Look A Cow!

Thanks to the peaceful G8 David Cameron has been gushing on what a peaceful place Northern Ireland is.
Well most of the trouble makers are already on bail because of the flag protests and the G8 was held in the arse end of nowhere.

Hey visit here, fuck all to do but hey it's peaceful .... until the 12th July.

Lust At The G8

Angela my wife Iris :::spits:::: doesn't understand me, she isn't German, shes just a slapper. Maybe I could show you around the romantic city of Enniskillen and we could grab a tax payer funded dinner and talk about it..... world leader to world leader.

Peter why don't you show her the ancient crannog (a man made island settlement) oh thats right the A32 road was put on top of it just in time for the G8.

 
You could always show her the stickers put on the windows of empty buildings to make fake shops. I'm sure she hasn't seen anything like that in Germany ...... so full of fail.   

The English All Look The Same To Me

Thou shalt not question authority!

The Fleggers on Saturday's flag protest in Belfast singled out the English police who are over for the G8 and slagged them off for being English .... "God save the Queen now away an fuck ya English cunts!"

This lot support the EDL, BNP and other English groups online but as soon as they are confronted by a real live English person it's all, "go back to yer own cuntry ya English bastard."

Ah the irony.

Hey I love the English and want to stay British ..... I even have an English friend, no fair enough, I wouldn't let one date my daughter, dirty buggers!  

One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish Gurkha!

Due to the G8, security in Belfast is being upgraded to allow for protesters who can't be arsed going out to the sticks of Fermanagh where the G8 is actually being held.

No one wants to go to Fermanagh at the best of times so it made it an ideal choice to hold the G8. 

G8 Protests, Flag protests and Maze shrine protests, maybe with some fighting and bomb scares, the traditional tense feel for Belfast but 21st century style.

There won't be any protests about health or education cuts or the destruction of our environment because the people of Northern Ireland are cunts and all that shite doesn't involve flags, bonfires and culture .... drinking in other words.

Monday when the G8 leaders start to arrive and go to see the sites of Belfast there will be a stand still of traffic around the city.
The crack British regiment The Royal Immigrants ... otherwise known as the Gurkhas will be popping up where you least expect them to counter the threat of dissidents and mouthy law students etc.

Try not to be alarmed and don't make any sudden movements, their English may not be very good but hey, you probably think you speak English too so don't judge. They do understand crying and wetting yerself though.

Do not be surprised if you find yerself being stalked through Primark, you'll probably only really see them when it's too late.
OMG it's a moving Puffer jacket with a large knife!

Old Knudsen was in Yankee Candle looking for a scent to mask rotting flesh and he sensed a presence where ever he went ..... it was the bloody sales staff, for fucks sake they make shoplifting a real challenge. 

Obama Buddy .... Like A G8

Had to reschedule a very important appointment with destiny on Monday cos my old mate Obama will be in town.
According to those who run Belfast, it will be shutdown, cancel any unnecessary trips into the city but hey, coming in to shop is fine ...... no seriously is that all we are to you?

There may be protests, bomb scares and orange coloured slags walking with their arms folded looking for a fag and a shag ... scary. 

I hope Obama doesn't want to drink Guinness and do shots all day ... that really fucked Old Knudsen up the last time.