I Like To Watch Animals Fornicating

Badgers fucking makes my nipples hard. 

Katie Hopkins British television personality and columnist wanted desperately to show she wasn't a horrible attention hoor who just says things to stir controversy and so she sat doon with Old Knudsen to show her better more human side. 

I like to watch animals fornicating, I have done ever since I was little. Sometimes it inspires me to have sex in a beastly animal way. I'd go to the duck pond and watch the ducks fornicate and once I saw them taking turns with a dead duck and it made me tingly all over. Have you ever seen a duck's penis? It's amazing and proof that an intelligent being created all life. 

After a long discussion on animal genitalia (Old Knudsen is a collector too) I asked her about her battle with depression. 

I suffer from depression, immigrants and common people depress me but then I whistle a happy tune and I'm better. If I can manage my depression then so can anyone else, what's your excuse? Snap out of it, you need to stop dwelling on your problems and stop looking for attention. 

One time I was depressed when Waitrose were all out of these roasted quail with wild mushrooms and garlic but it wasn't the end of the world. I pulled myself up by the boot straps, had some chamomile tea and carried on with life. People need to just try harder. Do they not grow tired of the me me me attitude? 

Her struggle with dieting. 

I put on 19kgs (41 LBS) hired a dietitian and a personal trainer and lost it again just to show that fat people are lazy. I'm just a normal person like everyone else so they are all out of excuses. If fat people weren't so lazy they could look as good as I do. I hope that I've inspired someone with my amazing results.
Some use the excuse that they have children or just don't have the time but if you hire a chef a maid and a nanny you'll cut down on chore time and if you wear a nappy (diaper) you'll soon find yourself with so much time on your hands and no more excuses. 

 Poor people and immigrants.

It would be ghastly to say that Hitler was right but I have to admit he did have some really good ideas. Immigrants come to Britain to scrounge off the system and poor people do the same, they can't be happy in life so wouldn't it be doing them a favour to gas them in camps?

Old people. 

I can imagine when I'm old I'd like to not be put out to pasture I'd like to continue working. All those old soldiers love to parade with their medals during remembrance day so why not allow them to reenlist? They were the ones who won WWII so let them go over and sort out Iraq. Our greatest generation being greater. 

Disabled people. 

20 - 30 years ago we never had ramps and hand rails outside of buildings for the disabled but now we do. I think wheelchair ramps are just encouraging people to be disabled. There were no disabled people in Britain until the 1960's but now they are everywhere and that happened under a Labour government.  

Education.

Education is vitally important and if I wasn't a television personality and columnist I'd be a teacher, especially in an all boys school. I think that an attractive older woman like myself could teach young boys how to be young men. In the morning I often stand at my window wearing nothing but an open bathrobe to catch the early morning sun and I see all the lads passing by on the way to school, some of those 13 and 14 year-olds are tall strapping young guys who I sense just need some guidance and maybe a firm hand.  

Who inspires you?

Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher, Winston Churchill, Adolf Hitler, Napoleon, Michael Jackson all the great men. 

Who do you dislike? 

How long do you have? I hate Liberals because they have ruined the country by letting people have access to human rights which was automatically abused by disabled people and homosexuals .... and that American woman Ann Coulter, she's a vile old harpy full of hate, why does anyone put up with her? 

So there you have it, if you had a negative opinion of Katie you'll probably love her now. A beautiful, intelligent and warm hearted woman full of compassion. She is always ready to help people and I don't think they appreciate it. When someone posted the news of a teenager who hung themselves she took the time to tweet saying 'you mean they hanged themselves, try to get it right' and she got a barrage of angry name calling .... some people just don't want to learn I reckon. 

When I told her that I too battle with depression she said, "have you ever just tried to not be depressed?" What an amazing woman. 

Do you still have that image of her with the open bathrobe stuck in yer head? .... yer welcome.