Old Bitter Balls: Inside The White House

Steve Bannon's office

Old Knudsen was allowed special access into the White House. The ~~Bannon~~ Trump Administration trusts Old Knudsen to be fair and honest unlike the media. Old Knudsen served his cuntry and won medals so a war hero is to be trusted and given shit like houses and benefits an shit before anyone else because they chose to get a better but less patriotic job so fuck em.

A true hero

The new President of the United States of America is awesome. He's kept all his campaign promises except the ones he didn't keep and speaks his mind. A true man of the peeple. Who doesn't eat McDonald's and KFC alone on their privates jets? .... losers, that's who.

Obama wanted to protect the environment yet wanted to frack, no ungood doublespeak from Trump, just good old fashioned honesty that has yet to be appreciated. He doesn't care about the environment, he wants to spoil it, sell it and fuck it to death and boy is that refreshing. Build all the pipelines and take down those dangerous ugly whirly windmill things ... they kill the birds and give you cancer ya know.

Passing by the Oval office the preez himself was getting his finger extensions put on. He was going to give a speech to law enforcement and wanted to appear strong. I asked him how he thought his first few weeks on the Iron throne had gone so far.

"Terrific! Everyone loves me my approval ratings have been higher than any other president and I've probably most definitely have done more work that anyone ever. My inauguration had so many people at it that we couldn't fit them all in, the rest had to come the next day when I wasn't even there but the women they all love me. The Spics, the blacks and the Jews love me too but the dishonest media .... I'm not saying that it has been infiltrated by well you know who, but I think we're going to have to drain the media. I'm going to appoint a head for the new Ministry of Truth to give the people a steady stream of entertaining prolefeed so they can be informed and not distracted by facts and ugly people."

Just then Sean Spicer came in and the president had to go over a list of approved Duckspeak terms.

Facecrime is an indication of thoughtcrime and will not be tolerated

I over heard the words thoughtcrime and how resting bitch face was to be made illegal as it was a sign of thoughtcrime. The Muslim refugee terrorists of the Madison Federal building bombing that the media didn't bother to report on all had resting bitch face and a couple were abortion loving women with university level education.

This admin is sure rooting out the bad uns.

In the corridor I saw one of Steve Bannon's people shadowing one of the cleaners. Can cleaners really be trusted not to steal things or maybe plant bugs? A wise safety precaution.

Bannon brought over some of his people from Breitbart news to work for him. I don't know what right wing propaganda people would be doing at the White House and neither does Trump. He just signs whatever he's told to sign because he doesn't have time to be PC, detail orientated or to read stuff with werds.

I'm not saying Trump is paranoid but he did bring in his own private security. Keith Schiller the former NYPD detective makes sure El Presidente's food isn't poisoned. Remember the time when Obama tried to poison Castro's milkshake? ... sad!

Also that Bannon fella is quite ambitious and one to keep an eye on ... the shit that fella pulls. When an informal meeting that the president isn't at ends in fist bumps, body slams and chants of USA USA! then maybe you shouldn't really approve a covert op in Yemen.

I have previously reported on Prince's vision for controlling the Middle East

I didn't see Erik Prince at the White House. I knew that he and his latest wife had been with Trump on the campaign trail and had heard he advises Trump on security issues. You may know Prince's sister, Betsey Devos. She has just been put in charge of education and is big on the 3 R's .. Rethink, Reeducate and Reprogram.

I did meet the lovely Kellyanne Conway. It was past 9:30am which thus made her day drinking more acceptable. "At my age coffee isn't enough to get you through the day anymore" we laughed and flirted. She asked me if I had ever stuck it in an alternative hole ... I had my phone on me so I was able to show her pictures that proved I have.

She went on to tell me how all the men in her life have treated her badly and how she has become addicted to the taste of baby blood ... ach just chat.

She had to go, she slipped her number into my pocket then said, "the news won't make itself up, laters sweetcheeks I have to go and misspeak the same thing on various outlets".

It was time for me to leave. I walked past a room with a strong chemical smell. FUCK! does no one close doors around here? Wow it is true about the small hands thing.

No wonder Melania prefers to stay in New York at the expense of the tax payer. I'm not saying they have a crap marriage but her young masseur Enrique says Mr Trump hasn't been a man to her for years ... allegedly, I've heard how she likes to sue bloggers.

That post on how Melenia was an FSB honeytrap was obviously satire even though New York had been swarming with Russian spies like the 10 caught in 2010 ... *yep all made up*. Such a loving couple you'd think they were still on their honeymoon.

C'mon ya lazy fat slob I'm already halfway up the steps.

* made up as in 100% real terms and conditions may apply *

Just remember that behind every great reality TV star turned president even though he was vastly unqualified for the job is a great pile of shite that smells like stale piss and drink ... and it's not Old Knudsen for a change.

To make an omelet you have to break some eggs, to make a garden you have to destroy what is there and remake it how you want it ... you also have to kill off pests and weed it.

Muslims, women, gheys, foreigners, libtards, political opposition and the media have to be whipped into shape ... not literally, they'll probably actually use those cool collapsible batons.

Take away facts and truth and replace it with generic, vague, meaningless duckspeak. Teach the public and most of all the children how to goodthink. Distract the people with prolefeed such as an entertaining train-wreck so they never lift their faces away from their phones. Minitrue history and re-shape past events.

Upsub by accepting that these new leaders who want to give you freedom by taking away your rights and your voice because they really do know better.

The future for the US and its new territory the UK or US lesser as it will be re-named will be Doubleplusgood. The destroyed EU run by Russia will be scary at first but after a few generations it will become the norm so nothing to fear.

Obama and the media say that Putin is bad, they say the same about Assad so can we really believe that?