The Crazy Ghey Phone Stalker

"Who are you wearing?"

I watch the red carpet shite at the Oscars even though I'm straight if anyone asks and it bugs me when the question is always "who are you wearing?" I want some big star who is confident in themselves to turn up wearing something off the rack in fact I saw suits being sold in Wal-Mart the other day, wouldn't it be great it Clooney with his smug I can charm any woman I want by just a wobble of his head grin to say "Wal-Mart!" I'm sure the Chinese make great suits.

I had phone sex the other night so my answering machine is a bit violated and wonky but if you tap out yer message in Morse code I should be able to get it. By the way phone sex and even cyber sex is shite as the stuff they make these days can't take a good pounding but hey I cum.

Oh and if you read this blog yer computer may get a virus as I've had a weeping sore on me bell end (not Dell end) for about a week now.

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If You Can't Be With The One You Love Then Love The One Yer With

What is the story to this picture? Many people think my bedroom wall is covered with photos of myself but no its covered with photos of you my beautiful readers.

Did this gurl meet a guy only to find when she got to his bedroom he was her stalker? She looks kinda dozy maybe shes been drugged with Aqua dots or drugged with the realisation that by appearing on Old Bitter Balls her modeling career is effectively over.


Yes it is my room and we did make sweet love all night and then cried in each others arms as the sun came up and we fell asleep to the chorus of birds outside our window and the gentle shouting and swearing of the bin men when they found my wheelie bin to be half full of feces as my toilet is bunged up.


Ok the truth is I lured her to my hoose with my charm and sex appeal, the photos did freak her out a bit but not as much as me using the commode while I took this picture, the look on her face was just as she threw up into her mouth. Five seconds later she remembered something important she had to do and bolted for the door, what a strange gurl and she forgot to leave me her number but don't worry I know where she lives.