New Issues Every Month

This issue of Vanity Time has Bruce Caitlyn Jenner showing you how to upstage Kim in three easy steps. Now she has a vagina of color will anyone want to see it? ... "Next week I'm going to convert to Islam, I have a beautiful prayer rug picked out ... lol!" 

Rachel Dolezal says that those crackers in Montana claiming to be her biological parents only have DNA, photos and medical records which is no proof whatsoever.

Snoop Washington (formerly Trevor Patterson) tells of his inner turmoil at being a wigger. He identifies himself as being black but faces racism and ridicule everyday when he hangs with his homies in his Rodeo Drive hood, not even the police hassle him, "I'm a victim of white privilege ... ight." 

Todd Sidebottom says, "help, I have too many guns" Todd loves guns, rock'n'roll and fish tacos and has been taking anti-depressants for 2 years and is responding well to therapy. "I'm working through my mother issues and now I see I was never to blame for how she treated my brother better, I just hope that none of my guns start shooting people."  

In 2014 guns killed over 100 million people in the US. Charlton Heston who was the King of the NRA had guns in his home and a neighbour of Leonard Nimoy from Star Wars also owned a gun ... Coincidence?
No one will investigate those high profile deaths but what can you expect when Washington has a powerful gun lobby? Should Washington have a lobby strictly for guns? 
    
Next month in Vanity Time!

What does Jon Snow actually know? and wet floors, the silent killer.

White People Get Offended On Behalf Of Black People

British glamour model Eritrea has come out in defense of former NAACP leader Rachel Dolezal who is a white woman that posed as a black woman in order to make a living based on the struggles of the black minorities in the US.

Eritrea from Essex says that she is black and has always identified with black culture, when growing up she'd listen to black singers like Michael Jackson, Christina Aguilera and Vanilla Ice. She prefers KFC to McDonald's and before her 3 boob jobs her boobs were very saggy.  


"My nan would sit me on her knee and pass onto me the oral history of my people from Kunta Kinte over there in the Gambia which is near Africa to Chicken George and some others I can't remember, it's in my blood, init."     

A man of color. 

Donald Trump who thought about running for president in 1988, 2000, 2004 and 2012 was so moved by Dolezal's struggle that he announced he was running for 2016.

"As a proud black man I will vow to up hold the struggles of Claudette Colvin, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King and Al Sharpton, Martin Luther nailed his declaration of faith onto that door saying that he would never give up until whitey pays compensation, this is my declaration saying the same thing. I shall not rest until America has it's first black American born Christian as president and to question my policies means you're a racist, fight the power my brothers and sisters, Hakuna Matata!"   

Mitt Romney another man of color quickly rushed to endorse Trump. Romney who had a racial reassignment treatment in 2012 isn't running this time because people cane still remember the last failure too clearly and thinks that white American feels threatened by a strong black person.

Experts believe that when perfectly healthy white folks want to rebel against their middle class backgrounds or against their parents they'll become what white people fear the most ... black people.

Channing Tatum has come out of the closet to tell the world he is Asian. 

No one at the Oscar cries because white people tortured raped and killed black people they had as slaves and like to forget that the founding fathers except for John Adams all owned slaves. George Washington owned 318.
They do cry when some black people walk over a bridge to a John Legend tune.

The white people take the culture from the minorities and use it to feel more morally righteous or so they can earn a living off the backs of slaves by saying they understand because hey we all come from Africa originally right?

 I have to stop you there, Rachel Dolezal makes a better black person, she understands our struggle.

Using Dolezal as an example white people make pretty good black people, in the future maybe we 'll see all ethnic groups as being white. Hollywood has for years used white people for ethnic roles and call it white privilege if you want but we're better at being ethnic than the ethnics .... except for sports and dancing. 

Lower class white people have been dressing in dodgy looking clothes for years in cloths that could be described as 'something a black person would wear'. Is it racist to say so if it's true? The bleached blonde Nordic/Master race look is being replaced by weaves and frizzy black hair, white is the new black. 

 Guess which one went native for Royal Ascot. 

If you want to out source riots in the US to low class white who have less chance of getting shot then just hire them from Northern Ireland, we like to riot and abuse police .... it's our culture.    

There are 3 white people in this photo, I doubt you'll find them.

In the US and in London they riot because the police shoot someone, in Northern Ireland they riot because of flags or because of reasons ..... we're even better at rioting, we barely do any prison time either.  

 

 

Black Is Black I Want My Baby Back .... Ribs

 

Orange is the new black.

 Rachel Dolezal is a proud African/American with a touch of white and Native American, she is an expert on African-American culture and gives lectures on it. If Al Jazeera want to know about police violence against blacks then they ask her.     
She is also the head of the NAACP in Spokane, Washington that's the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People in case you didn't know, a civil rights group with a racist name.

Yeah that sounds fucking crazy considering the slagging Benedict Cumberbatch got for saying coloured.

 I miss white dog shit.

Well I haven't got to the fucking crazy part yet. Ms Dolezal who prefers to be called black rather than African/American is as white as the dog shit you'd see in the 70's and 80's.

Her parents who are very white (neither have an ass) became estranged when she started to want to be called Cunti-kinty .... only kidding but they did grow apart as she became more and more black and made up more crazy shit. Her parents adopted a couple of 'real' black kids and one of them she passed off as being her son. She even went to a historically black university and married a black dude in 2000.   
       

 Yeah we're pretty sure our daughter is white.

She's a mix of Swedish, German and Czech, maybe some Native American but they don't know  .... so she's kinda nuts. She reminds me of the chick from Soul man who didn't see black and white only shades of grey and sympathized with the black struggle for freedom just cos she wanted black cock.

Kim Kardashian has had more black in her.  

     I'm so white it hurts, check out my crappy dancing. 

What is the big deal? She identifies with black culture and supports the black struggle to be treated equally. Maybe when growing up she tanned and looked black compared to all the other crackers in her native Montana or Whitopia as Dolezal would call it.

 Hi there, black lives matter!

If Old Knudsen dyed his hair and slapped on the bronze tan and said he was black, "yo what up big G?" you wouldn't have a problem because it's for a good cause .... the cause of my people who struggled in chains, go see 12 years a slave, that was my life growing up. Ach you don't understand.


Some (like NAACP) think that we shouldn't be focusing on this as there are more worthy things to debate while others say they want to turn white to avoid police beatings. If Rachel Dolezal can do it, so can I and only a white person gets so much attention for being black.

Lying to get a job is expected, resumes are just guidelines for what should have happened in yer life had you studied or in her case had black parents.  Since Old Knudsen is old, all that grade inflation and the feel good liberal everyone is a winner crap didn't exist so I inflate me own grades .... ach from nothing the only way is up so a D in asstrofizzics is better than not having taken the subject.  

She looks better with a fake tan and dark frizzy hair. 

The Internet was quick to mock. Like how Bruce Jenner plucked her eyebrows on the way
shaved her legs and then he was a she .... named Caitlyn they asked if she was now Transracial. If she has a sex change or if Caitlyn decided to be black they'd be a shoe in for all the affirmative action jobs.
If Bruce Jenner can be Caitlyn by saying he is then she can be black right? They both changed their appearance but Bruce doesn't have that extra chromasome and she doesn't have the DNA, I think the difference is that she tried to fool people.
 

With Baltimore's HAWT! State Attorney Marilyn Mosby, I'd give her a pearl necklace.

I think she should be given an award for courage, it's not easy being a white woman trapped in a black woman's body. She is of course not owning up and is saying how she doesn't care what people think.... We think yer cray cray. 
I won't say no to being trapped inside her body after she goes on meds that is, crazy weemen are so unattractive when they know where you sleep. 

Oh and she called a black dude her father on the Spokane NAACP's Facebook page ... not father in-law, not father figure but father, then there were her childhood memories. She remembered hunting food with bow and arrow, beatings with a  "baboon whip" and living inside a Montana tepee. Her son sibling denies any child abuse or whippings just for being black.

Her parents don't remember this but she does, her struggle is etched into the skin of her back like a road map of pain .... except there are no marks.  

 Oh c'mon, that's it, I'm gonna take tanning pills and get a college scholarship. What are they supposed to be, the X-men? Cosplay is weird.  

Did she make up the 9 instances of hate crimes against her? The last one was a package with death threats in it, the post office said that it wasn't time stamped and could have only gotten into her P.O. box was if it had been placed there by a post office employee or by someone who had the P.O. Box key.
The police are investigating but I bet I know how it got there.   

It's funny how many people are standing by the psycho hose beast known liar with obvious mental issues but I suspect that all her credibility for minorities has gone.... Of course this is America where you can be a crack head, apologise for getting caught and then get reelected to public office.   

No one would have taken a white chick seriously for the work she does and now they won't because she lied. You can lead in the NAACP without being black ya know.

Any other fakers out there? What about you Colin Powell .... pronounced Colon by the way, must be a black thing if you fall for that 'I'm black' crap. I'm not sure I believe anyone now. Has Obama been black facing himself ? I've always been suspect about Halle Berry.

Bo Derek, another proud woman of colour. The only black bone in her body was the one Bill Cosby put in her when she had a nap at his hoose .... Ka-Chow! Racist rape jokes for the win.