Fifty Shades Of Grey Is Next To Godliness

Old Knudsen doesn't go into promoting the works of others very often but this is an exception. The only problem is that you'll have to learn Eyetalian, Spanish, French, Portoguese, Polish or Slovenian to read it as it hasn't been translated into English (the tongue spoken by Jesus) Casate y se Sumisa or in a proper language  Get Married and Be Submissive written by Costanza Miriano is a book of shear genius that every woman should read.
I wonder why only mostly Catholic cuntries have had the book translated ....

A bestseller in Italy it has been translated into Spanish and is becoming hugely popular there. The Archbishop of Granada, Francisco Javier Martinez doesn't mind some extra publicity for the book as he is the one to have had it published in Spain.

Old Knudsen doesn't see eye to eye with all things the Catholic church does like it's support of pedophilia etc but he is shoulder to shoulder with them on this, just like the DUP are with them on abortion.
Many have argued that the book promotes violence against weemen .... poppycock! I doubt many men would read this shite.

Archbishop Martinez said the outrage over the book was "ridiculous and hypocritical" in a society that allows abortion, which he believes to be an example of violence towards weemen which society finds acceptable.

I find that reply to be ridiculous and hypocritical. This is the man who during his Christmas speech in 2011 said that anything Hitler and Stalin did wasn't as bad as having an abortion and that you can rape and abuse a woman who has had an abortion without any limitations as she has committed a sin. 

Since he is still in his job it's good to see where the Catholic Church stands on that.

Miriano who is the mother of four ..... children, claims the book is based on the teachings of St Paul who didn't mind giving an insolent woman the odd back hander.

The book says , "We [women] like humiliation because it is for a greater good."  

I did not think that weemen were capable of such higher reasoning, this gives Old Knudsen hope. 

"When your husband tells you something, you should listen as if it were God speaking"

Just start burning Bibles for we have found a better replacement, I'm sure God spoke to her in order for her to have such wisdom.

Weeman:
Tea, sex, dinner, miscellaneous  .... and all the hoosehold stuff you enjoy like dishes and cleaning, the shopping and looking after the childer, just don't let it interfere with what yer husband wants ... It's easy!

Books are for the weak and even though I'll never read this it'll go doon in my list of favourites.  

Whats All The Fuss About Mary?

Raniero Cantalamessa the personal preacher of the Pope has been given the chance to clear the air about his comments likening the abuse the Pope and the Catholic church has been getting to the Jews and the Holocaust.

"The Catholic church does not want to take away from the suffering of millions of Jews at the hands of the Nazis or even from a handful of traitors that didn't enjoy getting molested by the soldiers of God. It shows you from the backlash I received that we the Catholic church are obvious the true victims in all of this."

He pauses to take a sip of Holy water which can be bought in the lobby for $9.99 a bottle, you might as well buy a bottle as no outside drinks or food are allowed in the Vatican. Also try our God power bar, the energy snack that gives our priests the boost to get through the day, $7.99 for one or buy two for $6.00.

" Since my Jewish friend no longer speaks to me and besides it was just a commenter on my blog ' Whats all the fuss about Mary?' I spoke to a negro friend and he likened the harsh comments and blame the Church and pontiff gets to Slavery.
Whipped and chained with months at sea to be forced to do something horrible called 'work' and killed if you didn't do it and being treated like animals rather than people.......

It occurred to me during my weekly shoulder rub that maybe people took offense at the Jew remarks because they aren't clergy and are unenlightened and out of touch so maybe they might be able to see that we are being treated like niggers instead of hooked nosed money lenders."

A young man in a sharp suit rushes up and whispers in the Father's ear. Cantalamessa looks annoyed and hisses, ' well my Jew friend doesn't mind' and the young man leaves.

" It seems some people don't like the word nigger which shows you they will take offense at anything because we use the word all the time around here, even the Pope himself uses it. Ok then those people of colour whatever."
.
The young man in the suit holds his hand to his head in distress and the pope gives Father Cantalamessa the thumbs up.

" I was talking to a female friend who likened the Pope to Nosferatu but since she is a woman what the fuck does she know? ta- bum a little humour to break up the seriousness.
No but really folks I was talking to a fellow priest and we came to the conclusion that the alleged victims of abuse against the Catholic church are like whiny pro choice women on their periods, c'mon get over it.
If those who were touched by the hands and knobs of God when they were children have a problem then they must be gay and therefore should be rounded up and put into camps, its what everyone is thinking right? "


He looks over at the pope for validation but he is busy on a dream quest communicating with God.

" To put it into simple words for all you non-scholars the so-called victims of abuse from pedophile priests which we have said was a regrettable thing to find out about since its caused so much trouble for us is the Devil and his demon fags trying to destroy the good thing we have at the Vatican and we can't believe that you don't see that .................. Maybe SNAP, the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests should think about telling its members to 'snap' out of it and give us an apology."


He chuckled a little and glanced over to see if the pontiff was back from his vision yet. The holy saliva was being wiped from his holy chin by an underling.

"I'm gonna hand you back to big 'P' Benedict the master of the beatitudes or 'Masta beati' have a good Easter and take a moment to think what its all about, yes bunnies, eggs and us! Rome you've been great Cantalamessa out!"


The Vatican wishes to remind people that what is said at the Vatican by anyone isn't the official Vatican stance and as usual they cannot be held accountable.



The archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams took a moment from looking like a stoned hippy to say, "What the fuck?"

.

How Innocent Is The Pope?

The last Pope to have the nerve to be named Innocent was Pope Innocent the 13th who died in 1724. Old Knudsen stopped watching the Innocent Popes after the second one because the rest just phoned it in then they introduced the young boy sidekick and that was just creepy.

It just keeps going on and on. Anywhere from 94,939 to 103,588 civilians have been killed in Iraq since 2003 but thats not news . Taxes, health care reforms, celebrity dirty dicks, reality shows, lying politicians ,corrupt banks and of course the pedo supporting Catholic church now all that is news.

Only Old Knudsen spares a thought for the people just trying to live a life but cunts with guns are deciding the future of the cuntry instead and don't care who gets shot.


Murphy on the left with the hard on.

Back to the real news. Rev. Lawrence C. Murphy was a priest at a school for deaf boys in the 50's onwards and molested over 200 of the little sexy boys. Look at the picture and wonder if any of those kids are being put through hell at that time by Murphy.

Aruthur Budzinski was 12, and went to Murphy for confession but was instead was molested by him in a secluded stairway between two buildings. He was again molested at the age of 14.

"You're real handsome," Budzinski recalled the priest telling him. "You are a real handsome boy."

In 1974 Budzinski and a couple of the graduated boys came forward but were told the statute of limitations had expired.

In 1996 the then Milwaukee Archbishop Rembert Weakland wrote to Cardinal Ratzinger (now the Pope) telling him about Murphy and his ways and being faced with dismissal Murphy wrote to the Cardinal saying he had repented and was old and sick and guess what ? yep nothing came of it. Murphy died 2 years later aged 72.

Father Murphy said he believed his victims consented, telling a psychotherapist, “I could tell if they like it because they didn’t push me away." So he knew they liked it.

Not a one off story but now a story that gets told so often its almost a Catholic clergy requirement for the job.


Of course you all know Old Knudsen thinks Pedos, rapists, murderers and lemurs should be killed, perhaps by an angry Asian . Let me save the anti-death penalty mongs the trouble, "What if it was your own brother charged with molesting his own daughter would you have him killed then?"

Well Mr Adams I wouldn't cover it up like you I'd get a bit of clothes line and strangle the fucker with it and get my henchman Martin behind you there to make the body vanish.

"killing is not the answer" ach fuck off and why do you like pedos so much would the world not be a better place without them since they always get out on good behaviour and repeat offend? If it was a dog that kept biting you'd put it doon.

The good guy fights the bad guy, the lame idealist good guy doesn't kill the bad guy for fear of becoming like the bad guy, the sensible good guy does kill him because he knows a lawyer will get him off and he'll come back for revenge in a sequel also the good guy knows he won't be raping anyone just putting an end to the horror the bad guy inflicts........... like duh!

Get yer moral compass sorted out you have a magnet stuck to it.

Old Knudsen is sick of all this 'you can't touch us crap' the priests that is not the boys. I couldn't stay in a church that was so morally bankrupt .......... then again what other job is a priest going to do? They can't relate to real people and know fuck all about life merely following orders from a power that is bigger than Gog , yeah maybe they can work for the Inland Revenue service or some other pen pushing position with power over people.


Old Knudsen is lying on his sick bed with the gravy pouring off him. Damn my illness, I have an addiction to prescription drugs that I take to keep my sex addiction under control, like I said its an illness so its not my fault anyway I repent so fuck yas all. Old Knudsen will be in Heaven throwing up on you lot in Hell.

Remember ......... lusting after a woman that has the body of a 12 year-old boy is legal and normal, lusting after any 12 year-old.


Is sick and acting upon it is against the law . Maybe people just don't know all of this Old Knudsen may have to do pubic announcements on the telly or something.


Well done to the Olson twins for teaching all of those "They'll be legal soon" middle aged pervs a lesson, for didn't they go to extra trouble to look minging and junkie like when they did turn legal HA!

It must be time for Old Knudsen to email the Vatican ........... again, they ignore me but I'm totally sick of the whole situation.



.

The Vaitcan Made Me Fat!

Father Gabriele Amorth the Vatican's chief exorcist has recently made the startling claim that the Devil roams the finely decorated halls of the Vatican and is probably responsible for all the ills that has besieged the church over the decades.

The Devil made a crazy woman push the Pope over, the Devil made yon Turk shoot Pope John Paul # 2 and the Devil made the priests fondle children and made the bishops and Popes cover it up, the Devil made them do nothing during WWII except help Nazis flee to Argentina.

It all sounds quite plausible to Old Knudsen as those are the kinds of things everyone says the Devil makes them do.

"The Devil resides in the Vatican and you can see the consequences," said Father Amorth, 85, who has been the Holy See's chief exorcist for 25 years.

"He can remain hidden, or speak in different languages, or even appear to be sympathetic. At times he makes fun of me. But I'm a man who is happy in his work."

Old Knudsen completely understands the man that has managed to avoid real work all his life and is still at it long after retirement age, the fella has a certain Je ne sais pas. Move over old man exorcism is a young man's job, have ya no seen Constantine staring the great Keanu Reeves ? Any film that kills off Shia LaBeouf has two thumbs up in Old Knudsen's book.

Father Amorth fought as a partisan during the Second World War, has previously claimed that both Hitler and Stalin were possessed by the Devil though it was later found that Hitler merely suffered IBS but you'd swear the Devil had pinched off a loaf if you went in the gas chambers after him.

Who is the main victim in all of this? Why its Darren Von Pattersmith thats who.

Darren was an altar boy at the Vatican years ago ............. not an altered boy as he swears he does have a penis.

He'd suggestively hem his holy garments and bend over pretending to drop things but no, he was not diddled. "what was wrong with me? " he constantly questioned himself, "Everyone else is getting touched up except me."

Pedo priests being sheltered by the church came and came then went. Darren withdrew into himself and found comfort in food.

The only food to be had were the raspberry ruffles the priests would lure the boys with and the sacrament wafers. Not liking raspberry Darren fed his hole of despair with soul food used during communion. "I knew it was wrong to eat Jesus but if he really loved me he'd understand."

The chocolate, vanilla and fish wafers soon took their toll. "I was eating 40 packs a day and gaining the pounds." One day he read the packet and found 5% Trans fat on the label.

"I was gutted, the church had been feeding us fattening symbolic human flesh for years and we didn't know."

Darren being one of the many Catholic church's victims is now looking for answers.

Father Amorth who once ripped apart Nazis with his teeth but now works for one said from his villa in Rome, " Darren was once a very attractive boy in many ways I do not know how he was missed unless the Devil hid him from our vision in a cloud of his evil."

The new promise of the Catholic church will be (except in Ireland and Uganda terms and conditions may apply) 'No more possessions with people vomiting shards of glass and pieces of iron and zero Trans fats'.

Darren says that though the damage has been done with him he hopes that others will learn from his story and once you go Lutheran you never go back as those guys are phat!