Easter Week

Sure I've watched the TV show Vikings and Game of thrones, both seem kinda blah right now. Vikings is a Canadian/Irish TV show that gives clueless people their dose of history .... except it isn't history, it's Bible history. Throw in some real names of people and places in history and make up the rest. Vikings is Game of Thrones without the midget sex.

Who gives a fuck? The show does point out the similarities between Christianity and the Pagan religion (which isn't it's name as it was given that name by Christians) it was usually referred to as the Old custom if anything.

This is my obligatory stop stealing our shit post.

Many Christians don't see Easter as being about Jesus or Sherlock or whoever, it's when you buy chocolate rabbits for some reason, hey it's what everyone does so just play along ..... The ghost of Hitler likes that you don't think too much and just join in with the crowds.

Easter is a celebration of the spring equinox and the date is set by the moon, not very Christian huh?

      Durty fuckin hippies!

Christians go on about the death of the son but really it's the sun and the cross he died on is the southern cross star constellation. You have to understand the Pagan mind set, they were very reliant on the sun and good weather or they didn't eat. The sun and the spring ends the dark scary days of winter, now they can grow things and stock gets replenished.  The more spare time they got as growing technology increases and social order gets more structured then they get stuck into the spiritual good and evil thing. 

Too much time on their hands. 

Just like with the god Conan the barbarian (who was well hung) there is a lot of mythological hanging.  The Sumarian Goddess Inanna or Ishtar was hanged from a stake, Odin hanged from a tree and of course Jesus H Christ, though the cross is far older than Christianity .... doesn't it make you wonder why Christians adopt a symbol of torture and wear it around their necks? .... because they are cunts! no no I mean because they like to be reminded of people being tortured, that's not cuntish is it? 

Hot cross buns aren't a Christian concept either, Christians don't really tend to have imaginations. 

The cross used to be a T as it represented Tammuz the the Sumerian solar god was crucified and also represented the latter Roman god Mithras and the Greek Attis and other Teutonic gods. Osiris, the Egyptian god of the dead and the underworld holds a cross to represent the end of yer life, like a grim reaper but with lots of eye makeup. 

Thomas Paine wrote in a 'pamphlet' (Ye olden day blogs) The age of reason in 1794, "The Christian religion is a parody on the worship of the Sun, in which they put a man whom they call Christ, in the place of the Sun, and pay him the same adoration which was originally paid to the Sun."

Aye what he said.  

Easter which is a corruption of the German Goddess Eostre or Ostara does of course go back a lot further. Linguistically she such cognates as Ishtar and Astarte and can be traced to a Proto-Indo-European goddess of the dawn Ausos and a bunch of others that have to do with love, war, fertility and light. 

It can all be traced back linguistically, as speech and language evolves and changes but the root is still there. Things don't just pop up from no where, who knows which came first, the rabbit or the egg? 

Whoever on the Interweb said that Loki is similar to the Spanish word 'Loco' meaning Crazy, please slap yerself. Loki is not a Latin based name you twat.  

Scientists have only just figured out that the big bang didn't just happen, there was a universe before that. 

If this is true then did people not question why Christians were using  Pagan symbols like crosses and passing off Pagan Celebrations as things that Jesus had done? 

Of course they did. The Greek philosopher, Celsus who lived in the 2nd century called bullshit on the whole thing but he was happy enough if the then Christians behaved like good people .... so much for Christian persecution. 

From the time of St Justin in the 2nd century the church leaders decided that anything that predated Jesus which was all the mythology used for the creation of Jesus, the temples and the hundreds of years of worship to other gods was obviously made up by the Devil ..... seriously that is all they could think of. 

I never want to hear a Christian slag off a Creationist Christian ever! .... yer just as dumb.

 

    
Yes eggs represent birth and rebirth, rabbits are fertile wee fuckers and the gods are created by man.

  

Now before you go crying that everything you've based yer life on is a lie and how can you be so stupid? ..... I don't know how you can be so stupid so don't ask me.

Remember that it's not about stories of super beings like Thor, Superman or Jesus, it's about you and yer relationship with nature and the universe. The 'my imaginary friend can beat yers up'  idea is just so primate and born out of fear and paranoia. 

Yes there has been gods since the dawn of man ... maybe before that. Just because many Pagans were put to the sword in the name of the new god doesn't make it the best one. 

Yer human brain is too small to think about the vastness of the universe and yer connection to it. You sit there wishing this post would end with a pile of neglected dishes that need done and you don't feel very connected at all ... unless it's Wi -fi.

These gods and goddesses are merely a way for us to relate to the universe, we invoke those gods who we think can look after us the best. We bug them with our silly concerns and still continue to pray to them no matter how many times they let you doon.   Why should they listen, why should they care? 

Lets sacrifice a goat to the gods .... the gods say, "oh great another goat, just what I wanted."

What we are really praying to isn't blokes with beards and tridents or chicks who claim not to know how they got pregnant cos all they've done is anal and it's not like spunk can drip into yer vadge ...is it? 

We are praying to ourselves because we are all divine. All of us are made from stardust we are already connected as we are to our ancestors who we share DNA with. The whole point was to wake up yer inner god, the one bogged doon by worry over the bills or yer child's future, that is who you are praying to and you don't even know it. 

Many people deny the gods or deny certain gods ... would an open mind harm you any? 

It does annoy Old Knudsen when religion and the history of gets, not presented as fact but you just know that some stupid cunt out there is going to believe it.

The Devil is in the details .... ignore it all because we don't know and can't be sure of anything.    

Except that yer a cunt.

Snakes On A Pastor

 But I believed in you!

Sorry for the delay in giving my opinion on this story but Old Knudsen has only just managed to stop laughing at it. 

"I just like handling really, really big snakes," said Pentecostal Pastor Jamie Coots of the Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name in Middlesboro, Kentucky as he stroked his snake lovingly. Go on, tell us about yer favourites.

 "Well, the black timber rattler I just love," he said. "Some of the black timber rattlers, their head just look, like, velvety. It's such a shiny black and tickles the balls when it goes in."

I'll just be pretending I didn't hear that last bit. 


Coots was bitten by one of his Gog bothering snakes and his family refused anti-venom treatment because Coots didn't believe in no new newfangled medical treatment. He was bit 9 times previously and rather than learn from Gog's lessons he believed he survived by his faith .... he died 2 hours after being bitten, I suppose his faith was lacking on this occasion and so now he burns in Hell according to his own beliefs.  Gog doesn't want any doubters in his posse.

9 times previously in 22 years of handling snakes, you'd think he'd learn. 10 times a charm. 

Cody Coots, his son who is also a snake handler in church, told a local newspaper that it was a 2-and-a-half-foot timber rattler that gave his dad the fatal bite. Snakes 1 -  Twats 0.  Hold on wah? his favourite snake? Maybe it got confused cos of all the shit caked onto it's eyes. 

The Pentecostal church was invented in the 20's by a black, one eyed, uneducated Texan who went to Callyfornia as they will believe anything.  Like many Scots/Irish settlers he could of course read ..... and just like them he only had use for one book .... the Bible.

The Gospel of Mark (16:9-19) says: 


The one who believes and is baptized will be saved; but the one who does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: by using my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes in their hands, and if they drink any deadly thing, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover. 

So it says that if you handle yer snake, speak gibberish, drink Guinness and shout out JESUS CHRIST when you cum yer bullet proof and also won't catch aids or syphilis .... well thats my interpretation and it has werked for me. 

Jenny of Colorado .... my faith was weak and so you may have the clap ... my bad. Hope the babies are well.  
  

Pastor Andrew Hamblin hears the banjo music of Gog as his life soundtrack.

The thing is that yon passage does not appear in the earlier manuscripts of Mark which suggests that it was added later ..... an amendment,  probably in the second century.  Thats 200 years after the alleged death of Christ. Did someone just pop up and say, "hey didn't Jesus say this too?"

All these morons are risking their lives based on something that was thought up by 'Snakes R us' or someone else. Maybe it was a way to weed out idiot Christians. 'Drink Draino and if you really believe in Gog then you won't die, what are you afraid of?'

In 1995 a woman in Coot's congregation was bitten and refused medical treatment, she died on Coot's couch .... yet another of weak faith huh.

There are 125 snake-handling congregations scattered across Alabama, Georgia, the Carolinas and Appalachia .... these would be the areas in which the Scots/Irish settled, aye my people were and are still idiots.
Let them sip strychnine as a test of faith.

Darwin didn't actually coin the phrase Survival of the fittest, he attributed to Herbert Spencer in the
fifth edition of his Origin of Species, 1869. Darwin did use the term Natural selection and both terms seem pretty apt here.
There is something not right in their heads, adrenaline junkies who are Christians due to not liking to think for themselves too much.

Humans are only strong when they can think and adapt, not follow the herd like bison who stand in a clump as a defense mechanism while hunters shoot them all day.  

 As they say in Texas, 'don't tread on me.'

The snake is seen in many world cultures as a symbol of  both good and evil, it is also connected with medicine, fertility, immortality, transformation, passion, re-birth, blah blah blah.

It's a scared symbol to the Earth goddess which is why Mother (Earth) Mary up there is standing on it cos while it's a goddess familiar, Christians see it as evil and need to control it.

Just like sex. Christians also feel the need to control that. Mary is usually seen in blue because she is of the mer, the sea .... just like the goddess of love Aphrodite who is also depicted with sea foam and shells as Mary sometimes is.

The reality is that Mother Earth loves the cock cos fertility is a big part of nature, around this time of year Old Knudsen feels that urge for way longer than the usual 4 hrs at a time. Maypoles are cocks pushed into the earth and danced around like strippers in a club in case you were wondering about this.

Now the goddess is a sex hating underage virgin but the signs to her original state are there. In the Bible weemen are either hoors or mothers so Christians, yer Ma is a hoor! .... and yer Da loves it.  

The fable about St Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland was the Christian campaign to control the evil snakes (Pagans) even though we all know that Ireland never had real snakes because the land bridge to England was flooded after the ice age 2,000 years before the mainland got their 3 species of snakes.
Other animals got there but the snakes were just too slow and it was way too cold at the time. Thank fuck Noah had aquariums with heat lamps.   

When Old Knudsen was in the garden of Eden he said, fuck the apple, LOOK a talking snake, how cool ...... and it speaks English.

Please handle yer snake responsibly.