His Only Crime Was Being A Mong

A 21 year old mentally retarded man was arrested today for climbing on top of the gates at Belfast city hall singing songs and waving a Union flag. He stayed on the gates for 45 minutes singing pop songs that had 'No surrender' added throughout and only came doon when he couldn't think of anything else to sing.

The young man who has not been named yet, offered hugs but only to Protestant police officers as a way of saying sorry ..... when his offer was declined he took a dead mouse from his pocket that looked as if it had been chewed upon and threw it at the officers.

So Tempting

I think that you might think yer teasing me with yer sexy ways learned from years of watching the Disney channel.
Maybe some 18 year-old drunken redneck hick might fall for it but that doesn't mean yer hawt!  The neighbour's pet dog gets Cletus aroused for fucks sake.  

Retard Your Behaviour

You know the way Northern Ireland Loyalists will say that the Catholics killed during Bloody Sunday march probably deserved it and shouldn't have been there ..... they conveniently ignore that the British government have said that it was murder basically and that the soldiers were at fault.

These same Loyalists play the victims card non-stop these days. They don't realise how good they have it and that half of the world is laughing at their silly self entitled attitudes, oh the other half don't know about any of this fleg shite as no one cares .... yes that includes Amnesty International so quit phoning them. 

In Ballymena .... the home town of Liam Neeson. 52 year-old Trevor Ashcroft was arrested obstructing a road an disorderly behavior. He was also later charged with criminal damage to a police cell. 

This is the second time hes been arrested. It seems that Trev is a bit slow, according to the Loyalist Facebook pages he has the mind of a 12 year-old. 

The Loyalists are going nuts and calling the police every rude, disrespectful name under the sun as they claim that they beat him (they always say that) but I have a question. 

What kind of people bring a mong to a protest? 

You knew he was volatile yet you brought him to a potentially dangerous situation TWICE and complained when he got arrested.
Knowing 12 year-olds the fleggers got him worked up and he probably started something that the police had to end, 12 year-olds are wee mean fuckheads. 

Well done protesters, you bring old people, weemen and children and now tards out to yer protests in the hope that they get hurt so you can claim outrage .... you probably deserved it and shouldn't have been there. 
When the police start shooting at you then you can play the victim card, now you just look like whiny pussies who haven't yet witnessed anything close to police brutality.  

Let me know when this happens. Oh and you know what? since you keep saying that the IRA and Sinn Fein are in charge of the police did you know that they got priests in to bless the water cannons so when you were sprayed with water you got turned into Catholics as you were there voluntarily? ... yeah it's all true, the Pope told me. 
S/F have been calling for arrests since last year and no one listened, just because they have arrested people now doesn't mean anyone is still listening. Yer breaking the law .... fuck off to jail.   

I don't agree with the PSNI tactics for these protests/riots as I would shoot into the crowd and smash some heads merely for the disrespect they have shown for the Queen's flag and the Queen's law. Why are they called Loyalists? who are they loyal too? 
They are behaving more like traitors in my book and continuing the job the IRA have been doing for decades of ruining Northern Ireland. 

Scared stupid people who are being bred into a minority and they fear getting treated the way they have treated the Catholics. 

I do however say a big well done to the police officers as it is a difficult job especially when the judicial system doesn't back you up. The restraint you have shown by not putting these fools out of our misery has been amazing. 

I do have another question. Is there anyone in Ballymena with the mentality higher than that a 12 year-old? 

Old Knudsen's Haunted Hoose

I have complied a series of disturbing and frightening images to disturb and frighten you for Halloween. Ghosts and Vampires are old hat, if it scares me then it should scare you too.

AH! mongs and their happy inappropriate closeness.



Oh no! its not just a Lemur but a lemur yob.


Stop the seal killings, kill them all before they get you.

Quick run its the Cyber men.

Creepy creepy fucking creepy.

Daddy's gurl? more like Daddy's window licker.


Not the Scottish speedos, save me Jesus!

GENITAL HERPES................ Thank you Troll for the picture.

Thats how they get the holes into donuts.


Now try to sleep after this post.



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Mongs Kill People Not Bombs

Hey put on this belt, yer going to Disneyland.

Just when you thought Al-Qaeda couldn't get any lower they have. The scum bag terrorists put bombs onto two mentally disabled weemen, sent them into a busy market and blew them up by remote control.

The exploding mongs killed over 70 people out doing their shopping.
I've never understood the terrorist ability to do anything it takes to kill civilians, and to what end?
A different religion the same religion, the outrage of foreign soldiers on their soil it doesn't matter to them because they just care about what they want not what their people want.
Like an army of dumb as shit serial killers, fuck I hate terrorists.

What are they running out of young dumb teenage fanatics that they use mongs and babies as they used the other week?

You have so much to live for please don't push the button. I must say I have in fact probably had worse blowjobs, never date an epileptic woman with overbite.

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Mongs, Whats That About?

I was reading a column in the paper that had this guy who is a therapist or something daft like that, not a real job. He was talking about people using the word "retarded" to describe the stupid actions of another or to insult someone as a "retard" for making a mistake. He said how much he disapproved of the expression as it insulted handicapped people.

I thought about this for a while and then burst out laughing at this bleeding heart, if people didn't get on like mongs then they wouldn't get called a mong.

Also tell all those retards to stop looking so fucking goofy all the time and take the handicapped role a bit more seriously those mongs are having way too much fun no wonder with people waiting on them hand and foot, cool robot things to talk through and wee motorised chairs to whizz about on, when did being fucking useless mean yer set for life? a 30 odd year life but still . The Romans and Spartans never had any mongs, they threw them over a cliff at birth if there was something wrong with them, of course they did have a stray dog problem.

Get all the tards out into the workforce, not just in I.T. and the police but in other areas, you never see "Tard porn?" any thoughts on the subject? I mean real tards not Paris Hilton. If ya cared about mongs then you should want them to get a happy ending now and again.

Don't get all teary eyed and angry at me they don't know what the fuck is going on at the best of times, and yes I fully expect a commenter or two to mention a mong relative they have, tell it to someone who woke up caring. I had one on a chain in my backyard, the wee fucker got out and bit one of the kids next door, I had to have Spunky put doon, the amount of grief I got from that kid's parents.

Mongs while protected under Human rights have 74% of their cells non-human or unknown. It is speculated by Jan Fran Jansen famed Swiss UFO-ologist that mongs are the result of failed Alien/hybrid breeding experiments gone wrong. I on the other hand think these mongs are super clever and its just an act and they are lazy fuckers who get some perverse pleasure out of creeping me out and making me feel uncomfortable. Can they not have plastic surgery or something? c'mon, people get their dogs done these days.

I have nothing against window lickers who stand inappropriately too close to you and try to be yer friend when you just want them to fuck off , however the best way to stop Global warming if it actually exists is to cut doon on people, something to think about.

This Is Not A Drill, Its A Gun.

During recent discussions we have debated in a lively fashion about the responsibilities adults have in relation to children under their care. In Tennessee a place I know nothing about and would never want to go there teachers in charge of an Elementary school trip to a state park decided to thrill the sixty-nine 11 year-olds by convincing them there was a gunman loose in the building and to all lie doon on the ground. A teacher cunningly disguised in a hoodie pulled at the locked door. They turned the lights out on them and about 20 kids started to cry thinking they were going to be killed.

The terror lasted for 5 minutes as the teachers wanted it to be a learning experience and I think the kids learned that the Assistant Principal Don Bartch who was in charge of the trip puts the ass in assistant.

Last month a few days shy of the day the Virginia tech shootings happened killing 33 people, what the fuck were these slack jawed cunts thinking? I bet they are a real hoot at home,"honey I just got a call and your father just died in a car crash, no I was only kidding but how did that make you feel?" "Timmy Worf the dog ran away, I'm so sorry, nope only kidding but what were you thinking for those 5 minutes when you sat and cried?"

Fucking mongs, no wonder the kids are growing up stupid with these people teaching them.

This Is The End, Elmo My Friend The End.

If there are any children in the room quickly bring the wee fuckers over and show them the picture, see what happens when Sesame Street tries to promote healthy food? it kills you. For years Cookie Monster was content with his moment on the lips and a lifetime on his hips, he was happy. Now they take away the cookie and say "here Cookie Monster have a nice healthy piece of broccoli" cruel and unusual treatment for a long time employee, now the Cookie Monster has an identity crisis and is on anti- depressants, the poor bastard.

Elmo was always the yes man, that's how he became the star. If life was fair the 7 foot retarded 50 year old yellow bird should be the star, he was there from the beginning. I guess Hollywood wasn't ready to break the bird mong barrier, I like my mongs like Forest Gump, you know a heart of gold that won't lick yer face and that you can still take the piss out of, I call them 'mong lite'.

I've always wanted to find a dead body, preferably an attractive woman but so far that hasn't happened.
While out yesterday with my grandson Gavin we saw the lifeless body of Elmo on some waste ground, we think his heart gave out, must of been all that healthy eating. I heard the guy that invented the power bar, a real fitness freak dropped dead of a heart attack while standing in a bank queue.

Let this be a warning to anyone that jogs or eats things like salad and drinks water, do you know what fish do in water? well at least the children are safe from 'Tickle me Elmo' which sounds like a Pedo chat up line.

Level 5 Contaminant

So happy looking, well except for that big lardy sad sack at the front, gurn up you're fantastic, it says so on yer shirt.

Years ago I was a wealthy philanthropist and possibly a bit of a philanderer who loved philosophy,philology,philately, Phil Collins and phlegm, yes in that order.
That was back in the time when if you said that someone was special you had better be wearing clean gunties and had washed all the stains and various discharges off yer knob in the last week as you my son were about to get yer hole. Now when you say someone is special it implies they are at a level of understanding and education reserved for window lickers and those who bang on fish tanks to make the fish move and drive a SUV, the later being those fuckers that take up the whole road and think they own it and only fill it up with petrol to show off that they can afford to do so, under no circumstances key these vehicles, egg them or spray paint onto them "DIE YOU PLANET KILLING HOOR" as that would be bad and I'd have the peelers around at me door asking what I've been up too, Interpol have a file on me, all a big misunderstanding I'm sure.

Back in the day instead of mong or tard we would affectionately call Joeys and stupid people alike Spastics and anyone with a dark skin was a Pakkie, simpler times, we'd cheer as John Wayne ethnically cleansed the west with his Winchester rifle and his funny limp wristed walk and hanging criminals (when we weren't sending them to Australia) was a popular event to take the kiddies to.

I invested my money in paint, Asbestos and was a major supplier of lead in the cuntry, you know for swimming pools, church roofs and general plumbing needs. I didn't need to turn lead into gold it was like gold back then, those were the days.

Now don't go thinking I have anything against retards, my 7th wife Fanny from Cornwall spewed me out two of them, very useful wee fuckers I gave them the run of my garden to keep away intruders, one was a biter the other was more of a drooler, I had big hopes for him.
I have funded many an institute for the spastically inclined but then I started to get too big and important and my enemies got uncomfortable and made up all these silly health rules about lead pipes and paint with the sole porpoise to ruin me, fucking sharks the lot of them, they circled around me and none of my so-called chums would help me, I was gutted.

Now who is having impure thoughts about a tard? you lot disgust me.

I had to close doon all my institutes, including a college that never actually turned out any high achievers for some reason. I was almost destitute as I was doon to my last few millions so I invested in the Whale fishing industry which they also tried to close doon and I set up a factory to make flame retardant flags to sell to the middle east , God bless those crazy Jews for always starting all the wars . The paint factory went up in flames, strangely enough no one was ever charged (fucking Masons no doubt)

I was able to process and sell my homeless mongs to Oxfam and Save the Children to feed to the Africans who are constantly hungry so my son did make something out of himself.
I don't live in the style I'm accustomed too anymore, theres just no profit in helping people unless it was a front for criminal activities but you didn't hear me say that.
I just want to tell you that I think you're all so very special.

Now who is having impure thoughts about a tard? you lot disgust me.

I'm not actually sure if Fanny was married to me in a legal sense of the word as I don't like paper trails, she ended up working in the Clean room industry last time I heard about her, no not the pollutant free work environments I mean she was cleaner.
Ugly as sin and not an ounce of sense but she had a great arse.

Australia Day.

Way too busy to be Blogging, leave it to the weemen.

Today is Australia day which means absolutely nothing to me. I love Australians as you know and have posted about them a few times before. Australian men are thick as pig shit but have that simple honesty about them, you will never see them on the Interweb as the way a fly cannot comprehend a pane of glass they cannot understand how to work a computer and continue to try to cook their pop tarts in the DVD opening. Too busy staring at tits drinking beer and calling each other Bruce.
Australian weemen are a bit brighter which is why you might meet them on-line, as I have mostly met Australian females I hold out hope for that strange race of people, fine ambassadors.
Those from New Zealand who get called Australian all the time are just a bunch of hobbit diddlers.

To demonstrate the stupidity and arrogance of people we turn our attention to those that wear slogans on their T-shirts. I read the T-shirts of others as isn't that the reason for them? to show everyone how wacky you are and show off yer opinion as if anyone cared, get a Blog then you'll see who doesn't care. My eye sight isn't that quick to focus anymore and people don't stand still for you so you may need several attempts for it. The amount of dirty looks I get from weemen that think I'm staring at their tits, ok they may be perky and yer T-shirt tight but don't flatter yerself I want to read something about you being yer own family or something or that you're a juicy princess. Then when they see you reading they get all self conscious about it and cover up.

Not the fool who was trying to catch a plane in Melbourne Australia to London (England for all you Yanks) he was turned away from the Qantas gate for refusing to change his T-shirt. Allen Jasson (mong) had a T-shirt with a picture of Bush on it saying "World's #1 terrorist", now maybe I'm missing the facts but Bush is the democratically elected President Of the U.S of A , if he was a terrorist the people would oust him, so this man is like Rain man or something, "uh oh Allen made a fart, Qantas the safest airline in the world", no offense to any mongs reading this ah who gives a fuck you happy moon faced bastards you aren't going to get this, away and dig in the garden.

Remember when everywhere had the right to refuse service signs up? well just because you can't see them doesn't mean they don't apply, and if you go on about free speech I will kick you in the balls for being stupid, its free as long as everyone likes what you are saying. I don't believe in free speech, I think you fuckers should pay me.
Qantas stated that Jasson had the potential to offend other customers and threaten the security of the aeroplane.
Next time wear yer Dead Kennedy's too drunk to fuck T-shirt moron.