Iron Man Knudsen

I like them der superhero jobbies. The X-men were a favourite and did ok in the cinema, I don't like Superman, Spiderman or Batman ::::yawns:::: and the Hulk is shite but I do like what they have done with this new Iron-man film. Robert Downey Jr was a shock playing the lead but I think he'll be good and the effects don't look too computer game.

Now I have a confession to make, I am the original Iron-man. You see it had to cum from a true story otherwise they'd call him something like Stainless Steel man.

It was 1963 I had just come back from some grassy knoll business in Texas and was looking in the pharmacy section of 'Boots' for some pills to cure my anemia cos as you regular readers know I became a vampire at one point in my life, for those people who only look at my blog for tits go find that post it has some great tit pictures, no really I wouldn't waste yer time by tricking you to look at a humourous well written post......................... unworthy cunts!

Then something happened that would change my life forever, or at least for a few weeks. I reached for a bottle of iron tablets but jostled the display and 100 iron tablet bottles fell on me. I lay there in a state of semi consciousness as the 14 pints of stout I drank earlier had started to effect me. The manager came round and chucked me out of the store.

When I got home I started to notice somethings, my shit had turned black and I could get the BBC world service in my left ear, well what do you do in a situation like that? I'll tell ya what you build yerself a suit of powered armour with a cyberpathic link to control it. I made sure I put a torch (flashlight) in the chest so when I was flying about commercial aeroplanes could see me.

I was super strong and could defrost food with beams from my hands I'd call my microwaves . I found other talented outcasts like myself, Captain Killamory who had the power to deflect rocks with a dustbin lid, The Wasp, being a White Anglo Saxon Protestant she had the power to sting people with her superiority and make them feel small by talking doon to them, then there was Hawkeye, he was the last of the Mohicans and an ex army doctor who served in Korea.

We called ourselves 'The Revengers.'

Purse snatchers kids playing ball against the hooses and double parkers felt our justice but then tragedy struck.

We came up against a gang of super villains who had the power to use machine guns, my armour held and protected me against the bullets unlike my brave companions, that was the time I decided to quit The Revengers . With my chest torch shattered and no longer able to shine the light of justice and black tar like shit emitting out of my bum vent I took off into the sky just in time to smack into an aeroplane.

I climbed up onto the wing and some guy looked out and started screaming, I fell off before anyone else could see me so no one believed him.

I plummeted doon to earth but luckily Killamory had the largest mattress factory in the North because it was right because the concrete block factory that I landed on.

I went next door and applied for a job making mattresses and I was hired on the spot and that adventure has to wait for another day.

Did I ever mention the time when I fell into a vat of preparation H or when a radioactive midget bit me?

Lucky it wasn't Copper tone or skin bronzer that fell on me cos that would be a really crap superhero.

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