Man Of Action Makes A Cum Back

Tank commander outfit. 

Action Man is 50 years old. This toy from the 60's, 70's and 80's was fucken cool ... then it died, mostly because of Star Wars.

No back story or characters, the figures were soldiers, sailors and pilots, there was even a Native American Indian and a mountie outfits. The Injun had a long black haired wig which had all the ethnic GI Joes complaining about the lack of diversity. 
There was a black figure named Tom Stone that came out which was the only black fella many of us had ever seen.
   

I remember a long rifle than a spear. 

The TV commercials had Action Man skiing or getting away from the bad guys and there would be a ton of accessories to get. Back then if you got an Action Man tank you could probably take the turret off and ride it down wee hills and it would survive, toys today wouldn't, yon X-box doesn't even have wheels.   

Hasbro will be going old school and releasing 5 Action Man figures, this is good news for big kids like Old Knudsen as he has fond memories of mutilating his don't call them dolls action figures by throwing darts at them until they started to use the hard plastic that is because the darts just fell out of them then. 

Rubber back then wasn't as lasting as it is today and when they went with gripping hands you'd find that the fingers would fall off and they'd look like IRA bomb makers. The felt hair would come off too so you'd be left with the shape of hair but no hair.

  

Old Knudsen growing up on the Protestant side of things wonders if the Fenian cocksuckers ever gave their children action men dressed like Paras to play with. Maybe they had innocent bystander action men (complete with hidden M-16) and Para's to play Bloody Sunday in which the Paras all got shot?

GI Joes had a broader range and some of the figures they still make today such as presidents and war heroes etc are pretty amazing. The detail has gotten even better.

As well as the hands and the bodies changing they also gave them Eagle Eyes which meant you could move their eyes from side to side via a switch in the back of their heads.

I'll be buying them assuming they aren't millions of pounds. So many outfits that were mostly WWII and now they can make more such as drone operators and lady soldiers. HM Forces make their own 10 inch doll action figure based on the armed forces, and has females. If the British government can do it ... c'mon! The HM Forces ones do have small ghey looking heads though. Based on real service members I guess they didn't have any good looking ones available. This guy looks like he stepped in shit. The HM ones are about an inch and a bit smaller than action man.

Here is the Knudsen Action Man. There would be a pull string and a speaker in the back. The later versions used to have little records to play the various commands if he had a lot to say.

"C'mon chaps, move out and advance!"

The Old Knudsen figure has a back story about waking up in just his blue undies still half drunk and angry. The Eagle Eyes on this one were marketed as "Crazy Eyes" and he had some soundbites cos a Knudsen Action Man is bound to be a talker .... a lover, fighter and talker. I wanted them to put a working penis on it but they said no, so strap on's only .... story of my life, I can still fight and I never shut the fuck up. 

His soundbites were, "Tae, 2 sugars luv" ..... "Weakness is for the weak" .... "you deserve a harsh mocking" and "Feel my gripping rubber fists of justice."

The Knudsen figure liked to grip. 

The only problem was that they used some toffy nosed Sassenach for the voice as they did for all the military talkers as the ol empire mind set was still around and no region dialects were allowed.

My accessories included a half brick to throw and a sachet of fake blood to cover me in as that is usually how I wake up. For some reason it didn't sell too well and won't be one of the 5 re-released. I blame the stoopid accent.   

 Hasbro will also bring out the ol favourite Stretch Armstrong. I have contacted Hasbro and left them a message about trying a stretch Knudsen. Ach we're all grown up now so I'm sure we can deal with a toy and its expanding love member, never mind grown up's I'm sure the kids would love to play with it too.

Just don't slice it open to see what is inside as many of us did back in the day .... ouch! 

We All Have Our Scars

What do ya think about those bored academics from the University of Liverpool's School of Biological Sciences who said that Western women find scarring on men attractive and may associate it with health and bravery? Its a rhetorical question as yer opinion matters not to me unless I can get something out of appearing interested.

It also seems that men find women with or without scars attractive. Yes Liverpool is full of shallow cunts, but hey they are quick and witty like the Irish but harder to understand ............. don't you Irish go taking that as a compliment.





Old Knudsen did a study and found the Irish were more into warts and boils and that Franz Liszt who was always pissed (drunk) and the great lord or Ireland Oliver Cromwell were the Emerald isle's number one and two disrespectfully sex symbols of all time.

Women rated scarring as an attractive quality for short-term relationships because they found it be a symbol of masculinity, in other words a bad boy who will get them up the duff and knock them around.

Men without scars are seen as more caring boring types and therefore more suitable for long-term relationships.

Tina Fey who may or not be Sarah Palin has a facial scar. It happened when she was 5 year-old and standing in her front garden, some cunt she didn't know came along and slashed her. Yeah big man with a knife, Old Knudsen gets on like a 5 year-old sometimes cum and have a go if ya think yer hard enough.
Getting back on track Old Knudsen would totally give it to Tina up the jammy dodger scar or not so he mocks the findings by those without real jobs.

People who get paid for thinking and messing around are lucky jammy cunts. Actress Summer Glau the perky lass pictured above showing you where not to put yer finger on a weapon unless you are shooting it does not have any scars that Old Knudsen knows of but Old Knudsen would totally give it to Summer up the jammy dodger until winter. Old Knudsen does not discriminate for he hates all but will lower himself for his hole.

Harrison Ford has a scar on his chin, he got it years ago when he worked as a carpenter/puppy killer it seems that one of the mutts had a collar on and when it went into the wood chipper a piece flew out and struck the handsome star, he has hated dogs ever since and even turned doon those excellent Beethoven films, yer loss Mr Ford.

Hollywood has known about scaring for years, a big scar means Bond villain and a small over the eyebrow scar means hunk who has been in a fight but we still want him to look good.

Hey Bruce! Asshole Koocher with 1 million followers on Twatter is fucking yer ex while yer kids call him daddy and he may do a Woody Allen later, do ya wanna cum over for dinner tonight to show how adult and not at all creepy things are?

Remember my fight against Cardinal Ratzinger in 2003? Old Knudsen wore a plaster (Band-aid) over his eye to hide a weeping boil, it wasn't my complete annihilation of the Ratman that got me mostly female gunties through the mail it was the plaster. Yes a lot of tattered, stained belly warmers did cum from Ireland.

I hear the Ratman who is only 82 has been in training for 2010 when it so happens we will both be in the UK .

Old Knudsen challenges any cult a system of religious beliefs and ritual also great devotion to a person, idea, or thing leaders to hand to hand combat and yes you may form a cult just to fight Old Knudsen he will pencil you in for a near death experience.