The Best Trump Lies to Believe In Right Now

As the dragnet of justice moves in on Trump and on those around him the random threats and accusations increase. Did Trump collude with the Russians? ... possibly ... probably not but we know he really wanted to.

He did say he had a bombshell to drop about Hillary while his lackeys were setting up the meetings. He certainly took advantage of these mysterious hackers helping his side.

I suspect that like Al Capone it won't be the Russian connection or a life of crime that gets him but some random boring detail instead.

Why would Russians want to discuss Russian adoptions with his son and Kushner? They wouldn't. We aren't being told the full truth about the meeting.

It could have a nefarious blackmailing Hillary angle, it could be to plant bugs or infect computers in Trump Tower with an infected USB drive that gives them remote access or it could just be a meeting with some dodgy ex-KGB types they can compromise or use as leverage against Trump with.  Don't do what we want we'll make shit up about the meeting.

It's all possible.

  Certainly guilty of having a hideous coat. No pics from Trump Tower I see. 

As Old Knudsen navigates Twitter trying to put his calm version of sanity out there he gets constant demands by random strangers that insist he justifies something that Hillary or Obama might have done. 

Why? ... Do I like Obama or something? If Hillary wasn't so fucken sexy I wouldn't give her the time of day.  Also they aren't in the news right now so what does it matter?  

Hillary met Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko. As you can see it was filmed and not in secret. The rumor being that she colluded with them to sabotage Trump.

Yeah nice try, do you even reason bro?

Ukraine can't keep the Russians out of their elections, computers and oh cuntry. They are poor and beleaguered, they aren't going to be able to help you at all.

It takes a lot of resources to hack and then carefully time the release of the info. Something a government with a lot of money would be able to do.

The Democrats while in power did help the Ukrainians by funding NGO's that fought against Russian influence. If Hillary did work with them then it would be against Russian influence ... oh are you saying the Trump campaign is Russian friendly?  

It's just dumb and hey she lost so this is about as valid and newsworthy as her kill lists, illnesses, pizza pedo rings and her membership in the NWO.

Wise the fuck up and go take yer meds!

This guy is terrible at golf! ... I'm sorry, I get nervous, I'll try harder, I'll be more loyal. 

Attorney General Jeff Sessions is becoming more popular cos Trump is raging against him.

Megyn Kelly, James Comey and John McCain all received praise when Trump attacked them. Kelly is still a bigoted bimbo asshole, Comey is still an ex-Republican with a mass of issues about reputation who did help get Trump elected and McCain is still that asshole that has been trying to sell off Injun land to mining companies.

Oh sure he's a war hero with brain cancer but he's still a total douchebag that learned nothing from going to war. Dropping bombs on a nation that barely have an air force, is that really brave?  

Sessions was supposed to be a Yes-Bigot. Trump likes loyalty especially when it comes to people who work with the law. He doesn't want people to just do their jobs, he wants favoritism towards him.

 
He says Sessions is weak on Hillary but it was Trump that said to leave her alone during his first interview for 60 minutes ... no wonder no one sane wants to work for him. The State Dept is missing all those deputy positions because he hasn't got anyone for them, no one knows what the fuck is going on in this admin ... except Putin, he knows it all.  

The Russian investigation worries Trump for some reason, there is definitely something to find but will it be about Russia? Probably vast loans made to him when US banks wouldn't lend to him.

 I would totally interrogate her

Real Estate is great for hiding funds. Anna Chapman one of the spies caught in New York in 2010 worked in Real Estate. Her business was in debt for years then suddenly she was employing 50 people and didn't have to declare the mysterious money.

Vnesheconombank (VEB) the Russian government-owned development bank certainly had talks with the Trumps/Kushners. 

Sex offender Bill O'Reilly Tweeted something dumb about how Jared Kushner couldn't possibly collude with Russia because he looks too young and fresh faced ... looking for a job Bill? Kushner only sounds like a child when he speaks but he's all man.

Trump calls his son Don Jr a boy or a kid. Donnie Jr is a 39 year-old elephant killing adult. Cut the shit they are adults and know what they've done. The only reason Junior came clean with his e-mails and meetings with ex KGB types is because they keep getting caught out and that hasn't worked so bluffing it out and claiming incompetence helps you avoid jail.

I didn't know the meeting was about Russia cos I didn't read all of the e-mail ... the one titled RE: Russia.

It's gonna be terrific, beautiful, the biggest poo ever! 

Blame shift and gas light .... Hillary, Obama, Democrats, CNN, Joe in the fucken morning. Never Putin or Trump's fault.

The media is so focused on Russia because shit actually happened and the current Commander in Chief doesn't seem to be taking it seriously.

Trump asks his lawyers about pardoning ... his lawyer's spokesperson resigns, probably with a facepalm.

Obama never needed lawyers. Trump has to sign a bill or not sign it about more sanctions on Russia. If he signs he's fucked over Putin and Exxon, which is probably why Tillerson wants to leave now. If he doesn't sign then that may be the thing that makes the GOP finally revolt as it shows that Trump loves Putin's cock.

Both ideas have been floated. The new guy Scaramucci gets the truth and dawn of the dead Sanders gets undermined once she makes a statement as Trump is ready to retire her too like he did with Spicer.

Trump has his aircraft carrier send off's, his Hitler Youth Scout jamborees and ego validation rallies but his time is coming. He'll blanket pardon his family and friends if it looks like they'll get caught with something and when he resigns or gets impeached President Pence will pardon him like Ford did with Nixon.

The world isn't standing around and waiting for something to give. While the US bickers, Russia continues to hack and phish and to set up a nearby observation points in Venezuela, North Korea will launch whatever it wants, Iran will take hostages and head off boats in the Straits of Hormuz and China ... they'll make all the money while taking over the South China sea one rock at a time.

Iran and China have already been engaging in probing, that's seeing what you can get away without starting a war. This activity happens in all the disputed territories that the US always seems to be in.

A bickering US, a weak UK government and a divided Europe. All of the rival nations smelling our weakness like a shark smells blood.  

Trump's Circle Jerk

Trump got his cabinet together to give him a good report of how things were going or how they thought he'd want them to be going. In his boring halting monotone voice he read from his notes the words, millions, trillions, great, very good and of course he complained about the Democrats for being obstructionists even though he hasn't even nominated very many people for them to obstruct.

Everything else had to be good news. Even his remarks about how many jobs created was good despite the figures being lower than they have been for months. He mentioned vague apprenticeships in which he'd have people trained to do manual work as that was very important so he has heard.

Perhaps Ivanka mentioned how hard the children in her Chinese clothes factories work.     

Instead of just getting reports he went round the table for each person to awkwardly gush about him and to tell him how great everything was.

Nope, sorry Donald # 2 but something else grabbed his attention, he probably missed that whole thing.

Operation Covfefe was a sucess ... as you all know it wasn't a late night typo it was obviously a code for people in the know. No, not the Russians but yeah I bet they know ALL about it. 

Betsy helping to shape the Trump voter of the future.

Dominant males and those who have received medals from Putin and yet haven't been considered a compromise risk like Tillerson just has to say the basic shit. 

Former Marines who don't take shit like General Mattis also don't have to gush about the President. Army General McMaster is so expendable that Mattis makes him sit behind him at an open window so he'd be the one to get shot by a sniper .... because he can and because he thinks it's funny.

  
Yeah, what the Asian MILF said, so good looking it hurts my eyes.

John Kelly may be a former US Marine but he is certainly no Mad Dog, more like an HR. He just follows his orders like a good little soldier.  

Hope Hicks standing in the background gave a great review of Trump recently. "He has a magnetic personality and exudes positive energy, which is infectious to those around him. 

He has an unparalleled ability to communicate with people, whether he is speaking to a room of three or an arena of 30,000. 

 I 'hope' you will tell me more in private Hope

He has built great relationships throughout his life and treats everyone with respect. 

He is brilliant with a great sense of humor . . . and an amazing ability to make people feel special and aspire to be more than even they thought possible."

Her statement has led to calls for random drug testing in the White House. I wonder what hidden talents the former model with no PR skills has to have landed this job.  

Carson whose motto for the operating theater is 'leave them wanting more' took time to dazzle the crowd with his wit.

Kellyanne smiling and nodding in resentment at the back

No time to run around the country for validation rallies Trump has had to get his 3 kids to do interviews on Fox and to have this meeting to remind people how great he is. 

I don't remember Obama or even Bush having to do this. 

Despite protest rallies and his travel ban getting defeated in court once again the president wants you to know that everything is going great and ahead of schedule, so great they didn't even bother with a schedule that would only slow things down. 

The wall fence partition border barrier is almost complete ... or rather the setting up for a meeting potentially in the near future to discuss it is almost complete.  And ahead of schedule!

A new coal mine was just opened in Pennsylvania and will be shipping coal to American homes whether they want it or not .... as Europe and India that buys US coal steadily moves to renewable sources of energy and or gas. Coal exports have been down 30% with many coal burning plants being closed. China has stopped buying North Korean coal at the moment but that isn't enough to save the US coal industry. 

There is nothing more American than living in denial, black lung and air pollution. Tremendous!