Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Suicide Is Painless

Old Knudsen has recently heard about people who felt suicidal going to the hospital emergency room or A&E (accident and emergency) as it is known in the UK  and not getting any help but instead they were sent home.
One gurl slit her wrists and was left waiting for 8 hours before being told there were no beds and she had to go home. She wrote to the health minister for help but who hasn't? .... that Poots cunt never replies BTW.
Another man was discharged from the A&E with a post it note stuck to his jacket and was sent to a suicide support group.

Total rubbish! as if the NHS could be that bad. Old Knudsen was feeling blue, if you have read this blog religiously since 2006 you deserve a fucking medal but you'd also know that Old Knudsen has a black dog of depression that follows him through life.

If you were Old Knudsen and had no other equal to talk to you'd be depressed too. Everything seems to happen at the weekend and I was ready to end it all.
I walked through the rain on the way to the A&E my will to live and inner strength lessening with each step. I walked into a crowded room. Bored annoyed people coughing, bleeding and sleeping in whatever space they could, it was reminiscent of the old slaver ships I used to sail back in the day.

I walked over to reception behind some guy that said he might have something trapped inside his rectum but would not give many details, he was told to sit and wait but every time he tried to sit you could hear a small animal squeaking in pain.    

The hard faced receptionist had the usual Norn Iron customer service skills, "whats wrong with you?" ah where to start?  "I feel lost, alone and hopeless and want to kill myself" she took some details from me then told me to wait to be seen.

After 6 hours the psychiatry nurse saw me, . "Well I'm very worried about you Mr Knudsen but we don't have any beds, what I'll do is I'll give you a list to help you beat the blues and you can log on to Mind your head .org and maybe go see your GP."

Well my GP told me to wise up and said I didn't look depressed and the website is full of services that they don't offer. I took the list and left, quietly making plans in my head on how to kill an immortal time lord.

Then I looked at the list:

1) Look on the bright side, theres always someone worse off than you.

2) Get out of the house and go for a walk.

3) Keep yourself busy and go have some fun.

4) Snap out of it and pull yourself together.

5) Drink yourself happy and if you become an alcoholic we'll actually give you some treatment as that is now an illness and not a made one like depression.

You know what? Old Knudsen suddenly felt better.  I got some drink then went for a walk, something Old Knudsen likes to do is target shooting so I'll buy a rifle online and head up to yon bell tower opposite the hospital. Life is good when it has purpose.