Showing posts with label sexy knudsen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexy knudsen. Show all posts

Sunday, 4 May 2014

Sexy Workout Post

How doesn't wear high heels to the gym?
So how does this work? you eye up the little sexy children all week and then go to church knowing it will save yer soul at the end? 
Well Old Knudsen isn't going to try to convert you Christians, Muslims and Jews to having sex with consenting adults instead of children as yer scriptures tell you to, he's going to motivate you.

Make yerself a better you so that when you die yer soul won't get tired climbing all those clouds. You want to outrun the Devil and get to the light don't you?

Old Knudsen is doing the Insanity workout, you jump around and sweat a lot while some meatheaded bloke on a DVD tells you to feel the burn. Now all of those fit birds who were out of my league (my wee joke... as if) now want me sexy chiseled body. 

I'm on a different level of sexy now, this is probably how Moses felt when he stood on his ark and watched his neighbours screaming and dying when the floods hit, or when Samson knocked out Goliath with a wee pebble  ...... fucking smug in other words.

I get hard just looking in the mirror at me hard body .... I'm so hard.

Those balls are just a load of balls, jump, kick punch the air and repeat 80 or 100 times until the gravy pours out of ya .

Working out makes yer brain wrinkly which means yer smarter. Look at yon slacker at the back wishing he had the smarts like yer human Shar-Pei. Arnold Schwarzenegger came up with the e=mc2 thing 3 weeks after starting his first ever workout.

Don't be a poser who spends more time on fashions and thinking what songs to play on their ear/eyepoddypad.

Werk it! Make yer body a temple and Gog will love you even more. 

Don't try telling me it already is a temple, the temple of Doom doesn't count. 

Turn yer life around and start stalking chicks at the gym rather than kids at Sunday school. 

Blokes at the gym like to take showers together ..... no idea why but you might like that. Would it hurt you to have cubicles?

Old Knudsen is solid from the neck doon, feel free to punch him in the stomach if you meet him on the street, aye punch him before he gets to punch you .....CUNT! 

I don't know about you but I feel tired out now, and me back is sore. I'll skip my weekly church protest, just assume everyone hates you and yer only fooling yerself you Hell bound pedos since I won't be there to taunt you. 
 

"It's easier for a pedo to go to church than it is for a camel to go through the eye of the tiger" ~ Jesus.

Ach fuck the shower, I'm going for a lie doon oiled up and all, I wonder if I can return these DVD's what a waste of time I'm in too good a shape for them anyway maybe I need something more challenging. 

Sunday, 13 April 2014

Sexy Sunday With 4% More Something

 1
 
Are you over yer shock treatment of last week? Don't worry it's all a plan to rid you Christians of yer incorrect thoughts regarding children. It will be Easter soon and that is a time notorious for Christian activity ... disgusting!
 2
Now back to the impure thoughts about adults, not kids. What is this lass looking at? maybe it's you looking all smug and pious after returning from church, that really turns her on.
 3
This one is waiting for you to show an interest in her hotness instead of the school run.
 4
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things and surfed the Interweb for adult porn ~ John the Bapster. 
5
Google searches like 'crucified up skirt pics' 
6
Liking men is fine, many people do however with a different standard of beauty you don't just want men with abs and sticking up hair, men have to be handy. The way to a woman's heart is not just through her rib cage but if you can amaze them with yer wood working skills and hug the odd puppy then yer in. 
7
We aren't just walking slabs of sex to be objectified, real men have curves! 
As do real weemen .... you can objectify them as they are used to it and enable you to do so.
9
You won't see these on a 5 year-old.
10

Remember, God is watching, not yer pedo Christian god but a real one who don't take shit so behave.



Saturday, 24 August 2013

So Tempting


I think that you might think yer teasing me with yer sexy ways learned from years of watching the Disney channel.
Maybe some 18 year-old drunken redneck hick might fall for it but that doesn't mean yer hawt!  The neighbour's pet dog gets Cletus aroused for fucks sake.  



Sunday, 2 November 2008

Songs Of Love

Some say I'm a cross between Billy Joel and Stevie Nicks ........... high praise indeed. Go buy this single at yer local record shop as 3% of the proceeds may go to charity.

I have been told this single is the best song to hump er make long too as it is sexy, rhythmic and lasts for 2 minutes 38 seconds in which time you can do it twice.

Flip the record over for the 'B' side, "Short tight and covered in shite" which is about looking for love in all the wrong places.


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