Wednesday 23 April 2008

The 6 Spots Of Death

You know what I saw in Mongolia? yaks and mongs. No Xanadu, Kubla Khan or even Chakka Khan, Chakka Khan.


I saw a story on the web that was titled '6 spots to see before you die' this panicked me greatly as I had developed several large weeping spots on my penal system.
I pulled doon me gunties and counted, thank fuck there were only 5.
I call that irresponsible writing, scaring an Old man who is in God's waiting room.
I don't get telemarketers making constant phone calls but instead the Grim Reaper " Old Knudsen this is death, I have some important business information for you, please call me back at ************."

Yeah right I will, the Nazis haven't got me, Dog the fucking bounty bar hunter hasn't got me all those weemen with their paternity suits haven't got me and nor will death.

It was a travel site with 6 destinations to go to, well I counted and my maths not being too good since book learnin gave me heart burn I only counted 5, I added the last one to insult you.

Mount Kilimanjaro
Alaska
Mongolia
Antarctica
Atlantic Ocean
Yer Ma's G-spot

I've been to all 6 of these, yep 'all' 6 and they were crap and I'm still alive so fuck yous, ok the last one did give me the clap and spawned you but hey I'm still standing except right now I'm sitting.
At the end of the world it will be me and Keith Richards feeding off cockroaches and maybe if I'm desperate enough I'll make him feed off my cock for that terrible film appearance in that terrible pirate movie he was in.


11 comments:

tony said...

Have you noticed they begin with either "A" OR "M" which makes me think you should add Mytholmroyd to your list.
Infact.......i think the cockroaches + Keef have already arrived inthe place....

The Mistress said...

Tony's right about places staring with "M" and "A".

And if you put "M" + "A" together, you get yer "MA"!

Bunny said...

Let me rock you, that's all I wanna do . . .

sorry, I'm easily distracted

Jenny said...

that was Keith Richard? Damn, I thought it was just great work from the make-up department to create a dried up, withered old pirate.

h said...

Grrrherhahahahahahaha. Funny post that brought back memories of my sexcapade with Chakka Khan as a yute. Twas pretty good.

The Atlantic Ocean made the list?
Did you mean Atlantis?

Momentary Madness said...

Knudsen, I don't believe a word. There's no chance you get the clap from one hand s/clappin'.

Paddy in BA (Quickroute) said...

Daddy? - is that really you?

Old Knudsen said...

tony The STD clinic in Arbroath is worth the visit.

mj how dare you insult my MA.

bunny I understand, the 60's were good to you.

a boxer I thought it was one of them animatronic thingys.

trolly don't talk to me about Atlantis, snooty cunts worse than the French.

MM is that the story she told you, MM I am yer father, embrace my backside.

Old Knudsen said...

quickroute If yer green and look like Shrek quite possibly.

Kimberly said...

O.K.....
I'm getting tired of bouncing all over trying to find out..

(But I did it Fur Me Ma!!!)

Are YOU my daddy??
Or is it Kieth???

When you hit it that many times with that many forgettable women, You guys should have at least kept a filing system on that sort of thing......

Old Knudsen said...

weemen should have their names on the backs of their heads.