A Global Melting Pot

The World Economic Forum (WEF) have issued a report showing 140 of the the world's friendliest (to foreign visitors) cuntries that give the best welcome. Is the WEF getting kick backs from these places or what?

Iceland got the number one spot. Iceland was the place that doubled for a post apocalyptic landscape in the movie Oblivion ..... just sayin like. Maybe they are ultra friendly to tourists to make up for feeding them eyeballs and shark that has been pissed on and because they live in a post apocalyptic landscape.
Ireland got the number 9 spot, that didn't include Northern Ireland of course, cos we're all angry boring cunts like the rest of the UK which is at  # 55.
Aye the Irish are a friendly lot when they aren't blowing you up, and ya know why they are so friendly? cos they are always drunk .... there I said it. 

                                                        America, may contain nuts.
America got # 102 which is strange as the Americans are so friendly and love sharing with the rest of the world. Just ask Hakimullah Mehsud who recently had 2 Hellfire missiles shared with him, oh ya can't cos hes dead ...... lol.  
When Americans invade yer cuntry to share their freedom with you they usually shot or bomb their own soldiers rather than kill the enemy, how friendly is that?

Mexico looks like it's pretty friendly , did ya see that latest beheading video? not really very friendly. 

Mali got #14, oh yes, they are sooo friendly to foreigners, just ask the two journalists who were recently kidnapped and shot dead there.

Rwanda at 21? The movie Hotel Rwanda wasn't a family friendly event like Hotel for dogs, there are no happy endings in Rwanda.

Burkina Faso got #10 .... where? it's in Africa just beside Mali. Aye I do think the WEF are making up cuntries cos they were definitely drunk or high when they made this list up. 

 

Thailand at #13, yes the Thai people are very friendly which is why the likes of Gary Glitter enjoyed that place so much. 

If you want the least friendliest cuntries then try Mongolia at # 131, those Mongoes are merciless.  

No shit all those Slav cuntries were low doon on the friendliness of foreigners, they still put rocks in the mouths of dead people so they don't come back as sparkly vampires plus they think that dirt is a food group.

Pakistan and Iran aren't too friendly either ..... really?

Russia also hates foreigners .... and gheys and anyone that steps out of line and the ethnics and the puppies ...... why is the world so angry?

Fair play to the Russians, they did take in Edward Snowden, of course that was mostly to piss off the US. Oh and you know the way Snowden wanted to go to Venezuela and how Julian Assange thinks that Sweden and the US are soo repressive but thinks that fascist Venezuela is so great? Well Venezuela came 139 th in the list, thats one above the last.

At # 140 the very worst cuntry in the world at being friendly according to the WEF is Bolivia, just ask Butch and Sundance. 
The WEF did add that compared to Bolivia Northern Ireland isn't all that bad.

This is our happy face.

Iceland Exports Ash

Jack looks more worried than usual. He knows the island needs him but hes fucked if hes gonna eat pished on sheep eye balls or horse dumplings.


Iceland a nation of 320,000 people and a land of contradiction no maybe it isn't. Once invaded by the British then passed round to the Yanks like the village bike they people are a happy lot prone to knitting , alcoholism and axe throwing . An interesting diet of sheep arse lips and rotten fish has the average Icelander living to the ripe old age of 58 and when an Icelander dies all of the 320,000 people who are all related cum out to see his longboat sail out in a blaze of flames.

Speaking of flames the volcano under the Eyjafjallajokull glacier has erupted causing melting ice and smegma to gush doon and flood lowland areas. Hundreds of people and sheep have been evacuated . The other concern is the Katla volcano under the vast Myrdalsjokull ice cap which might blow too.

If fact Old Knudsen believes it will since that eruption with disrupt air traffic between Europe and North America.
Anything that can go wrong with me getting to my homeland will happen, hey Jesus had it tough too ................. not that I'm saying Old Knudsen is Jesus, I'm no stupid long haired sandal wearing hippy.
If someone smacks you on the cheek you don't turn the other one you put yer guard up and knock 10 shades of shit out of them, if you let folk push you around you'll end up listening to the voices in yer head and get tortured to death.

Pall Einarsson, a geophysicist at the University of Iceland, said "Hertigertum hiddle fergun snatsum." Well said sir.

I hope my Northern Muse peep is faring her economy and island collapsing, it really does soon like Ireland just throw in some pedos .............. into the volcano I mean. Keep an eye on the horizon for longboats just in case 320,000 vikings have to go somewhere.

Icelandic bastards!!!!!!!!!

Kerry Katona the former singer of Atomic Kitten and now current train wreck has been fired by Iceland.

She was first blasted by the public for smoking and drinking while pregnant with the unholy sprogs of man hoor Brian McFadden the singer/poser of Irish pop group (and Manuel's fav) Westlife.

They have long since split up and has wobbled around her life popping out kids and having them held hostage by burglars etc.

Iceland ignored all the drunken/high TV appearances because she is a normal mother trying to cope with the pressures of life and oh she got her self declared Bi-polar as all the murderers and teachers that have sex with pupils do so its not her fault right?

The latest Kerry bi-polar moment is a film of her snorting cocaine through a $20 note while her two daughters were in the hoose. Its tough being a normal mother damn it try to understand.

Brian pushed the lap dancer off his lap in disgust and is trying to get his kids . Iceland has
dumped her from her £250,000-a-year Iceland deal. Not good news for someone was made bankrupt at a High Court hearing after failing to pay off a £417,000 slut tax bill.

Old Knudsen will defend the poor gurl because its not her fault she is a chavette its societies and her parents fault oh and it may be my fault too as I dealed to her once, 'Two cokes and a pack of smokes.'

And Damn you Iceland with yer thermally heated water and rotten fish eating ways, Old Knudsen will get a few lads together and destroy yer pretend cuntry for this outrage.

You and yer gnomes will be crushed to tiny parts and cast into the cold unforgiving sea none of yer pagan gods with their wee hammers can save you now.







Old Knudsen has since learned it is the grocery chain stores Iceland and not the Cuntry. He apologises for any violent backlash and will now boycott Iceland until Kerry is restored as the coke snorting face of Iceland.

Ice Ice Babby

Me preparing dinner.

During the week I set out as part of a British team to trek to the North Pole. Bear Grylls was too ascared and had scheduling clashes or so he says so they needed someone pretty tough to take his place, that someone ........................... died when they slipped in the bath so they called on me.

Renowned Arctic explorer Pen Hadow lead the team, we were dropped onto the ice by plane. It would have been nice if the plane had landed but the pilot said it looked a bit slippery.

668 miles north of Canada, I did think about dropping in on my blogging chums that live in America lite but to be honest Canadians are a little creepy in their not Yank, not Brit and not French ways, its like they try to be polite to everyone and once you eat the cake your mind goes and you start to harvest the body parts of homeless people to feed yer dark Satanic overlord............. or is that just me?

During our 1,000 mile journey, we plan to take measurements of the thickness of the ice. Some people collect stamps or spot trains, its just our thing. We are expected to reach the North Pole in late May so this is definitely my last post at least until then.

Hadow had us would put on survival suits and swim, gaps in the ice dragging a radar system which will measure the thickness of the ice.

I may have been a fisherman but that doesn't mean I can swim well, I only half learned so I could swim under water at the local swimming pool and look at the weemen.

Hadow keeps ranting on about the ice cap melting at an increased rate because of global warming.

I did mention to him my idea of big solar or water powered ice cube making machines at the mouths of rivers to cool the world doon but the man just laughed at me, at me would you believe? what am I a clown? some kind of joke? I have several blogs packed full of historical and factual information, not to mention naked weemen.

Ann Daniels the other member of the British Catlin Arctic Survey group also known as 'The willy warmer' backed him up and started crying about whales and seals, for fuck sake and that woman is the navigator, what an important job, um how are we ever going to find the North pole? how about going north until we see it like duh! a big fuck off red and white pole, she kept making stuff up about true north and magnetic north, she should be at home in Devon looking after her 4 kids and leave the adventuring to us manly men who know what they are doing.

No offense to any clueless weeman reading this but their are no hair saloons out there on the edge.

We will be re-supplied every 20 to 25 days on the mission and have had to put on excess weight because, although we will be taking in 6,000 calories a day, they will be using up around 7,500.

I wanna bag myself a penguin as I've never tasted one before, In the UK there are these chocolate bars called Penguins and I was highly digusted when I found out they were not the real thing. I have my jar of miracle whip handy for when I do get one.

A man builds a four-walled house. Each of the walls, on the outside, face due south. The man looks out the window and sees a bear. What colour is the bear?

Its a black bear you fool, what the fuck do I know about building hooses? I'm back in sunny Callyfornia and about to get me gun, the bear may be on the state flag of Callyfornia but that is just a guide as to what you should kill.
The other members of the team had a dispute with me about something I am totally blameless on, go drag yer own radar fucking system what do I look like Flipper the bush kangeroo? Martin Hartley from London will take over from me and will be the expedition photographer, yeah yeah enjoy the cold ya Sassenach.

So jobless and back to blogging. I did help the Irish police recover 4 million euros stolen from the bank of Ireland in Dublin. There are only 4 Irish police for the whole country as its in the 3rd world, you should see the Irish army its a 73 year-old blind man with a pitch fork. Don't underestimate him he did put his own eyes out.

I actually recovered 5 million of the total 7 million stolen (£6.2m) in real money but I have me expenses

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War With Iceland

Iceland has called what Great Britain did when they 'froze' the assets of Icesave an Icelandic bank to protect British investors "An unfriendly act".
The Icelandic unit of currency 'The Fish-head' has plummeted so much that the Icelandic government has seized power of 3 of its major banks and have threatened the UK with total annihilation.
The Icelandic Prime Minister Geir Haarde said: " If you do not give us our bank back we shall obliterate your little Britain with our geo thermal powered nuclear warheads that are aimed at your major cities you have 3 of your British hours to comply."

I didn't fight the Japs at Dunkirk to give in to a load of twats who piss on rotten fish and then eat it, I say cum and have a go Iceland wipe out all the towns and cities in the UK cos you don't scare me.



Old Knudsen currently resides in Southern Callyfornia


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