Oregon Militia Want Bags Full Of Dicks

Dildos and dildoes are both correct ... yet so very wrong.

Those brave patriots in Oregon who are defending your right to feed your cattle, to mine and cut down trees on public land that are being wasted for things like conserving wildlife are getting bored.

One member was arrested for shopping for snacks using a stolen Federal vehicle and the others are spending their time destroying security cameras at the wildlife sanctuary .... in case "The Man" uses them to spy on what they may be doing to each other etc.

It's difficult to keep discipline in an army when there is no fighting to do so Jon 'purdy mouth' Ritzheimer has stepped up as morale officer. After making a video complaining about people sending them dildoes and a bag of dicks the militia have done a U- turn and now want more plastic cock.

Ritzheimer shows you in his latest video what type the guys all go for. He also thanks Cards Against Humanity creator Max Temkin for the 55 gallon tube of passion lube.

Because of medical conditions some of the militia have he has asked for strap on's and if anyone with money to burn is watching he'd like the AssMaster 3000, the one with the upgraded triple action and the 'pounder' handle, not the easy glide version as that is prone to jamming ..... so he's heard.

So think about those lonely bored men up there fighting for your rights in an ungrateful town that doesn't want them for a cause that just seems like sour grapes and something that suits them but is really for all Americans because who doesn't like to chop down trees? 

Cock haters gonna hate.

The homeless will still be homeless tomorrow but this is something YOU can fix.
      

Sometimes A Clock Is Just A Clock

His t-shirt says NASA which means .. Nnihilate America Says Allah ... maybe. 

Ahmed Mohamed a 14 year-old from Texas brought into school a home made clock to impress his teacher. He was told to keep it in his back pack and this wasn't a problem until it started beeping. Texans freak out when they hear beeping, they get the urge to shoot it. In fact they are like that with most things. 

Ahmed was taken out of class and handcuffed. There has been a backlash because many people including Obama, Mark Zuckerberg and those NASA scientists types were pissed off because imagination was rewarded with handcuffs .... well it is Texas. 

   

If you watch Mission Impossible or 24 you'll know that this is exactly what a bomb should look like. If you don't get fantasy confused with reality you'll see it's a circuit board and a large time display without any type of explosives. 

When Old Knudsen makes bombs he ensures the time display is that big so people with poor eyesight can see the count down, it's health and safety rules. 

People are comparing the story to other cases claiming that it's about being overly political correct or even racist against white people, these are the same white people who remain quiet when countless black people get shot by police. 

The 7 year-old John Welch with ADHD was aiming for a mountain but his pop tart became more gun like. His teacher said he was pointing it and going bang bang. Do you know anything about boy childs? They can turn anything into a gun. Look, a stick "bang bang" no, it's a machine gun, "bababababa" then it becomes a club to smash things with. Welch got suspended and his pop tart permit revoked. 

There was another 13 year-old boy who faces second-degree assault when he inappropriately kissed a 14 year-old girl on a dare. Kids do stupid things but they should know that forcing a kiss, or anything else onto somebody is wrong. 

Neither of these two kids got an invite to the White House so it must be racism in favour of Muslims cos Obama being a Muslim and all .... according to Trump and his legions of doom. 

I'm sure there are plenty of window lickers that don't get invited to the White House, leave race and religion out of it and focus on the actions. 

Ahmed's father Mohamed Elhassan Mohamed, who is originally from Sudan, says his son fixes everything around the house like phones and computers. He'll be transferring schools soon so fuck you MacArthur High School.  

MacArthur as you know was the crazy ass General who wanted to nuke China during the Korean war. He was reassigned for the sake of world peace.  

Yes this was no doubt racial profiling and stereotyping, if they really thought it was a bomb then why leave it half the day and not evacuate the school? Kids do stupid things but in this case it's the adults being the window lickers. 

Ingenuity should not be rewarded with a slap down, it's a pity that some people can't see a brown Muslim kid in any sort of positive light without trying to tear him down ... c'mon white kids, enough with the sexual assaults and breakfast guns, do something intelligent. 

Bristol Palin, the spokesperson for Unplanned parenthood complained that Obama was stoking racial tensions and should stay out of it. Again with people going on about race but really meaning religion. 

They are being sectarian, not racist ya stupid plebs though being brown is pretty handy for racists too. Religion has always been a handy excuse to commit atrocities.    

If you have a problem with Ahmed Mohamed it isn't because he's brown, the US is full of brown people. To racists, brown and Asian people are way more acceptable than black folk ... that is why it's black lives matter even though blacks are only 13% of the population yet still seem to get shot and jailed the most. Strange that.

You have a problem with his name and where his father is from and of course religion ... all the same things Obama has and still has to face today, is it any wonder he invited Ahmed. The cunts maybe against you but you too can push past their prejudices and lies and become president.  

If you wish to get outraged then be outraged at all the sectarianism in Texas that led to this event. Did single mom and mother to be abstinence champion Bristol Palin speak out against the draw Muhammad competitions? ... no I don't believe she did, that was pure shit stirring. Other places too, there are still Sikhs such as Inderjit Singh Mukker getting beat up while getting called a terrorist. 

Ahmed was interrogated by police without a lawyer and though he was apologized too by the school he still got suspended so that blows the whole, 'he got invited to the White House while others got punished' theory. 

   

Quit panicking about Muslims under the bed ya cowards. Think about yer common ground. Muslims believe all that crazy ass shit that Christians do and have the same hates and prejudices, there are also some good Christians, Jews and Muslims who embrace reason and empathy though are obviously still pretty gullible when it comes to faith but that has more to do with insecurity and brainwashing yourself than actually believing. 

Ahmed speaks English (murican) better than many (Trump) he has embraced Western culture fully and hopes to go to MIT. He is all the things that tea-bagging muricans insist that immigrants should do and more. He may be the head of NASA some day or maybe president so get over yer issues and be more nice to him and all the others who are not terrorists.     

 

The People Who Attend Parades Don't Even Like Them

A study done by the Peace in our time foundation has shown that the people who attend Loyalist and Republican parades in Northern Ireland don't even like them but go out of spite and because they don't know any better and don't believe that they deserve any better.

Billy from the Shankill said, "I don't even like the music, I'm more into ambient techno" he took a swig from his bottle of Buckfast and continued, "I just go cos it's what we've always done and it supports our side, the costumes look silly as fuck but people think I'm hard cos I pretend to like it all and it says fuck you to the Fenians which is the most important part of our culture" He finished by draining his bottle, throwing at the police and yelling "YEEEOOOHHH!"

Sean from the Falls said, "I don't even like the music, I'm more into ambient techno" he took a swig from his bottle of Buckfast and continued, "I just go cos it's what we've always done and it supports our side, the costumes look silly as fuck but people think I'm hard cos I pretend to like it all and it says fuck you to the Huns which is the most important part of our culture" He finished by draining his bottle, throwing at the police and yelling "YEEEOOOHHH!"


Two communities with so much in common but too full of hate and ignorance to figure it out. Would an Ebola pandemic in Northern Ireland really be a bad thing?

The Conspiracy Archives

So yeah there is so much butt hurt online these days. Every paranoid teenager with a Facebook page freaking out because you have a differing opinion than them.

One such page called 'The Conspiracy Archives' which has 120 thousand likes but of course never that many commenting or liking each post.... Must be fake accounts and government lurkers.

Old Knudsen made some innocuous comments, the kind that other crazy pages like Willie Fraser would ban you for, ones that question the reality of the situation. I thought everything was cool, they must get people that don't believe half their crazy shit all the time right?

Then I got a comment from the administrator saying how I needed to do some research because everything I've ever said on the page has been wrong and that they were sick of it.


Wow, imagine that, I've been wrong my whole life and this person who is right just um put me right.

Then I agreed with someone else who totally tore them a new one and called them on their bullshit and the next day I wasn't able to make comments anymore FUCKING NAZI GERMANY!!!!!

I wasn't trolling yet my freedom of speech was taken away, I feel so violated. Luckily I enjoy being violated.

 Violate this!

So I went on another account and commented and that was me done. Their page isn't interesting enough to stay on if I can't comment and call bullshit. My life doesn't revolve around them and yes I was surprised that my comments got singled out and even remembered ..... I feel so special cos I never gave them a second thought until now. 

So to update my knowledge, 9/11 was an inside job because jet fuel cannot melt steel beams. I was sure that it can turn the beams and rivets to putty which would then weaken the structure and gravity would do the rest but that doesn't fit so I must be wrong.

Building 7 at the World trade center was dodgy though and I find it hard to believe that could collapse due to minimum damage and office fires, I'd blame that one on the likes of Cheney as the Bush admin were not smart enough to perpetrate 9/11 but they were smart enough to make it work for them..... but of course I'm wrong.

I thought that fluoride in the drinking water at low controlled doses was beneficial ... of course at high doses like most other things it's harmful. Fluoride is found naturally in water and in parts of the world can be found at dangerous concentrates. Some governments add it to water to prevent tooth decay.

According to the Conspiracy Archives it can be used for anything from mind control, giving you cancer and mental retardation and depending on what day of the week it is it may even cause shooting sprees.

Well that's me schooled. Except that Northern Ireland doesn't have fluoride added to the water and there is a load of cancer about, mental retardation or just a lot of very thick people and ready to fight and riot at a moments notice. They'd shoot you if they had the guns.

Ach I must be just wrong. What is the point to having such insight, wisdom and experience if I don't get it right? .... imagine a frowny face here cos I just can't be arsed to do one. Me confidence is all gone.

Don't vaccinate yer kids because they put mercury into the vaccines that causes autism ... since 2001 all vaccines for under 6 year-olds have been thimerosal free... Actually the MMR and IPV Vaccines have never contained thimerosal but you don't want facts getting in the way of a good scare. The MMR etc are live virus' and thimerosal would like kill it.  

Some flu jabs may contain trace amounts but since the flu jab is well dodgy and doesn't always werk thanks to evolution Old Knudsen doesn't do that one. FUCK YER FLU JAB!

The page admin did not like me asking why this is still an issue if they don't add it anymore and put up links that probably said they did .... no doubt written by Jim Carey MD but I'm fed up with nutters using sites that look like real news or science sites that talk jargon and whose links are mostly dead or don't go where they say they go to. 
READ ALL ABOUT HOW VACCINES CAUSE AUTISM IN THE LANCET .... and it gives you their subscription page, yeah nice try. 

Of course the FDA, CDC and WHO websites are all lies so you can't go by what they say. 

So vaccines cause autism even though there is no proof but a discredited scientist looking to get published said so and parents who only noticed their kids were autistic when they started speaking said so ... Got it.

If Old Knudsen had a dollar for everytime he is wrong (according to the virgin teenager stoner admin of this page) he'd be rich bitches, at least $5.

 Bob Marley smoked marijuana ... now he's dead. 

I didn't even get into the whole, 'marijuana cures everything' crap, of course stoners are going to say this.

I loved the recent story of a vet with PTSD was arrested for growing pot because his state hadn't legalised it. He had been to Callyfornia and had weed there and so wanted some .... for his health of course so he grew 6 plants.

Maybe he shouldn't have chased his wife with a kitchen knife forcing her to call the cops. PTSD doesn't make you stupid and doesn't make you break laws but some stupid law breakers may have PTSD. He'll get better healthcare in prison anyways.      

Yes, this page is that dumb.

Anti-depressants makes you kill people .... I've been on so many different types until I found one that suited me and throughout those years I had never gone on any killing sprees. Hobos hunts are different, that's sport and we eat what we kill. 

The problem is when people aren't on them or are doing well and think they no longer need to be on them and stop taking them. Then you have real health issues like Schizotypal personality disorder that James Holmes has and that could lead to Schizophrenia, Cho may have had schizophrenia, Jared Loughner has been diagnosed as a paranoid Schizophrenic and  Adam Lanza was Autistic and we don't know what else because his mom home schooled him and had him avoid getting healthcare help. 

It's easy to pick a common denominator and decide that is the reason if you can't see the whole picture. They are all males under 30 with mental health issues and easy access to guns but no, it's the anti-depressants, silly me. 

It is funny, until you find out what they actually think.

Why do I go on such pages? Why do I friend nutters? .... Life is an experience and the very odd time you might be pleasantly surprised. Not this time though.

This page is like a nerd you meet at a party and they say something really whacky and far out there that you laugh, then you realise that they aren't laughing and that it wasn't a joke. You are stunned but can't say anything because yer brain is stuck doing double takes. 

When the page called anyone who joined the military murderers I knew that this was a special type of asshole whose opinion mattered nout. 

You know what? On the very remote off chance that Old Knudsen has been wrong about anything well if this is right then I really don't mind being wrong. I'll be one of the sleeping sheeple rather than the anxiety ridden paranoid wuss who is overly sensitive to criticism, when you keep repeating, "this is not debatable" that doesn't mean yer right, that means you can't see that you may be wrong.

And that my lad is not debatable.

  

Join The UDA

Butt fuck Carrickfergus is the town where the UDA have decided to start their aggressive (always aggressive) recruiting campaign.
The Loyalist paramilitary group want to change their image from a sectarian drug dealing criminal gang into a successful sectarian drug dealing criminal gang so they are putting up murals in Loyalist areas to make sure that the young people there know that there are real opportunities where they can travel and form lasting friendships in a fulfilling part-time job .... Hope the word job doesn't scare anyone away, they will be paid in smuggled cigarettes if paid at all.

Of course the travel is usually in stolen cars and the friendships are all the prison ghey you can eat. Seriously you'd have to have been raised on a diet of lead paint to think that joining any paramilitary criminal gang was a good idea. So tough yet none of them join the 'actual' military, marching in a band with a costume on giving everyone dirty looks only highlights yer insecurities that you try so hard to mask ... I just want to hug yous, did I say hug? I meant sterilize or neuter.    

I hope they are able to get better artists cos that is shite. Put up not far from a Primary school they are obviously going the way of Hamas and Al Qaeda who brainwash the children into hating at an early age.
Carrickfergus is known as the Florida of the north as it is full of young criminals and old people waiting to die. It's the place you don't notice on the way to Larne to get the ferry the fuck out of here.  

Protestants in the Republic of Ireland actually do pretty well for themselves on average and have a higher standard of living (and certainly education) than those up north ... hardly on their knees, this isn't prison, get off yer knees and wipe yer chin. 

Better to live on benefits than have to werk .... join the UDA ....  if yer Ma will let ya.


We don't want no UDA, we say no to prison ghey!   

Sarah Palin Backs Hillary Clinton For White House Run

In a surprise move, Sarah Palin the former governor of Alaska and failed 2008 Republican Vice Presidential running mate has come out and has given her support for Hillary Clinton to run for President in 2016. She held high her 'I'm ready for Hillary' car magnet which then went onto raise $25,000 in sales for the Hillary cause .... no shit, that happened.

"Y'all need a woman running the country and if it can't be me then it might as well be Hillary, she has more than enough balls to fill Obamer's shoes."

Obviously using old timey metaphors and back woods wisdom there. Davey Crockett could allegedly fill a pair of cowboy boots with his balls which were described as, 'being as smooth as pebbles on a beach.'

Palin has given up on the White House ever since her Twitter followers blasted her for letting her son stand on their dog to reach the kitchen counter. She said that the dog didn't mind it but she also used that line of reasoning for hunting deer, suggesting that the deer might enjoy a bullet between the eyes.

You'd think that politicians would learn, never pick up anything that the Internet can use against you. 

Why I Dislike Russell Brand

His looks, his annoying voice, his smug moral superiority, he's looks like a walking STD and someone who would betray Jesus to the Romans ..... you know the sort.


He became famous for making lewd comments on Andrew Sach's (the waiter from Faulty Towers) answering machine during a phone call on a radio show, he also had a small role in a movie playing an arsehole (which he did very well) and he married Katy Perry which really got his name out there.

Yes he used to be a junkie, he never lets us forget that, mostly because he still looks like one but if you say that he'll go all serious and say, 'drug addict is a serious issue and I don't appreciate glib comments' or some such crap.

    Forgetting Sarah Marshall with Veronica Mars.

A while back he made the news by telling people not to vote in elections as a way to opt out of this crooked system. That was his answer to the world's problems. When pressed he said that he had never voted and doesn't have a plan as to what we can replace the system with.

I'm surprised he didn't suggest communism, he mentions socialism but really describes communism like many do. Left wing twats always think communism is a good idea even though it has been a complete failure in Russia and China.
Everyone should be equal man .... but what about the leaders we still need leaders?  ..... I can't hear you man over the sound of my awesome smugness.    

He says that because he came from an under served social underclass he had good reason to be a drug addict and not to vote. Funny that many other people don't feel that need and do vote. Taking drugs and not voting are choices. 

Brand is getting stuck into Sean Hannity on Fox News, the pair of them are trading barbs on the Internet. Sean comments on the telly and Brand makes a Youtube. 

Why? .... Why not go doon to a care home and match wits with some retards instead? When you argue with a fool you become one. Seeing two fools argue is like watching two blokes without arms box each other. 

Brand with his toothy Essex accent likes to appear intellectual, he had about 5 pseudo intellectual words he uses over and over to make half a point, he likes to call things "provocative"  or voting is a "preexisting  paradigm which is quite narrow and only serves a few people" and "economic disparity" is one of his favourites. Anyone who uses the word, "facilitate" is a tosser.

He speaks like a pompous university student trying to impress his friends and separate himself from the pleb on the street but Brand insists he is one of the people.  

On his Youtube channel telling you the trews, which I believe is news but true... oh please.  

Now Mr Brand is telling people to boycott Israel. It isn't enough to sympathise with Hamas and how they are the poor under dog victims, he now has to attack Israel. Of course just like his love for Hamas he doesn't bother with details.
Hamas fire rockets from civilian areas and fight near refugee shelters FACT! journalists have quietly mentioned it.
Oh no it's Israel are killing children and Hamas just want peace .... la la la I don't want to hear how things really are because it doesn't suit my trendy activist image.

He has put a call out for a petition ..... seriously? He wants to stop companies from investing in Israel so they can't afford to make war ... Quick fact Mr Brand, the US gives $3 billion a year to Israel, oh that's right you don't do facts. They are in a recession but still give the money out .... lets boycott appearing in American movies.  

         Uncle Sam surfing porn.

For an example of his boycott he uses Barclays bank , because the name is rhyming slang for wank, Barclays bank - wank ..... that's in case you had forgotten that he's a comedian, I know I did.

 

He does a bit slagging off their commercial which uses Uncle Sam who is old and therefore can't use a computer, he only wants to e-mail his nephew who he hasn't seen in 3 years .... shouldn't have touched him up then ya old perv.
Barclays will help you get online and you can search for all those half dressed weemen or ghey porn, of course you have to open an account and sell yer soul. 

 

If you put the hurt onto Barclays then they will stop investing in companies like Elbit, which makes the drones that bomb Gaza. I'm sure their drones bomb other places too like the ones that rescued the Yazidis in Iraq. 

Brand says, "The message they give us is the exact opposite of the reality, they're acting like they're part of our community."

Oh no the real world is horrible, those people employed to make drones should quit and make rainbows instead and commercials shouldn't lie.

Old people shouldn't be on the Interwebs anyway, they should be walking around, getting in people's way and waiting to die ..... except for Old Knudsen who knows what he's talking about.  

Another fact Mr Brand, Barclays can't afford to pick and choose who to invest in, they have been closing branches all over the world in order to survive as a business . How could you fail to notice this?   Oh that's right, you don't do facts, you have the understanding of a child. 

If you don't make bombs and guns then people won't get killed ..... aye the billions already made will vanish and IS won't take advantage of this and kill us all with the stuff they collect in battle.

The world is not a perfect place, that's for sure, people die .... we will all die someday, that is nature. Bad guys will use the weaknesses of the innocent to get power and we need to kill the bad guys ... yes we become like them for a time but stop ourselves when the job is done, there is no place for naivety, that shit will get you killed.  

Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one ... except Uncle Sam who poops into a bag .. bless him.

If you cut Russell Brand he doesn't bleed, instead he oozes out a thick black syrup of enriched gonorrhea. I dislike him and his half baked opinions.  

 

God Hates Zonies

The Gastonguay family are Christians who live in Arizona. You just know that this is going somewhere crazy don't you?

 Thank you for serving, now burn in hell fag boy.

Not liking the way the US was heading, allowing ghey marriage and allowing abortions Sean and Hannah decided to jump in a small boat from San Diego and headed for the island nation of Kiribati.

They complained at having to pay taxes for abortions but didn't mention paying for the wars, thats Christians for ya. 

Kiribati is way the fuck doon near Australia, 2000 miles away from it, also Kiribati has been affected by climate change and rising sea levels and so are moving nearly all of the population to Fiji where they bought some land .... yeah great plan so far.

 Some people are just too dumb to be allowed to have children.

So with their 3 year-old and 6 month old and Sean Gastonguay's father they set sail in a leap of faith to see where God led them. After two months they hit some storms, took some damage and got low on supplies. Hannah Gastonguay 26 said, "didn't feel like we were going to die or anything. We believed God would see us through."  

Fucking morons! after 91 days at sea they were picked up by a Venezuelan ship for about five days before transferring to the Japanese cargo ship and ended up in Chile. The US embassy in Chile flew them home ..... that shit ain't for free, embassies itemize everything they spend on you and give you a large bill... enjoy. 

Hannah Gastonguay said the family will,  "go back to Arizona" and "come up with a new plan." what about one with a rocket ship aimed in the direction of Mars, I'm sure God will help you out again.

Oh oh what about going to Russia, they don't like the gheys there and Russians are fucking nutters too.
   

Calling A SPAD a SPAD

 Mary McArdle a SPAD who is losing her job.

Old Knudsen often trades barbs with lesser mortals because they dare enter his Interweb space and get on as if they know what they are talking about. The Facebook page Flipside kindly posted my United Ireland rant and some nationalist types suggested that Old Knudsen was incorrect and even name called .... did Old Knudsen call any of these fuckwits names? he may have said that terrorists and their supporters were scum but I don't think he said, "listen Dom, yer a fucking stupid moron who is like a fly beating against a pane of glass, you just don't get it douchebag."

I did refer to myself as a Unionist, thats because I agree that Northern Ireland is better off being a part of the UK . When Shinners here the word 'Unionist' they can't go any further, logic and reason leaves the building. The discussion was about SPADs, the governmental advisers hired from a pool of ex convicted terrorists who kept their mouths shut during the Troubles and this was their reward, a nice cushy job.  Sinn Fein is the biggest offender with the SPADs and so many Shinners just see it as an attack... which it is but still, it's morally wrong.  

One person did have sense to speak:

"Why the fuck are we paying 90k for someone who's only qualification was being so shit at terrorism that they got caught or their only qualification is who daddy knows?" If the excuse is that it keeps Chucks in line with the peace process, then how about using the money to fund decent scholarships or apprenticeships in under privileged areas instead.?"

Old Knudsen compared the outrage of hiring SPADs to hiring serial killers like Rose West or the Moors murderers. Just rubbing the faces of the victims in it.

Moron one said:  
Your mention of Rosemary West in the context of this issue makes you sound like an absolute plonker.

I know you are but what am I? .... I am a plonker with a blog thats what. 

Moron two said: 
Wow Soren you compare Rosemary West to the friends, neighbours and colleagues that a substantial number of us gave our support to for many years......what a stupid,stupid,stupid thing to say.

So because you and others support them and are related to them I'm the one saying stupid things? The page you are commenting on does not support these people .... oh I know that dissidents infect it from time to time but what can you do?

Lets try to think here for a moment, many people were related to and supported the Shankill butchers, that abducted and hacked to bits and shot 19 Catholics. These guys were indeed serial killers wrapped up in sectarianism. They would make great SPADs wouldn't they? ... ohhh just think about the Sinn Fein outrage.

These guys killed Fenians in the same manner as drummer Lee Ribgy was killed by the Muslim dudes. 

So you support your own side when they brutally kill .... but you don't like it when the Prods do it?

Old Knudsen is unbiased, he thinks the Taigs and the Hun terrorists are as bad as each other, they chose to kill people who were no threat to them and who were unarmed, the fact that you chose to support those killers merely means that yer as big a cock sucker as they are.
   

When Old Knudsen was recently watching a documentary about the Shankill butchers he glanced to the side and saw Fred and Rose West just above an IRA video.  It's almost as if normal people without a bigoted agenda view them both as murdering scum.

Seeing this video ranked with the IRA was obviously a sign from Gog. There was indeed more stupidity and name calling from these rocket surgeons but it makes Old Knudsen said that people can be this dumb.
  

Not My Caption

But it says it all...........

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