Death To The Sheeple

What fucking use is a phone line if the Internet is down? You just don't understand.

What I'm about to tell you will happen in our near future, many of you will die but don't worry cos Old Knudsen makes it through. 

The Segarians are that race of aliens that you probably get mixed up with the Greys but they are taller and meaner .... they WILL anal probe you, not for research but for fun. For centuries they have been interfering in the development of humanity, their purpose is of course world domination but due to funding cuts and other worlds being more profitable their actions are usually seen as meddling in the hope for the long game to change in their favour, to destroy and kill to pass the time. 

 Bush Snr invaded Iraq then pulled out early just for the lolz.

With the aid of human hybrids in high places they have manipulated history and the world with hidden bases everywhere. If you don't believe that some in high places are alien hybrids who care nothing for mankind then look at the world today and think about what some world leaders do. 

Hilary Clinton as Secretary of State traveled the world promoting Fracking saying that shale gas could help rewrite global energy politics. Bulgaria, Romania and Poland being her main targets in Europe with Poland promising nearly a third of it's territory to shale gas exploration.... Fracking has to be alien, what human could sell out it's own planet by poisoning it?  Also secretaries type, file and give blowjobs, this is not the normal state of a secretary. 

 

  

People walking doon a street looking at their phones .... doesn't seem like normal behaviour does it? It isn't, it's addictive and compulsive behaviour. Soon all movies that depict real life will have people looking down at their phones and mumbling their lines like a distracted Al Pacino. 

A 20 year-old woman recently checked her Facebook without realising that some crazy 89 year-old grandmother was going to pick that time to jump in front of her car to kill herself.  Do people not know how difficult it is to check yer kitty porn on Facebook while doing 85 mph? 

I find it difficult to believe that people can have that much to say.

After improving on human technology and giving everyone a pocket sized computer to utter their inane mutterings into from anywhere at anytime, the Segarians relied on our own addictive personalities.

Already weakened by the norms of society and the poisons that are legally put into our food and water we become slaves to a tiny screen and hooked on what instant updates we get, at the mercy of their space rays of doom, seeping into our brains from phones we willingly bought and can't live without. 

Why haven't they replied, it's been at least 4 minutes? What do you mean they might have something better to do? I HAVE NEEDS DAMN IT!

Then it happened. 

      

The Internet went doon, you could no longer hide the fact that yer a moron by blaming autocorrect on every stupid thing you wrote. I think I may be getting dick today cos I am so hot! ... sick, I meant sick. Hope I get cock too. 

After the first three hours of constantly checking yer phone the panic started to set in. The sweating and the fidgeting that couldn't be calmed by drugs fegs or glue had people climbing the walls. 

Then people remembered about the aurora borealis and went outside and did something they hadn't done in years, they looked up. 

The light show which had been set up by the Segarians reacted with the years of Segarian conditioning they had been doing via cell phones. The Internet lull only lasted 24 hrs but became known as the 24 hour year, like OMG.

Within days many people fell into vegetative states, Old Knudsen's love life improved 98%. They could not be awakened and died, one third of the world's population died.... so many unanswered texts, what a waste. 

Distraught, the rest of the world took to social media to meme and twat about it, then Apple (a Segarian company) invented the iBox in which you no longer had to look at the real world ever. You could walk doon a virtual street and even get virtually mugged cos you weren't paying attention .... literally in a figurative way. 

Of course within seconds of being stabbed for yer wallet you could easily put it up on Twatter, I think I've lost a least 2 pints of blood, lucky I'm not in Europe as I don't know what that would be in liters :(

The Segarians like to decimate the Earth's population now and again like with a world war followed by a flu outbreak, then followed by another world war. The Middle East is full of Segarian hybrids which is why the West doesn't seem to do enough to stop them.   

Being a psychic time traveling sex offender, is a great burden and those lucky few who read this warning shall now be prepared. I can't say exactly when it will happen as I've said too much, it's like a month before that giant asteroid full of space Ebola hits us and triggers a new ice age.