Sunday, 22 April 2007

Ode To My Itch

I was a bit disappointed as Flo told me she was an 18 year old virgin from Arbroath, ach I should have known she was lying as there is no such thing.


My Itch it started a week ago,
Given to me by a hoor named Flo.
It was doon at the docks late one dark night,
She gave me the works though my wallet was light.
I got more than I wanted from her stinky wide slot,
Now I must see a Doctor so he can give me a shot.
I scratch in the morning and all night in bed,
The balls the shaft and the smegma clogged head.
I've learned my lesson please feel sorry for me,
it burns like fuck when I'm taking a pee.
No more hoors for me for the rest of my life,
I'll become celibate, good idea I'll get me a wife.

10 comments:

Old Knudsen said...

I rubbed it with half a potato and buried it on the night of a full moon and it got rid of my warts, the onion just made me horny.

The Mistress said...

You might want to try a leek instead.

Momentary Madness said...

You never know it might be crab salad for supper or soup with a ham sandwich.

Momentary Madness said...

Sounds like a dose of the most to me. Ha!

Gorilla Bananas said...

When you saw her face you should have thought "this one's for outercourse, not intercourse". Her skin would have been fine with a bit of ointment.

Old Knudsen said...

You can see her face is beautiful, well beautiful for £10.00.

tony said...

An Old Polish Saying (which i just made up)
When in Arbroath, Dont Do Anything Rash

Maven said...

"The Bard's" got nuttin' on you, Knudsen!

Anonymous said...

Syphilis...it just started with a simple kiss...now it hurts to take a piss.

Old Knudsen said...

More than a kiss, well not on the mouth.