Depression Is So Easy Even A Caveman Can Do It

50,000 years ago (unless you believe the Bible :::snigger::::) our ancestors looked around and thought, 'hmm Africa isn't really for me, all those sexy monkeys to fuck and catch diseases from, I'm off' and so they migrated out of Africa into Europe, they started smoking and wearing dodgy ass fashions but the monkey love was always in their head so they fucked their Neanderthal cousins cos once you go hairy you never go back .... so I've heard.    

What's the point? I'll never get a good job whatever that is and I'll be stuck killing bison all my life.  

Tony Capra, assistant professor of biological sciences at Vanderbilt University said that risks for common diseases may have been derived partially from Neanderthal DNA. Some of these diseases have to do with skin, blood, immune system, depression and addiction. 

And that is why yer just an assistant professor Tony. 

Is addiction a disease? That would be handy for all those caught up in it. Why do dicks always look for excuses for themselves to be dicks? .... 'I didn't have a choice, it was my illness that made me go to the bar get blootered and then gamble away the rent money, I can't help it ya know, I'm sick.'    

No, I think you can help it. Remember when Russell Brand blamed society for him becoming a junkie? What about all the rest of the people living in that same society that didn't hang out with sleazy addicts and dealers, why did they/we not become junkies? 

Bloody Tories, made me stick a needle in my arm because of NHS emergency room closures and bedroom tax. If they come out with any more austerity measures I'll probably have to have some crack.  

Well Mungo came. 

This story is being used to explain why you suffer depression..... cos yer a fucking caveman! If yer from European descent then you have some Neanderthal DNA. "Experts"  have said that most contain only 1-4% Neanderthal DNA if any but the amount of DNA relating to skin disease or depression can be more or less than in some others. 

Some folk may have 70% of that DNA relating to skin disease while others only have 10% of their Neanderthal genes going towards it. 

It sounds a little like troll science to me but since I haven't spend a few hours on the Interwebs reading about this then I'm hardly an "expert."    

Some have more Neanderthal DNA than others.

As you know that Africans and Asians never suffer skin disease, have immune system problems or suffer depression or addiction so this is obviously what's causing it.  Old Knudsen looks at those trophy hunting pictures on social media and gets sad. Not because a beautiful animal has been killed for fun but because I wasn't the one who ran it off the edge of a cliff to kill it.

 I'm I the only one that looks at her tits in this picture? 

When I go up to Cave hill for a walk I look at the caves and get sad because with some skins on a rack outside to dry and with a few cave paintings of hunts on the walls they would really look nice ... it makes me depressed. 

Brain glitches, chemical imbalances, not dealing with issues and loss ... for the weak, I get depressed for no reason because one of my ancestors had no game and could only get Neanderthals to date them. 

I also eat chocolate, drink, do drugs and gamble .... not for a quick easy fix to my problems but because Agnes of the bear clan craved some hairy monkey man cock or George of the weasel tribe liked them rough. 

Science has been made more easier for us dumb people with Neanderthal DNA.    

Who Was Andreas Lubitz?

The Germanwings co-pilot Andreas Lubitz who crashed the airplane he was piloting killing all 150 people on board was sure a confusing wee man. 

If you look at the pictures of him you'll see a bright young man with a cute smile and receding hairline .... a slight were-piggy nose but an almost baby like face you can trust.

 Mr Evil himself

Like a younger Karl Rove. So appearances can be deceptive. Lubitz was a selfish prick. The fact that he meant to kill himself and 149 other people shows that clearly.

What have we heard about him so far? He was being treated for mental illness, probably depression, his eyesight was getting worse and his girlfriend was pregnant and there was trouble in that relationship.

It seems that Lubitz was controlling and had a volatile temper then there was the stewardess he was banging on the side.
He also just found out he could face a big pay cut and that there would be changes to his company pension.
Pilots have to do job training in some companies and become a flight attendant for a while, during this time he was nicknamed  "Tomato Andy” which is a German term for repressed homosexuals so there was probably some form of bullying going on.

All very sordid and sounds like a life spiraling out of control... well to him anyways, certainly not worth killing yourself over but depression can convince you that it is.


Captain Patrick Sondheimer had missed going to the restroom before taking off, he mentioned this to Lubitz. Once the take off had cleared Lubitz calmly suggested that he could go to the bathroom at any time now.
When Sondheimer left the cock pit Lubitz locked the door and started an 8 minute decent into the French Alps. The captain can be heard on the flight recorder telling him to open the door and then to pull up, since 9/11 cock pit doors have been reinforced so he wasn't able to break in.

Lubitz was calm and didn't make any maybe calls so we know he did this on purpose, to me it sounds like he had a superiority complex and thought he deserved to be treated better and should have been given more money .... maybe he should have but with low cost air travel you'll get low cost pilots.

Plenty of people have depression and other troubles and don't kill 149 people so this is another matter of anyone can do anything at anytime. Some use guns some use knives, cars and planes for killing sprees, it's gonna happen now and again, people are fucked up. 
 

A German fitness fanatic who liked Audis .... the perfect ingredients for a self-entitled tosser.

He told his bit on the side that he'd do something that everyone would remember. Now he's made it onto Wikipedia so yeah, he's immortal, just like Hitler and Ted Bundy .... still a total prick though.  


  

Robin Williams After Life

I have a confession to make, I never thought that Robin Williams was funny. I liked Mork and Mindy when it was on but only because it was different. Trying to think what Robin Williams movies I liked I came up with Insomnia and One hour photo, both serious roles. Insomnia has Williams playing a manipulative killer and One hour photo as a lonely man who becomes a stalker ..... maybe I could relate to those guys or something.

It was like he was trying too hard to be funny that it annoyed rather than amused me, ah well that's me.
In a 2010 interview with The Guardian newspaper he said, "In America, they really do mythologize people when they die" now he is getting that treatment but I think it's because he really was loved by those who grew up with him and whom he made laugh.

 

What dreams may cum. 

What dreams may cum is a 1998 movie in which everyone dies. Williams' character (who is dead and in heaven) needs to go to Hell to rescue his wife's soul as she committed suicide. It seems that those who kill themselves give themselves an afterlife of hell and torment.  At the young age of 63 it wasn't his time to go but he made it so, I hope he can find the peace he didn't have during his life. 

Everyone now has an opinion on suicide, depression and comedy genius. No no no you don't have to be a humorous person to be depressed, Old Knudsen has suffered depression for years and he isn't funny, I'm no a clown to amuse you with a butt monkey dance so fack aff! 

Idiots in the media have said things like Williams was a coward and selfish. Here are the facts from someone who not only suffers from depression but has been suicidal upon occasion. 

No one knows what depression is, medical people may say it has to do with chemicals in the brain so they throw pill upon pill at you until something works .... medical science my arse, medical guessing more like. 

No wonder Old Knudsen can pass himself off as a doctor, yer depressed? take two of these and maybe 3 of these and snap out of it ..... have you ever just tried not to be depressed? ach go away yer being a right downer. 

Depression is a monster that lies in wait until a time in which it thinks yer vulnerable then it attacks. It chips away at yer very core making you believe shit about yerself that isn't true. Sometimes you can fight it back and say "wise up, I've got no time for this shit" while other times you'll listen to it and even believe it. 

It keeps telling you that there is no hope, that yer a loser, that maybe the world and yer family might be better off without you. Logic and reason leaves you and what this monster tells you via yer own thoughts seems like the truth. They are yer own thoughts after all, repetitive dreadful thoughts.

People can tell you the real truth, you aren't a loser, yer an intelligent, funny, caring person and the world is a brighter place with you in it ..... you hear the words but they sound hollow and you dismiss them in favour of yer familiar and therefore no doubt true, monster thoughts.   

His series was cancelled in May and he had the start of Parkinson's disease so there was no doubt plenty of room for doubt and fear. 

But .....

Suicide is selfish .... FACT!

If you kill yerself you are taking the easy way out, the cowards way .... FACT!

Suicide is selfish because it leaves behind people who loved you, who needed you, not only have you ripped a hole in their lives but a part of them blames themselves. There will also be resentment at having lost someone in this way and guilt at having felt the resentment. Children of a parent who have committed suicide may often end in that way themselves

Robin Williams had a wife, a daughter and two sons, he took her husband and their father from them. 

The thing is that depression itself is selfish, that's the nature of the beast, it's all about yerself. It stops you thinking about others and caring about them, what you do feel is self pity magnified 10 times until the crap that the monster is telling you is the only truth and maybe, there is only one answer because no one else could possible understand.

Depression makes you selfish, depression makes you a coward. 

Williams had always felt fear and anxiety all his life, about what? about everything! Alcohol helps to a point or rather makes you think it helps, his cocaine habit didn't help so much which was why it was more easy to give up. Paranoid and impotent was how he described himself on coke. 

How does Old Knudsen know all of this? Old Knudsen is no coward, he has done things that would be deemed exceptionally brave, not the jumping into a river without thinking to save a puppy brave, that's the easy brave, I mean 3am, lonely long walk to do the deed that may harm you but you do it anyway again and again. 

The fear that comes with depression has made me a selfish coward .... well to my mind anyway, and yes it's a real illness . 

Selfishness and cowardice are things that are opposite to how I live and how I want to live and that is what I have to remember to get me through no matter what lies my monster tells me.

If you live life having done altruistic deeds then it makes it easier to believe that it is who you really are which is why I believe in actions being more important than just words. 

I try to be a man of my word, I try not to be a total cunt. I don't pretend to try I do it, I try.    

If you can keep your head when all about you, Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too.... blah blah blah.

If, by Rudyard Kipling is a poem that is more like an instruction manual than just a poem. My late father clipped it out of a magazine and sent it to me once. It is the best advice a father could give to a son if the father didn't really do emotion and advice.

Why have I described my depression as a monster? because I can fight a monster, it's easier to externalize depression in order to fight it than say fighting yourself. I get angry at my depression and kick it's ass. I hate what depression does to me, I hate how it makes me feel so I direct that hate right back at it .... rather than directing it at myself.

Sometimes self-loathing will win a skirmish but not the war. Old Knudsen has embraced it to a point as it's surely a part of him as his fine muscular arms are. Being at war with yerself isn't a good way to live so making fear and that side of you yer bitch is vitally important, keep it close as you would yer enemies so they can't pull any of their shit.

Embrace all yer sides the good and the bad so you'll know what to work on and what you are happy with.  

Depression often feels as if it comes in waves, some waves bigger and more powerful than others, keep yer head and don't panic, the waves will be over soon enough. Robin Williams forgot that, he didn't see any hope, he had the narrow panicked tunnel vision of someone who was tired of struggling in the currents. 

Just a rest that's all I need.  

 

He was funny, he was brave, he was hairy, he was human and he will be missed.

His last Instagram was to his daughter Zelda at the end of July, wishing her a happy 25th birthday. I hope his family can find the strength they need during this time.  Zelda who is an actress has had idiots on Twitter giving her a hard time and posting inappropriate pictures saying that they were her father. She is quitting Twitter due to it.

Sometimes it's people rather than depression that are the monsters.

The World Is Depressed

During the great depression people caught anxiety and sullenation from infected French sailors. 

I've been thinking about the problems around the world and many of the problems stem from the inability to move on from the past. People want things like justice for events like murders but to open up 30 year-old cases means accusing people in the present who may now be top politicians and that just rocks the boat. Justice is overrated so get with the program. 

Nelson Mandela's shit didn't stink and everyone loved him but no one kept bringing his terrorist past. Even Che Guevara has followers today who weren't even born when he was dispensing his own brand of slaughter in Cuban prisons. The Dalai Lama is seen as a peaceful cheerful looking chap rather than a pampered cunt who misses his Tibetan slaves and who had Nazis as friends. Brad Pitt's character wasn't just a German mountain climber.

 

 I've always suspected him of being mildly retarded, always too happy for my liking.

Sure a top Buddhist monk in Sri Lanka has just said that the Lama has been influenced by Islamist extremists and that he isn't a real Buddhist leader as he doesn't want to visit Sri Lanka in case he upsets China but who is going to hear about a story like that with Gaza going on and planes constantly falling from the skies? 

So Old Knudsen who is an experienced healthcare expert has cum up with a solution to world peace with using what depressed people get told. 

  
It's in the past and you can't change the past, acknowledge yer feelings then let it go. You can only effect the present and the future so move the fuck on. 

See? as simple as that. You may still feel the hurt and the pain so grow a pair and move on, no one cares. Yer holding up the line. 

 Click on it if you want, no one cares about yer depression cos you depress them. 

Do you yammer on about sleights done to yer people 40, 50 or 100 years ago?  Do you have seething hatred for people you don't even know?  Did you have to be taught why so and so are cunts from yer parents?  Do you wave flags and complain about things that you don't have a clue about?  Do you use events from hundreds of years ago ... a time in which you or yer parents or grandparents weren't even born to piss off others while pretending to celebrate this thing which you had no hand in?

Well then yer a dickhead, time to move on as you've wasted enough of the world's time, resources and energy on this and why the fuck were you not sterilised to prevent mini yous? 

Education and healthcare was wasted on you, yer opinions are swayed by issues that blind you and you can't learn from the past. Yer as self-aware as a nutty turd. Yer idea of living in a society is to cause trouble and to bring forth the hates of the past and put it onto those in the present. It isn't all about you!

So where do I pick up me Nobel peace prize from or am I not cuntish enough to have won one?  I can't pick it up this weekend as I'm manning the suicide hotline again. I've never had a repeat caller so I must be good.

  

Exercise 'Magic Drug' for Depression

Away and fuck! this is the 21st century I want the magic drug for depression to cum in the form of a tasty pill oh and in a cup with 5 different flavours and fuck away off with yer cherry flavour only wankers like cherry and you can quote me on that.



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The Czech Write Off Obama

The Czech prime minister has condemned US President Barack Obama's economic recovery plans as "a way to hell". His name is Mirek Topolanek which is fucking funny if you ask me, he is the current and probably the last holder of the EU presidency.

First off, is the Czech Republic a real cuntry? second off, have they still got issues about being given to the Nazis during WWII or what? and third off who gives a fuck what a load of badly dressed slavs say? like there are well dressed ones.

Its not like Czech land can throw in 500 billion dollars or 400 billion Euros into the economy, if they could they would write a czech that would bounce, hahahahaha! yes I only mentioned this to put in that joke.

Its a great depression and time to stop humouring all the wee shity cuntries that suckle at the teat of the more wealthier ones UK, France and Germany.

Have you seen what is going on in France? workers who are going to get laid off hold their bosses as hostage. At an American 3M company and Sony France, get out of that smelly place and leave it to the Germans.

Here in the United States of Confusion they have decided to finally tackle the drug wars on the US/Mexican border .................... why? Does the sale of Mexican drugs in the US and the sale of American weapons in Mexico not count as free trade and a stimulation to the economy? C'mon people drugs being smuggled in the heads of Elmo dolls and ornamental donkeys (Yes genuine drug mules) is great blog fodder.

Besides I'd rather be sent to Iraq or Afghanistan than the Mexican border, its dangerous doon there you know.



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I Won't Pay Anymore Than $5 For A Hummer

I'm fucking sick of taxpayer government bail outs. Sure its been a few years since I was in the car business but I know what I know and my anus itches when I'm trying to sleep at night.

The big car companies are the latest to accept bail outs, all except Ford. A good make in the UK a shite make in America. Like McDonald's good in the UK but shite over here and I'm sure there are further examples.
Ford stands for 'found on road dead' or 'first on racing day' the latter is for that one in ten that gets a good car.
I've talked to mechanics who have said they would go broke if it wasn't for Ford.

Ford is being smart, they are doing so so business and not as bad as the likes of GMC so they can refuse the bailout and when Johnny public goes to buy a car they will remember where their tax dollars went to and go to Ford.

I have a solution to all these big companies that require bail outs, first sack half of yer management team and any employee who smokes then once the slackers are gone you stop selling yer products at unreasonable prices. Its a fucking depression of course people aren't going to buy yer $2000 TV so stop yer whining about not moving stock and not getting yer 200% mark up price.

Don't get me started on the fucking unions, onions more like. I have to go an extra mile to get white man food because fucking Albertsons went on strike and when people didn't want to cross the picket lines the grocery shop closed. Now there is yet another Mexican grocery shop there.

I went in for bananas and found they called them Plantains, well you know Mexicans a 3rd world cuntry but I can tell what a banana looks like. Fucking minging it turns out they are like some jungle banana you have to cook up and serve with dog feces and salsa or something.

Hey car workers kick out the unions and instead of $70 an hour take $40 and at least you'll still have yer jobs, you get paid to push a button or do some rivets good work for 40 an hour, better than $8 as a cashier in some place that tricks the white man with poisoned jungle bananas.


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