If there are any children in the room quickly bring the wee fuckers over and show them the picture, see what happens when Sesame Street tries to promote healthy food? it kills you. For years Cookie Monster was content with his moment on the lips and a lifetime on his hips, he was happy. Now they take away the cookie and say "here Cookie Monster have a nice healthy piece of broccoli" cruel and unusual treatment for a long time employee, now the Cookie Monster has an identity crisis and is on anti- depressants, the poor bastard.
Elmo was always the yes man, that's how he became the star. If life was fair the 7 foot retarded 50 year old yellow bird should be the star, he was there from the beginning. I guess Hollywood wasn't ready to break the bird mong barrier, I like my mongs like Forest Gump, you know a heart of gold that won't lick yer face and that you can still take the piss out of, I call them 'mong lite'.
I've always wanted to find a dead body, preferably an attractive woman but so far that hasn't happened.
While out yesterday with my grandson Gavin we saw the lifeless body of Elmo on some waste ground, we think his heart gave out, must of been all that healthy eating. I heard the guy that invented the power bar, a real fitness freak dropped dead of a heart attack while standing in a bank queue.
Let this be a warning to anyone that jogs or eats things like salad and drinks water, do you know what fish do in water? well at least the children are safe from 'Tickle me Elmo' which sounds like a Pedo chat up line.
Elmo was always the yes man, that's how he became the star. If life was fair the 7 foot retarded 50 year old yellow bird should be the star, he was there from the beginning. I guess Hollywood wasn't ready to break the bird mong barrier, I like my mongs like Forest Gump, you know a heart of gold that won't lick yer face and that you can still take the piss out of, I call them 'mong lite'.
I've always wanted to find a dead body, preferably an attractive woman but so far that hasn't happened.
While out yesterday with my grandson Gavin we saw the lifeless body of Elmo on some waste ground, we think his heart gave out, must of been all that healthy eating. I heard the guy that invented the power bar, a real fitness freak dropped dead of a heart attack while standing in a bank queue.
Let this be a warning to anyone that jogs or eats things like salad and drinks water, do you know what fish do in water? well at least the children are safe from 'Tickle me Elmo' which sounds like a Pedo chat up line.
12 comments:
For some weird reason, I'm always looking in the bushes at freeway intersections to see if I can spot a lifeless arm or a leg.
Not that I would have sex with one if I found one, I would, of course, inform the authorities immediately.
But I know where you are coming from.
Funny but I never mentioned sex with dead people.......disgusting.
depending on the damage.
depending on the damage.
Th best you can hope for is dislocated hips.
Poor auld Elmo. Yours Truely
Thank god for Bert and Ernie, they are still taking meat and enjoying each other!
"Saint Elmo you are Fired"......... thus spake God & he saw it was good (sorry for the language ,Ive just been reading the Bible)
.........the new Statue the priest has just ordered for our Church (to be placed next to the confessional) will brighten up the place a lot.
God Moves in Mysterious ways.........
Just don't start on Bert & Ernie
Dead Elmo = Happy Friday.
That whole Cookie Monster thing just pisses me off. I mean, what the hell? A cookie isn't going to kill a kid. It's all the other crap that they're getting that's dangerous.
Kill Elmo, the little fucker come lately to Sesame Street. His voice annoys me. While we're at it, can Snuffy be invisible again?
Elmo's voice was annoying anyway. Now burt and ernie... were those guys gay or just really close friends?
Note to self, everyone hates Elmo and Burt and Ernie are ghey, the rage adults hide about puppets is amazing, I must do a week long celebration on this.
A little detective work will show large footprints near the scene of the crime and purple fur snagged on the bushes, mark my words. It's Barney wot's to blame! Barney killed Elmo and did something so terrible to a Wiggle that he can't work in children's broadcasting ever again.
Barney's behind it all. He'll kill again. He's drunk on his own fame and power. Nobody will prosecute him though. He'll just play the reptile card and win the jury over with songs about camping and s'mores.
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