Monday, 1 December 2008

Weemen Are For Poofs

Do you honestly think I sit around going "oh what am I going to post? I don't have a clue, how can I make people like me and get lots of readers?" well I don't cos I'm on the edge ya see.

I had a full and busy weekend cos on the edge yer out there doing it fer real, this ain't no TV show where you get loads of takes to get it right and this ain't no reality show with set up scenarios. I could be taking a dump and I'll get the buzz on me implant giving me orders, sometimes its confusing as God often talks to me or the heads in my fridge, mention the heads to the police and I'll deny everything and have you killed there is room on the top shelf.


Wasn't it a beautiful sunset tonight?


I joined this biker gang called the Rough Riders, their motto is "Weeman are for poofs" cos they are too tough to hang about with gurls. I've been through a lot in my life but maybe I'm getting too old but either I wasn't hard enough for these guys or hardness has gotten harder and more firm, my BMX could not keep up with their motorbikes so I had to drop out. I didn't get a refund on my membership nor the DNA samples they took from my member, their vetting procedures were very thorough and all done from a hole in the wall.


Well I believe I've been hung out to dry, the same thing happened to Bond. They declassified him and as soon as he walked into any Indian casino the bad guy stroking the pussy knew who he was. Not very good for a spy. By showing this card I can get discounts in hardware stores and in KFC on Wednesdays.

I went on a mission to Mars. Yes I know it takes years to get there but when yer huffing Methylated spirits you can take a short cut. I know meth kills but so does having a crap just ask Elvis about that. Yes we found a face on Mars, some say its signs of a former civilisation and others have dismissed it as a trick of the light. I don't know I can't really see anything, like those magic eye pictures I never got them either. We did find water on Mars, well after we dumped out our toilet reservoirs maybe something will evolve from it or from the parasites in my shit.


The male ego mixed in with German pride many people have speculated why the Germans always lose at war, well on one hand you have Ed Harris commanding tank units in the desert and on the other you have Old Knudsen................ Ka-Chow!


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7 comments:

Momentary Madness said...

The only way not to lose a war is to be like the Russians, you fight with the winning side, and run away from the wars you do start.

Did you say Meth, I must fly.
O yes, now I remember what it was I wanted to say: "what a lovely pair of balls so smooth and round, or was it a lovely sunset. O fuck I forget. Bollix.
See you

Anonymous said...

Rommel hat euch den Arsch aufgerissen!

Leah said...

I do hope that you at least kept the cock ring as a souvenir of your better days with the Riders.

M@ said...

I would have been lousy in 'Nam. "Y'all Vietnamese folks know how to get to De Nang?"

Old Knudsen said...

MM I knew you were confused because the smooth balls..... oh never mind you'll find out some day.

mago Ed Harris I tell ya, enemy at the gates.

leah I kept the whole rooster.

matt thanks for the flashbacks I know how to get to put-tang.

MJ no she isn't everyone sends me naked pics.

leah ever see a grown man naked?

Jenny said...

grrrrr.... Leah.

Old Knudsen said...

she wants it!