I Know You Are But What Am I?

Kenny Chesney ............. a cuntry singer is so unconfident about his sexuality that he has to totally prove to people he isn't ghey. You know like when Tom Cruise sued the guy that said he was ghey?


So is being ghey like an insult or something or are we still in the schoolyard? Here is how Chesney over reacted

"I'm pretty confident in the fact that I love girls. [laughs] I've got a long line of girls who could testify that I'm not gay." A long line indeed. "There were years when I had a better summer than A-Rod," Chesney boasts, adding that he's been with "over 100" women. "My first five years on the road were intense, because I was the guy in college who never got laid until I started playing guitar."

OMG did you see the shoes she is wearing? it totally clashes with her outfit!

I don't care if you are a poo pirate you sing cuntry which makes you a twat. Yer also in denial about being bald hence the hats so I don't believe a thing you say. He did leave out that he shagged 500 dudes as well as the 100 weemen.

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Sunday Soapy Tit Wank

I don't like being lied to by the media so that's why I don't believe anything I hear. I mean oil went up in price because a US cargo ship with a security onboard fired some warning shots at some boats that were getting too close in the Persian Gulf.
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Why did the price go up? nothing happened was it to make up for the cost of the bullets? sounds just like an excuse to me 'Media Manipulation' that's what goes on. A hint a rumour and the next thing you know 1929 wall street crash.

Now instead of having straight posture and a square chin actors can have all this fixed in post production. Cuntpop singer Faith Hill looks like a normal but still attractive middle aged woman on the left with facial lines, a slight roll of fat and thicker arms.
Then on the right she is 30 with Liz Taylor lighting and adjusted bits.
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Burt Lancaster wasn't photoshopped, he just whipped it out in all his intact unmutilated by ignorant parent or rabbi glory.

What a shock to see yer hero on the street and to find out they are actually just a boring human with bad breath and a slow leak from their arse. I like the picture on the left better it has life to it.


Poor Renee Zellweger she has some kind of skin problem, you'd think having millions you could get that fixed, no offense Renee but don't go out without make-up on and stop working out so much.
This time its ok to lie because its for the greater good of my wank bank I thought she looked her best in Jerry McGuire, a great film and one of the few I can stand to watch after Tom's crazy episode on the sofa and ever since.


A before and after of Mel Gibson, you think he just wakes up looking as hot as he does on the right? no work goes into it. For his antisemitic information the Jews don't start all the wars. The uppity negros started the American civil war.

Do you believe those before and after pictures when the person walks towards the camera fat and ends up thin? I believe it as much as I believe the special effects in American Werewolf in London, yet another great film.

I took Bulimiax after throwing up every meal and look at me now!

Then there are those adverts that have the old way of doing things in black and white with the people getting angry and frustrated or hurting themselves and the new easy way in colour with the people smiling.

Tired of doing tiring exhausting exercise? well now you can use the new 'nipple zap' just attached the electrodes to yer nipples and electric shocks tense yer body exercising those muscles while you watch TV, read the newspaper or lie in bed, no more exertion just relaxing electrocution.

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If you believe the media then Saddam had WMD, Al Qaeda are a small shite sect who are losing the war, you can look younger, thinner and have a bigger penis by just taking pills, the world is heating up and we are doomed even though 30 years ago it was about to go into an ice-age and we were doomed.

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Just be a fatalist why bother composting and recycling? the 50 cunts across the road don't we are going to implode no matter what because everyone is lying and that is the truth.

As my old grand pappy used to say: "curry flavours the bald" makes you think huh?

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I Got A Book Deal

When I started blogging in August 2006 I was just having a bit of fun. I laughed at all of those fools who talked about writing books and would post a few boring chapters every now and then.

Maybe there was something wrong with me cos I thought they were shite while others begged for more but because I'm a nice person I didn't comment and if they entered competitions I'd vote for them cos who am I to stand in the way of their dreams, they'd find out soon enough.

I made up the joke, "What do you call a failed writer?............... A Blogger."

Then it happened, over the last month I have been in contact with some people who have offered me a great book deal.
I didn't want to jinx it by telling everyone but now I've committed myself.

I can choose 6 books from only 1p each.

World Books really is the simplest way to a dazzling array of high quality books at discount prices. Fiction bestsellers, homes and gardens, health and fitness, cookery, history, reference and leisure - World Books has got it all.

free colour magazine every month, unbeatable offers, guaranteed discounts, sneak previews, competitions and freebies

Sure I have to buy a further 4 books a year but that's what fake names and addresses are for.

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Those Fucking Lazy Hobbit Bastards.

Well Samwise did ya look after Frodo's ring?

I have a really bad memory and am often prone to repeating myself as I was just telling my friend Billy one ear the other day but it seems he already knew.

I was watching the Lords of the Ring films by that Michael Moore fella . I'd read the books years ago like half of the civilised world has and the films were pretty faithful to the books but fuck those films were long, just because the film goes on for 3 hours doesn't make it better. When they make a big CGI mountain they sure get their moneys worth by showing it.

The last bit had the armies of the Orcs and the men (plus one woman) fighting at the Black gate, then one of the Hobbits the queer looking one no one can remember, not Frodo, Samwise or Pennywise but the other one shouts,"The Eagles are coming" I fully expected to see that famous cuntpop© group of the 70's singing their top hit Hotel California but no it was actually eagles, big fuck off eagles .........boring.

That Frodo was a right lazy cunt, on the way to Mulder to destroy the ring , he drinks all the water and gets Samwise to carry him, but when Gollum goes after the ring or hot lava is spewing out singeing Frodo's arse hairs he can sure move then, swinging the lead I believe the expression would be for faking it on the job.

What is it Samwise, are you trying to tell us something? Is frodo trapped doon a well?

The actor who plays Frodo is amazing, the three Harry Potter films and Lost, busy busy busy. Only the wizard Geldoff is keeping up with him by doing the X-men films. I wonder how Geldoff or Magnet Man as he is in the X-men films picks his roles, sure hes done all the Shakespeare crap and got a Knighthood for pretending to be other people, in my day you'd have to kill a real dragon to get one of them and if you pretended to be other people you'd be shot for being a Nazi spy.

Oh thats it yer both Up hill gardeners, well I wasn't shocked.

Sir Ian works for the paychecks now and only likes to play old blokes with magic powers, if only he could play them as Straight, ah the curse of the English, is he or isn't he?

Old Knudsen Makes History Yet Again.

A new phrase as coined by Old Knudsen to describe modern day country music as sung by Faith Hill and the Dixie Chicks and numerous others , feel free to use it .

Cuntpop