Chobham Street Homes To Be Demolished

The Department for Regional Development and the Northern Ireland Housing Executive have deemed that the 50 houses around Chobham Street in Belfast near the site of a huge 11th night bonfire must be demolished as they are a fire hazard.

Minister for Regional Development, Danny Kennedy said, "It's very irresponsible for people to have homes full of combustible material so close to a bonfire."

When asked if wouldn't it make more sense to move the bonfire Chief Constable George Hamilton of the Police Service of Northern Ireland started to sweat and his eyes began to water, "They won't listen to us, they make oinking noises and laugh, this seems to be the best option."  

The Orange Order are as usual quiet on this subject though they firmly believe that Protestants have the right to celebrate the 12th July 1690 battle victory and have traditional bonfires where ever they please. They do have shit fits when the Fenians have their celebrations by burning down Orange halls. Ach you can't have it both ways.  

Experts Say That Loyalists Must Be Brain Damaged

Experts from James University London, have released a study that suggests that 8 of of 10 Northern Ireland's Loyalists suffer from some form of brain damage.

Professor Irvine the head of the 4 year research into Loyalism said, " The lives of Loyalists are complex ones full of rejection and very much lacking in parental love, those parents may also be damaged people too."   

He continues, "There are many reasons for Loyalist retardation such as Fetal alcohol syndrome, being partially smothered by their parents which happens often, being dropped on their heads as babies and of course glue sniffing and alcohol abuse starting early in their teenage years."

These new findings may help authorities in dealing with Loyalists such as the ones at Chobham Street bonfire who refuse to reduce the size of the fire or the location of it causing 50 families to leave their homes for fear of catching fire on the 11th night. Police and Politicians have used their best manners and have said please and thank you but have gotten no where, the Loyalists won't even take money.  One Ulster Unionist councillor who wanted to look as if his own side respected what he had to say even offered to suck dick and that always works but not this time. 
 

 

Mel Gibson who was in Belfast to make Mad Max: The Golden Years took one look at all the Israeli flags up and automatically assigned blame on the Jews who run Hollywood, the Loyalists, Sinn Fein and are posing as ISIS and One Direction. Gibson then took a look at a police officer who was observing the bonfire (that's all they do) and said, "what are you looking at sugar tits?" the officer burst into tears and had to be put on leave to cope with the emotion abuse, police do not expect him to return to duty any time soon. 

Old Bitter Balls caught up with some of these Loyalist bonfire masterminds and asked for a comment, "The thug life chose us we didn't chose the thug life."

Some Loyalists just want to watch the werld burn. 

Loyalists Are Arson Around

If you laugh at the fact that a bonfire in the centre of Belfast .... aye the capital city in the 21st century was set on fire prematurely then you get called a Fenian or Republican, well Old Knudsen is laughing at yer fleggory misfortune.

Look at the effort it takes to make these things, the pallets that are begged borrowed and stolen from all over. Those blue pallets belong to a company that makes a loss every year but what are you to do when the police and the law are biased and toothless?

A big fuss was made because it was set on fire before the traditional 11th July night and it caused a disruption so the police were angry. If you set a giant bonfire on fire in the centre of Belfast it's arson, when you do it on the 11th July it's culture!

Loyalists have a long tradition of being arson loving drug dealing bullies, it's their culture and heritage, you can trust their Fenian counterparts just as much, both sides are criminals with unrealistic ideas who will stop at nothing to achieve them .... but the Loyalists are dumb as fuck and embarrassing in their self-entitled ways, the English never get on like that.

When the little Fleggers who spent weeks under the instruction of a paramilitary hood community worker, ditching school so they could pile a load of wood onto some pram wheels dragging it around the local businesses shouting, "hey mister, got any wood for the boney?" saw their work go up in flames did tears stream doon their snot covered faces as they asked, "Billy, why would somebody do this?" 
Here is yer answer you little shit, 'some men just want to watch the pallets burn.'  

 
 

Something About Mary

Just when you think there is no hope for the world something dumb and idiotic makes you smile.

Some fleggers put a statue of the alleged virgin Mary onto their bonfire on the Shankill rd but it only stayed there for no more than 10 minutes until community leaders not wishing to offend normal Catholics removed it and took it to Fr Gary Donegan ,at the Holy Cross Church in Ardoyne.

Also the priest was not molesting any children at the time which is good .... right?

So fucking positive all round. Well done to those on the Shankill for showing some basic courtesy and respect, ach sure it wouldn't have burned very well but this gesture is bigger than anything the cunts from the Orange Order, Sinn Fein or the DUP have ever done, this was sincere.


Oh fuck it, I swore to myself I wasn't gonna cry. 

Save A Bike Ride A Spide

Lemurs and ghost children freak Old Knudsen the fuck out.

No Flag No Prospects

You might not have the Union flag flying over Belfast city hall everyday but you still have the rest of yer culture, aye and it's the best bits too.

Vandalising, stealing and arson. I've seen tidier gypsy camps, get that pile of shite moved.