allegedly, I've heard how she likes to sue bloggers. 

That post on how Melenia was an FSB honeytrap was obviously satire even though New York had been swarming with Russian spies like the 10 caught in 2010 ... *yep all made up*. Such a loving couple you'd think they were still on their honeymoon. 

   C'mon ya lazy fat slob I'm already halfway up the steps. 

* made up as in 100% real terms and conditions may apply * 

Just remember that behind every great reality TV star turned president even though he was vastly unqualified for the job is a great pile of shite that smells like stale piss and drink ... and it's not Old Knudsen for a change.

To make an omelet you have to break some eggs, to make a garden you have to destroy what is there and remake it how you want it ... you also have to kill off pests and weed it. 

Muslims, women, gheys, foreigners, libtards, political opposition and the media have to be whipped into shape ... not literally, they'll probably actually use those cool collapsible batons. 

Take away facts and truth and replace it with generic, vague, meaningless duckspeak. Teach the public and most of all the children how to goodthink. Distract the people with prolefeed such as an entertaining train-wreck so they never lift their faces away from their phones. Minitrue history and re-shape past events.

Upsub by accepting that these new leaders who want to give you freedom by taking away your rights and your voice because they really do know better. 

The future for the US and its new territory the UK or US lesser as it will be re-named will be Doubleplusgood. The destroyed EU run by Russia will be scary at first but after a few generations it will become the norm so nothing to fear. 

Obama and the media say that Putin is bad, they say the same about Assad so can we really believe that? 

          Only foreign 10's allowed in to the cuntry

Old Knudsen hasn't felt so hopeful since the 1930's. Just keep your head down, do as you are told and never speak out and everything will be fine. 

8 years of greatness and who knows? Maybe the rules will be changed and it will become 20 years.