Thursday, 18 December 2008

Hitler Stole My Camel Toe

I may have previously mentioned about how I am a fallen Angel cast out of Heaven because of my pride. I had a shite and marveled at the long unbroken turd in the bog and said, "This is good" and then God said, "Knudsen yer out".

Maybe I shouldn't have shouted, "St Peter, get yer camera!"

Like Lucifer I've been promoted to Earth and now do the unseemly work that God doesn't want to be seen doing and often become the patsy when people say "Why did this happen?" God has to look good you know its all politics.

I get directions from God from either voices in my head, The Company , CIA or Wet Works Inc. I have to work out many of my missions by clues in life. If I see the words 'kill' and the next person I see is a postman then obviously I have to kill a postman. Its all very confusing and heavenly, you wouldn't understand just being meat sacks with souls.

Being around for a long time I sometimes forget the social do's and don'ts.

When you go to the Post office to collect yer pension its never a good idea to say to the lady behind the glass, "I bet yer Quim tastes like strawberries and cream."

Or while sitting on a bench at a park you must be careful about what small talk you use. Don't say to a young mother, "Thats a very attractive child you have there, very nice. Do you live around here?"

Sometimes people mistakenly invite me to parties and I have to remember to not break the ice by saying, "Hitler had the right idea you know". People just have a knee jerk reaction, stupid really. What I mean is when he said in 1938 "We need breathing rooms" that fella was a head of his time. After cumming to sunny Callyfornia and the terrible smog I think Hitler's idea of breathing rooms is a great idea, you go in and have some clean oxygen and then back to facing the third world cuntry that is America.

Speaking of Hitler. That mustache he had was all the rage back then. In fact very popular in Great Britain at the time. Hitler used to sport a longer "Kaiser"- style mustache and it was suggested he was told to trim it into the toothbrush mustache because it would interfere with his gas mask when he served during WWI.

It isn't surprising that the Toothbrush mustache fell out of favour in the west after WWII.

The pledge of allegence here in the US was saluted the same way the Nazis saluted because America totally ripped off The Roman Empire in numerous aspects which is dumb as we know what happened to them. The Nazis yet again influenced the world and the Americans stopped it.

Nice Roman type eagles you have there.

Now of course the Yanks cover their cold blackened hearts when they robot like recite the pledge, thats assumming they can find it.

Hitler was also a member of a socialist party but considering nothing he did was socialist I don't see what problem America has with it.

Barney is all about sharing and treating each other with respect is he a socialist? he also has camel toe if you'll notice.

Does that mean that camel toe is bad? If you answer yes then you have gone way too far my friend.

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7 comments:

Leah said...

Old Knudsen, I would like to see you in a Kaiser-style mustachio. And how 'bout some muttonchops?

That is one hell of a camel toe on Barney. Weird too because it always seemed to me that his pants fit nice and loose. I think it's deliberate.

Romeo Morningwood said...

Pleased to meet you,
I guessed your name
doo doo
doo doo

Well atleast you have one third of the angles to keep you company..could have been worse.

I appreciate your concern for the demise for the toothbrush moustachio..one would think that Mr Chaplin's would cancel Mr Hitler's but the latter seems to have made more of an impression on the great unwashed.

I am shocked at the degree of Barney's cameltoe..it's always fun kissing underneath at christmas time....but I always thought that he was a boy dinosaur?

The Mistress said...

Show us your moose knuckle.

Jenny said...

What MJ said.

Momentary Madness said...

My toe is at me, I'm scratching all the time.

h said...

Darned near everything Hitler did was Socialist, Knudles. That's why the closeted ghey Socialist "King" Edward supported him before and to some extent DURING the war.

Old Knudsen said...

leah you like the dinosaur camel toe huh? you bad gurl.

DC Chaplin had one so it wouldn't hide his expressions and as for barney who knows?

mJ, I respect the mighty moose unlike palin.

boxer what I said.

MM clean yer applicator

Matt well you never know if someone is going to speak english or not.

Trolly destroying yer cuntry is not socialism nor is death camps, if it was then I say America deserves socialism.