Man Of Action Makes A Cum Back

Tank commander outfit. 

Action Man is 50 years old. This toy from the 60's, 70's and 80's was fucken cool ... then it died, mostly because of Star Wars.

No back story or characters, the figures were soldiers, sailors and pilots, there was even a Native American Indian and a mountie outfits. The Injun had a long black haired wig which had all the ethnic GI Joes complaining about the lack of diversity. 
There was a black figure named Tom Stone that came out which was the only black fella many of us had ever seen.
   

I remember a long rifle than a spear. 

The TV commercials had Action Man skiing or getting away from the bad guys and there would be a ton of accessories to get. Back then if you got an Action Man tank you could probably take the turret off and ride it down wee hills and it would survive, toys today wouldn't, yon X-box doesn't even have wheels.   

Hasbro will be going old school and releasing 5 Action Man figures, this is good news for big kids like Old Knudsen as he has fond memories of mutilating his don't call them dolls action figures by throwing darts at them until they started to use the hard plastic that is because the darts just fell out of them then. 

Rubber back then wasn't as lasting as it is today and when they went with gripping hands you'd find that the fingers would fall off and they'd look like IRA bomb makers. The felt hair would come off too so you'd be left with the shape of hair but no hair.

  

Old Knudsen growing up on the Protestant side of things wonders if the Fenian cocksuckers ever gave their children action men dressed like Paras to play with. Maybe they had innocent bystander action men (complete with hidden M-16) and Para's to play Bloody Sunday in which the Paras all got shot?

GI Joes had a broader range and some of the figures they still make today such as presidents and war heroes etc are pretty amazing. The detail has gotten even better.

As well as the hands and the bodies changing they also gave them Eagle Eyes which meant you could move their eyes from side to side via a switch in the back of their heads.

I'll be buying them assuming they aren't millions of pounds. So many outfits that were mostly WWII and now they can make more such as drone operators and lady soldiers. HM Forces make their own 10 inch doll action figure based on the armed forces, and has females. If the British government can do it ... c'mon! The HM Forces ones do have small ghey looking heads though. Based on real service members I guess they didn't have any good looking ones available. This guy looks like he stepped in shit. The HM ones are about an inch and a bit smaller than action man.

Here is the Knudsen Action Man. There would be a pull string and a speaker in the back. The later versions used to have little records to play the various commands if he had a lot to say.

"C'mon chaps, move out and advance!"

The Old Knudsen figure has a back story about waking up in just his blue undies still half drunk and angry. The Eagle Eyes on this one were marketed as "Crazy Eyes" and he had some soundbites cos a Knudsen Action Man is bound to be a talker .... a lover, fighter and talker. I wanted them to put a working penis on it but they said no, so strap on's only .... story of my life, I can still fight and I never shut the fuck up. 

His soundbites were, "Tae, 2 sugars luv" ..... "Weakness is for the weak" .... "you deserve a harsh mocking" and "Feel my gripping rubber fists of justice."

The Knudsen figure liked to grip. 

The only problem was that they used some toffy nosed Sassenach for the voice as they did for all the military talkers as the ol empire mind set was still around and no region dialects were allowed.

My accessories included a half brick to throw and a sachet of fake blood to cover me in as that is usually how I wake up. For some reason it didn't sell too well and won't be one of the 5 re-released. I blame the stoopid accent.   

 Hasbro will also bring out the ol favourite Stretch Armstrong. I have contacted Hasbro and left them a message about trying a stretch Knudsen. Ach we're all grown up now so I'm sure we can deal with a toy and its expanding love member, never mind grown up's I'm sure the kids would love to play with it too.

Just don't slice it open to see what is inside as many of us did back in the day .... ouch! 

The CIA Let It Go

Tell us where Queen Elsa of Arendelle is or it's goodbye snowballs.

Kind CIA employees collected 26 bins of toys for the annual Toys for Tots Marine Corps Reserve campaign.
CIA Director John Brennan thanked everyone for their efforts, “The men and women in uniform represent the best of this country.” Hear hear! even if it is Marines.

Brennan's personal donation to the campaign was a stuffed Olaf doll from the movie Frozen. “I understand that this is very popular, but I don’t know what it is.”  

“But as a new grandfather, I am going to have to get used to these things.”

The CIA began Operation Santa Claus in 1968 and since 2000 they have worked with the Marines on the Toys for Tots Foundation.

You don't know who or what the fuck Olaf is and we trust you to keep America safe and torture for the good of the many. That is what is wrong with the CIA .... Clueless. 

Of course any tots with families who are suspect will have recording devices and trackers in the toys if I can remember the original mission briefing from 1968. Buzz Lightyear has become one of the most decorated CIA operatives ever.

The CIA program Tots for Toys was very big in the 80's when the Berlin wall came doon and people wanted rid of their surplus children.

An Honest Mistake, On The Hole

Republican congresswoman Michele Bachmann suffers from migraines, I'm sure the investigation into her alleged misuse of funds from her 2012 presidential campaign isn't helping them any. Luckily she has friends that care about her.

Only a dirty mind could think that this looks like a sex toy. 





Rex Elsass, the CEO of the conservative Christian political consulting firm Strategy Group for media






thought he'd give her something that she needed ... a massager, so he sent an employee out to buy one.

The employee bought the Ass-master 3000 vibrating pleasure machine which I suppose in certain lighting may look like a vibrator.... a great choice BTW.   

The offending tool of joy was “intercepted” by the Christian group before Bachmann received it which spoils my little day dreams and her fun somewhat. 

Intercepted? .... that sounds like tampering with the mail, a federal offense with a $2000 fine and up to five years in prison.... Americans take tampering with sex toys very seriously.

Old Knudsen suspects that there is more to this than meets the eye.

Bachmann really needs it, she suggested that Congress should “spank” President Obama and “pinch his ears back” in order to “give the president a major wake up call” regarding immigration reform.

She said “He has a perpetual magic wand and nobody’s given him a spanking yet and taken it out of his hand.”

She also suggested that Obama shove his huge throbbing black cock up her ass while discussing his healthcare reforms.... thats the last time she'll be asked to appear on The view I reckon.  

Fucking gagging for it and Rex Elsass knows it.

I wonder if her husband Marcus knows she is a horny hose beast on the prowl, he spends most of his time on the golf course, if it wasn't for Rex always calling round she'd be lonely too.