Depression Is So Easy Even A Caveman Can Do It

50,000 years ago (unless you believe the Bible :::snigger::::) our ancestors looked around and thought, 'hmm Africa isn't really for me, all those sexy monkeys to fuck and catch diseases from, I'm off' and so they migrated out of Africa into Europe, they started smoking and wearing dodgy ass fashions but the monkey love was always in their head so they fucked their Neanderthal cousins cos once you go hairy you never go back .... so I've heard.    

What's the point? I'll never get a good job whatever that is and I'll be stuck killing bison all my life.  

Tony Capra, assistant professor of biological sciences at Vanderbilt University said that risks for common diseases may have been derived partially from Neanderthal DNA. Some of these diseases have to do with skin, blood, immune system, depression and addiction. 

And that is why yer just an assistant professor Tony. 

Is addiction a disease? That would be handy for all those caught up in it. Why do dicks always look for excuses for themselves to be dicks? .... 'I didn't have a choice, it was my illness that made me go to the bar get blootered and then gamble away the rent money, I can't help it ya know, I'm sick.'    

No, I think you can help it. Remember when Russell Brand blamed society for him becoming a junkie? What about all the rest of the people living in that same society that didn't hang out with sleazy addicts and dealers, why did they/we not become junkies? 

Bloody Tories, made me stick a needle in my arm because of NHS emergency room closures and bedroom tax. If they come out with any more austerity measures I'll probably have to have some crack.  

Well Mungo came. 

This story is being used to explain why you suffer depression..... cos yer a fucking caveman! If yer from European descent then you have some Neanderthal DNA. "Experts"  have said that most contain only 1-4% Neanderthal DNA if any but the amount of DNA relating to skin disease or depression can be more or less than in some others. 

Some folk may have 70% of that DNA relating to skin disease while others only have 10% of their Neanderthal genes going towards it. 

It sounds a little like troll science to me but since I haven't spend a few hours on the Interwebs reading about this then I'm hardly an "expert."    

Some have more Neanderthal DNA than others.

As you know that Africans and Asians never suffer skin disease, have immune system problems or suffer depression or addiction so this is obviously what's causing it.  Old Knudsen looks at those trophy hunting pictures on social media and gets sad. Not because a beautiful animal has been killed for fun but because I wasn't the one who ran it off the edge of a cliff to kill it.

 I'm I the only one that looks at her tits in this picture? 

When I go up to Cave hill for a walk I look at the caves and get sad because with some skins on a rack outside to dry and with a few cave paintings of hunts on the walls they would really look nice ... it makes me depressed. 

Brain glitches, chemical imbalances, not dealing with issues and loss ... for the weak, I get depressed for no reason because one of my ancestors had no game and could only get Neanderthals to date them. 

I also eat chocolate, drink, do drugs and gamble .... not for a quick easy fix to my problems but because Agnes of the bear clan craved some hairy monkey man cock or George of the weasel tribe liked them rough. 

Science has been made more easier for us dumb people with Neanderthal DNA.    

Yes Mongs Its Yer Turn.

Isn't she lovely? if it wasn't for my common birth and hatred of Germans I could be Old Knudsen consort to the Queen and the Grand old Duke of Earl. Of course I have banged her. Is That indescreet telling that? sorry I've got Asperger's syndrome and Tourettes "fucking tit wank" so its not my fault.

Before I forget, "pinch 'n' punch the first of the month and no returns", sorry I can't be there to pinch and punch you in person.


What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton?

You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.


From The Urban Dictionary

Asperger's syndrome

the only disorder where "sufferers" have fuck all in common with each other because all "symptoms" are normal personality traits that everyone in the world has at least one of.

There is no such thing as asperger's syndrome

Asperger's Syndrome

A state of mental existence often misdiagnosed as a disorder. Though this is probably to be expected, as people who do not benefit from Asperger's were the ones who decided to call it one.

Asperger's is a form of high-functioning autism that has effects such as the ability to focus intently and a level of logical thinking that almost rivals computers.
Asperger's people also have a lower tendency to care about social interactions and graces, which is likely why neurotypicals (normal folks, often abbreviated NT) consider them disabled.

Asperger's is no more a disorder than sleep is. If anything, the mind of an Asperger's individual is more organized than a normal person's.

Aspie

This term is an affectionate nickname for those with Asperger's syndromeIt was the idea of parents
relatives of aspies.
Aspies are healthy mentally, their brain's just wired a different way.
I am an Aspie. That is, a person with asperger's syndrome. Some of the definitions on asperger's on here are questionable at best, at worst, so ignorant as to be offensive.Someone who claims to be an aspie ((the one that mentions a pill about the size of a tic-tac)) would be more believable had they omitted the clause of it being made up.

Asparagus Syndrome

An unlucky cunt who is not only painfully autistic (asperger syndrome) but can't spell for shit (dyslexic)
He says he feels a lighter shade of yellow today but when I told him to write down "yellow", he wrote "hjsdf". He must have Asparagus Syndrome .

Aspergers

Aspergers Syndrome is a disorder similiar to Autism. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness.
They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest.
They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see.

The lead singer from the Vines has Aspergers Syndrome who ever he is.
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Its a cop out for those with undeveloped social skills cos they are just thick and unimaginative, also the cultural divide happens too, a lot of yanks get so lost on my Blog because they don't know the cultural references or the surrealism is a bit too surreal for them, such basic stuff to me but I could put them doon as having Aspergers that would be 80% of America, they get all the hip mental illnesses and buzzwords first. I know there are autistic people out there I've seen Rain man I just think people are more quick to give themselves a label and and excuse than try to overcome. FUCKER, sorry one slipped out .