Beam Me Up God

Everyone knows that Easter celebrates the torturing to death of Jesus and then him getting beamed up into the Mother ship as a big fuck you to the deity killing Jews as he passed over their heads right?
Well it was all about politics and changing the old faiths to the new shiny ones, weemen had way too much power and as we all know the little dears can't handle that, "oh two sugars in me tea is fine love, got any bickies?"

There are so many different Goddess names but today's word Easter cums from the Goddess Eostre , Ostara or Astarte,

the month of April was sacred to her and her festival was celebrated on the day of the vernal equinox.

Back in the day the time of year and what the land did was more important than it is today as villages depended on the crops and the hunting to live, no running doon to the Spar for a carton of milk.
They celebrated Spring as that's when plants started to cum back to life and animals felt the need to mate(I know I do) with the hope to please the Goddess and have a good year.
The saying "mad as a March Hare" cums from the males trying to get their hole and the female fighting them off before giving in, so people thought that spring made them crazy, just like all of my sexual conquests.
Easter Bunnies, Rabbits and Hares are famous for their prolific breeding and are sacred to the Goddess, the maypole is just a big penis that people dance around, now a Bunny goes around hiding eggs for some reason, answer me why?

In Australia Rabbits are pests so they are trying to introduce something called a Bilby, a marsupial rat thing, good luck on yer Easter Bilbies, I don't think the Aussies really get it .

A Bilby stole my baby.

Eggs have always been a symbol of fertility and rebirth and painted ones have been used in egg rolling contests or given as gifts, as you know the various colours have different meanings such as pink for love and red for passion or life and brown for please let me take a dump on yer chest. The Russians used to lay red eggs on to graves as resurrection charms.


Guess what colour his egg was.

According to the story, the goddess Eostre found a wounded bird in the snow. To help the little bird survive the winter, she transformed it into a rabbit, but the transformation was incomplete and the rabbit retained the ability to lay eggs. In thanks for its life being saved, the rabbit took the eggs and decorated them and left them as gifts for Eostre.

Fair play to her, do you know how hard it is to change a bird into a rabbit? Even God has trouble making descent humans.


Cum an have a go if ya think yer hard enough.