I'm not up to much this weekend, I may only have one foot but its a pain reaching doon as I get dizzy so I may have let my nails go a bit. I'll pamper meself and let my grandson Gavin clip them, I do like to spoil the lad.
Then I'm splashing out to watch a cage match between two of nature most fearsome animals. Bears maybe so cuddly looking but since losing my leg to the Great White Panda I no longer try to rub their bellies or anything else .I wonder who will win, it looks pretty even to me. Next week a Koala meets up with a Grizzly.
Did ya hear about the Australian couple who fought off a croc? Norm Pethrick came to the rescue when a crocodile got his wife Wendy . Norm who was a big Tarzan fan jumped on its back and stuck his fingers in its eyes until it let go.
Maybe he thinks shes hot or maybe she still gives head even after being married or cooks well but you wouldn't catch me jumping into no water with a croc in it.
My 5th wife (god rest her soul) got ate by a boa constrictor. I tried my best to save her by bravely running in zig zags and playing dead all to no effect. I think the flash on my camera bothered it a bit though so I got a small victory. Funny how that snake turned up in our hoose like that.
7 comments:
You could fight off any predator with your toenails.
I got the rest, but tell me: the Australian couple; which one is the wife?
My grandfather had one long fingernail. It was entirely gross. Gramps, if you could trim the others, why leave that one? Why?
Good heavens! It's the Paisley-McGuiness Scrotum Scratcher. Haven't seen one of those since Long Kesh.
Tell us again how you lost your other foot?
Ah, the Great White Panda of the Pennines.
Epic.
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