Before The Storm

It does get a little boring meeting new people online, firstly .... you've never fucking heard of me, where the fuck have you been noob ?

Then you have to tell them what their problem is but not get too into their issues or you'll be there all day.
Example: Yer a dickhead who talks out of yer arse if yer breath is anything to go by ... smelling someone's breath online is artistic license or taking the piss, whatever.

See? that covers what their problem is.

The last thing you want to get into are their mammy issues and how they were her special wee man and because hes a spoiled wee man child the only place he can act big is online. I'm no touching the territorial alpha dog shit you have going on.

Like I said I could be there all day.

Repetitive issues, we aren't so unique you just have to figure the various combinations.

Then you end up arguing because they didn't 'get' or just didn't read what you said ..... for fucks sake!

Before Old Knudsen is forced to kill again hes just going to sit in what sun there is left. Skin cancer is less painful than some of the stupid hes encountered recently.

 

The Holy Post

Old Knudsen has had it with you idiots, for over 3 years he has put clues and signs in his posts to direct you all to the secrets of man and sometimes woman kind. Old Knudsen is part of a secret society that is so secret we don't even know who we pay our monthly dues too. Its is an ancient group of scholars like meself to whom the truth has been revealed.

Old Knudsen puts at least 10 deliberate mistakes into each post so the chosen can work out for themselves. Well if Old Knudsen's blog was on the history channel they would get experts in to find all these clues and tell you what I was thinking. "Da Vinci loved to paint curly hair which to him represented water which obviously prophesied the tsunami of 2004".

"John the Baptist holds his finger to the heavens in a mysterious reference to God." No old John was extremely proud of his snotters which he'd show to everyone, he'd go shovel some coal for the fire and when the coal dust made his boogers black he'd say it was God's magic.

Have you lot followed the signs or were you distracted by hoors of desire such as?


This!

Or this!

Or even this! Disgusting the way the sheer fabric clings to her ripe perky nipples of her large voluptuous pale white fleshy orbs that defy gravity.


Well this is what God does to demonic distracting hoors.

Even if they do have perfect arses and Old Knudsen thinks its a total waste but God is a closet ghey woman hater obsessed with underage virgins all wise and has a plan ................. sure the plan may fuck you over but you weren't asked.


Old Knudsen has tried to direct you to the bloodline of Christ.

The treasures of the Templars.

The location of the Holy Grail. It only shines for the pure of heart so Old Knudsen has seen it many times.

Fuck lad look at the arse on that, no wait no distractions for Old Knudsen until his friction burns heal up.


Ask God all his secrets when you drink his holy ale. The Vikings called getting drunk in order to talk to the Gods a Blot oh yes those crazy raping and pillaging peaceful explorers were wise. Old Knudsen being Ulsterish and Scottish is also a Gallowglass and so is in tune with all the old Celtic and Norse ways. He drinks to blot out reality and the faces and screams of all those he has killed in war and on his hobby farm, it doesn't help that he has video taped a lot of it and plays them often.


Also Old Knudsen has tried to tell you to wear Levis as a sign to who the lost tribe of Israel really is I mean why the fuck would a star of David be on the Red hand of Ulster flag? its all there people.

Ach Old Knudsen is off to write a book of poetry, he may post when the mood strikes him but I'm counting on me verses to make me lots of money as the Armenians are getting testy and I know I put me Nazi gold in a safe place I just can't remember where. I told Kevork he'd get his loot as I'd rather lose my feet to diabetes than those cunts.

Here is a sample of what my hopes are pinned on:

If I were a tree,
Would you know me,
As I stand erect,
As I stand proud,
As my wood,
Slaps you across the face,
And sap gets stuck in yer hair.

Its a work in progress but pretty good huh? I was going to make the tree a weeping willow but that just came off as disgusting.

UPDATE


Due to threats in the comments and lemur prints in my margarine today Old Knudsen pulled some strings.

Simon Pegg being an X-files fan was happy to oblige, Gillian Anderson wanted to monologue about her vadge as usual and so wouldn't frenchie Pegg . Matt Damon was a right cunt and was shall we say difficult .
I used a PG-19 fast shutter with an enhanced blue optic 6 inch hertigal lens to help with the glare of the sun and Pegg's bright ginger hair.
I think Old Knudsen did pretty well due to time and budget and each star was returned safely home after the deed was done, a happy ending for Pegg and clean shiny hair for Anderson, Damon should be grateful he made it to my blog again, he'd be nothing without Old Knudsen.

Call off the lemurs Sparrow I did what you asked.

Grabass Friday

In the US its national Grabass day so get yer padded gunties if you have white boy arse

Or a flat hairy pancake butt.


Wow its really burning in there and inside the hoose, "Someone should do something about this Jan."



The magical qualities of the cap will shield you from prosecution.... would I lie to you?


Its all fun and games.


Until some bitch puts his hands all over Gerard's bum, I'll fuckin scratch his eyes oot! "THIS IS BUTTOX!"



In her day Amelia Earhart was just a silly bint who crashed her plane into the sea. Navigator Fred Noonan seen here may have been distracting her.

Go on grab some ass, you know you want to.