Old Knudsen dusted off his Russian phrase book and went in search of Russian troops on Ukrainian soil. In Ukraine's Luhansk region it didn't take long to find someone that looked out of place.
"I am in Russian army but am on holiday right now, since I enjoy killing people I thought I'd come to Ukraine and enjoy myself. No one made me and look, I have no Russian military badges on my clothes which is my street wear, not a uniform."
Sergei is a big Steven Seagull fan and showed me some choke holds, when I regained consciousness I put my clothes back on and went searching for more Russians, Sergei had no reason to lie to me so I believed him.
It wasn't long before I stumbled upon 400 of these guys. One of them told me that they were not Russia soldiers but are actually doing a reenactment of a Russian World war II battle of Maskirovka which I hadn't heard of but who cares what the Russians did in WWII it was the Yanks that won that one.
They were quite historically accurate though their tanks looked more modern than WWII ... fucking amateurs.
I didn't think I'd find any proof until I met Yelena, like Sergei she too was on vacation. In between her talking to her BF on the phone she cleared it up that the Ukrainians often pretend to be Russians and dress in Russian uniforms and even fire missiles on their own towns and shoot themselves to put the blame on the poor Russians.
If you look at some of these supposed Russian tanks you'll see they are really card board cut outs and very often under those uniforms you'll find sick old people and innocent children that are put in harms way.
Just wow! So don't believe all those pictures on Twitter it's probably photoshap and boy do I feel embarrassed at thinking the Russians were helping the separatists and that soldiers were being ordered to volunteer and fight against the Ukrainians and deny all if caught.
I must tell David Cameron to stop pulling a Chamberlain, he thought that by cutting down the armed forces of the UK to a part time home guard army and by distancing us from the EU that Russia would spare us when the big one came.
Putin has declared that the deaths of soldiers who die during peace time are now a state secret, this is to block the mother of soldiers groups in Russia who want the bodies of their sons returned when they die while on holiday in Ukraine. This seems perfectly reasonable.
To quote the great peace maker himself Vladimir Putin, "Jet fuel may not be able to melt steel beams but it will turn it to putty and cause it to collapse like the great imperialist war machine."
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