The World Will End In March 2015

 The world exploding may have a harmful effect on the environment.

The large hadron collider has been off since 2013 to get the dead monkeys out of the filters and such but in March 2015 it is to be switched on again for an experiment that scientists will say will 'rock your work' it will have 60% more power and will be bigger and harder!
Who knows what would happen if you created a black hole in a lab underground in Switzerland? The scientists don't know but it might be cool to find out.

Larger and more powerful, 60,000 new cores and more than 100 petabytes of memory and 1,000 TV channels.

They are trying to find The God Particle which is what God used to create the universe with, though God didn't have rubber, plastic or metal alloys to build with he had some cool dark matter particles which he would make tables and birds out of. He used a form of divine photoshop and freely admitted in the Bible that he created creatures like the duck-billed platypus after quite a few drinks. 

He spent a lot of time on titties but ended up hating what he had become .... ghey issues I bet. The Norse and Greek gods didn't have too much of a gender barrier but God, totally in denial.

Professor Stephen Hawking took time away from drooling to say, "In a world of infinite possibilities, we are totally fucked in March" he said that space and time could collapse and "could destroy the universe"  .... a little vague there roller boy. He went onto advise people to go and see his movie, The theory of everything while they still had time. 

Astrophysicist Neil de Grasse Tyson who doesn't have a movie has played it safer and has only suggested that they might blow up the planet and do they really know what they are doing? .... He sounds like me everytime I go and see a doctor.

The other expert in the holy trinity of TV scientists Bill Nye .... the science guy gave a comment though he seemed very busy, "The end is Nye motherfuckers!"

It seems that Nye has been building a space ship on and off since 1982 and has increased his activity after his famous evolution debate with creationist Ken Ham when he muttered something about not wanting to be on this planet any more.  

"I'm blasting the fuck outta here, when they switch that puppy on there will be an inter-dimensional rip which will allow angels to materialize in our world, you really don't want angels to come through, not only are they bullet proof but they are soul-less and don't care who they kill... total douchebags."  

According to Nye it was angels who wiped out the neanderthals as they were part of God's failed breeding experiment and would only weaken the new stock if they interbred. Some did escape which goes to explain Conservatives, the Russians and many sporting stars.    

Nye also revealed that his ship is powered by angel essence from an angel he caught in 1978 which he keeps shackled and sedated.

Nye already had his team of astronauts selected and when Old Knudsen jokingly asked if he could join then, Nye said that he wouldn't pass the physical .... no idea what he meant by that. 

Will the world collapse explode or melt? Will they will find inter-dimensional beings who have a taste for human flesh and humanities destruction? as it has been suggested by other great minds. 

Old Knudsen is at the point where he doesn't really care. Humans cannot play well together. I just hope that if a black hole occurs, it'll happen over the Middle east cos those people have really inherited the cunt gene from Cain.  

Intellectual Conspiracy Uncovered

For years now we have had to hear about how intelligent Stephen Hawking is or his cronies Neil deGrasse Tyson, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Brian Cox, Walter Bishop, Michio Kaku, Rodney McKay or Robert fucking Winston are. Oh they are sooo clever the way they can talk to us stupid people as if we are on their ever so high level.
Have you ever met a college graduate who calls themselves a PhD, Doctor or Professor who isn't full of themselves and who doesn't look doon on mere mortals who were too busy getting laid to waste time with education? ... you have? ok then have you ever met five? ... got ya. 

Then you have the pretend intelligent ones like Stephen Fry who may have portrayed Oscar Wilde but he is no Oscar Wilde. He's intelligent like Jay Leno is funny .... with the help of writers. 

'In World war II America had segregation in it's armed forces unlike we British'  ... says a smug anti-American Fry on his TV show IQ.  Aye we didn't have segregation, we also didn't have enough black people in Britain for it to be a factor, our blacks and browns were in the parts of our Empire flung out all over the globe, yep fully integrated African, Indian and Nepalese regiments which all of course had white officers .... cos you couldn't trust a wog/fuzzy to do that work. Whip the blighters into shape if they don't work hard enough. 
If you didn't have any Irish to use as cannon fodder you'd use them before you sent in the nice white British troops .... aye we were sooo enlightened compared to the Yanks, still are. 

You may fool everyone else Fry but Old Knudsen eats truth for breakfast and yes, it does taste like chicken.

 

 An excited school leaver trying to choose from all the possible careers she could apply for .... KFC or BK? such a decision to make. What are yer tits like? I'm sure you could go on the game.

In the UK we don't really do education, that's for middle class cunts with ambition. Unlike the US we don't graduate from school, there is nothing to celebrate except the 'getting out' of school. While Americans have High school graduates which sounds like an achievement we have school leavers...

On the last day of school you go up to the school administrator and they hand you a brown paper package tied up with string. Inside are all yer hopes, dreams, ambitions and creativity you began with in life but now they are all dried up and smashed to pieces .... enjoy being an adult. 
     

                                                         At their club talking smart shit.

   
I have found that all of those uber intelligent people on the telly telling you how great the cosmos is actually spend 80% of their time online trolling. They all attend a secret Hellfire skull and boner gentleman's club ..... cos weemen aren't intelligent enough to be genius' ..... was Einstein a lady? nope, case closed.
Yahoo answers is full of fake profiles with questions and answers, all made up by these scientists. 

The question of what to do from the high school gurl who got her first kiss from a guy at school that she had a crush on, only to fart onto his hand when he grabbed her ass, classic Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Did NASA create thunderstorms to mask the sound of space battles? ..... That's a Hawking, he loves that space shit.
Don't get him started on blackholes or other shit that won't get proven anytime soon, well played sir. 

What percentage of water is celery?  Celery has no nutrition and is mostly all water so what percentage of water is it?  

What techno song is this? I don't know what it's called but it's stuck in my head. Dun Dun Dun Dun, Dun Dun Dun Dun, errrr, Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun etc etc. 

The best answer to that was, some were dropped as babies, you were thrown at a wall. 

Aye scientists can be quite bitchy at times.  

Write this to get at Stephen Fry, 'Do gay people have feelings?' 

Evolution question: How did Sloth's survive for so long?   Answer: They worship Satan, clearly.

No one could be that stupid. These scientists are putting up these questions and answers to 1) feed you false facts ..... we all know Sloths went extinct thousands of years ago and are all now CGI as played by Andy Serkis. 2) they are trying to make themselves appear more intelligent by making everyone else look dumb. 

I suspect I have several of these brainiacs on my Facebook friends list passing themselves off as normal-ish people, maybe cos Old Knudsen is the most likely candidate to be onto them. It must have been yon Mensa test I did that alerted them, my score came back as 'we can't give you a score if you don't take the questions seriously'  which really means, we are threatened by yer dangerous intellect and will be watching you from now on. 

I wondered who owned yon dark blue Volkswagon Passat that had been parking a few doors doon, I had assumed it was a client round for an afternoon delight with Mavis but I bet it was a science guy.

Some normal people (IQ of mid to high 20's) do write on Yahoo answers if they can't be bothered Googling and reading what comes up and using critical thinking to find the possibly answers. (life is too short for finding knowledge) One asked if some bats make a noise that humans can hear.  

Those master race smart arses had a field day with answers like cricket bat and baseball bat.  How are lazy people ever going to get proper answers with Bill Nye the trolling guy online? 

Nye-  Hey Tyson, tell me if this is racist, "Are Japanese people born knowing Kung-fu?" .... "I only want to know if it's safe to rob my Japanese neighbor."  

Tyson- Fuck yeah it's racist you cracker motherfucker  ......  Nye- good, I'll use it then. 

Tyson- Hey look what roller boy put up,  "Do you eat food? Or gravity?"

Nye- Hawking gives me the creeps and you can never tell by his voice if he's serious or not.  

Is there a good way to prevent my GF from getting pregnant?  My friend told me you can put a straw up her vagina and suck her eggs out, is that true???  

I'm still awaiting an answer on this, c'mon it's time sensitive for fucks sake.