Showing posts with label my niece. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my niece. Show all posts

Saturday, 8 September 2007

This Old Infidel Hoose


More details of the Osama Bin Laden video tape have been released. To prove to the world that hes still alive and the tape is a recent one Bin Laden mentioned the hoose mortgaging problems going on in the US.
Bin Laden had his own TV show on Aljazeera called 'flip this infidel hoose' in which he would renovate hooses in major cities around the world that were close to military installations and after the reconnaissance sell them at a profit, my favourite part of it was the surprise secret tunnels and that episode in which the S.W.A.T. team led by Robert Urich shot the producer dead. Osama also had a chuckle at Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehoose who he said were dirty infidel hoors who must be beheaded immediately, then he said Allah was love peace out.


God's representative on earth the Reverend Doctor Ian Tiberius Paisley, the first First minister of Northern Ireland has announced that for fear of a conflict of interest in his roles he will step doon as the moderator of the Free Presbyterian church. His duties were to break up fights and to close the bar at 11pm, and if you got too drunk he always made sure you got to yer car safely.
The Free Presbyterians will miss his moderations and voice of reason in this chaotic world where sin is in the hearts of every man woman and child and they shall all burn in a fiery pit of damnation unless they are Free Presbyterians of course.


When asked to comment Gerrie Antoinette said, "let the dirty Prods eat cake as long as its Fenian cake made by unwashed Fenian hands as is our way."


My niece started her new school this week, things went well and the teachers have been offering extra tuition if she needs it a very accommodating bunch of people.

Tuesday, 14 August 2007

One Year Old Today You Cunts Thought I Wouldn't Make It But Oh No What Does My Piss Taste Like Now?

I got an award, not one of yer pass it on to 8 other meme awards either this is an OBE (Old Bitter Egocentric award) the Queen gave me this for raising the standards for blogging over the past year, this and a case of the clap.

Tomorrow is my old Ma's birthday and the anniversary for the Omagh bombing but who gives a shit because today is my blog birthday. One year old. At The Start I sat and looked at my blog for 2 days before I posted because I said, "what the fuck do I want a blog for?" well it so happened that the blogosphere really needed me and so here I am.
If you want to read my first proper post on Fat Sparrow's blog then go HERE if you don't then fuck off back to yer Alpine gardening you corn farmer.

Its been an interesting year of blogging, I've entertained, pissed off and broke a few hearts along the way, a few of my original readers still come around and I've got a ton of new ones all bright and shiny like I once was. Thankyou all for reading and I hope I don't waste yer time too much with shite posts and dirty pictures.

Speaking of which they say money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you this lass. I managed to track doon my niece after they deported her, well I think its my niece as they all tend to look the same to me, what am I bid? do I hear £2000 ?



Ok I actually do give a fuck about my Ma's birthday and the Omagh bombing, two occasions I'll never forget.