Olympic Fun In The Jungle

Pitbull (I don't really know this guy) opened the RIO Olympics with his song taste it good bitch. 

Is everyone as glued to the Rio Olympics as I am? When I say glued I really mean sticky as any Pornhub viewing red blooded male associates Rio with chicks with big oiled butts getting triple penetration by the pool as 10 others look on as they tug their lads. 

"Old Knudsen, yer such a pre-vert, how dare you judge others by yer own standards" .... wha? angry random citizen voice in my head. 

That reminds me, got to get my barber to shave my nuts.    

Explain this then. I found this image on yer computer .... er my computer, fuck these voices, they startle and confuse me. Am I you are you me then who are the invisible time travelers that watch me at the foot of my bed as I sleep? .... I always have my fake eye open recording just in case. 

So Olympics .... quit getting side tracked. 

I like the barely legal events. 

I usually only watch the female events because I like seeing weemen do well, glass ceiling and all. Oh I watch the male diving cos how do those banana hammocks stay on then when they hit the water? 

You won't have heard of Hugo Parisi, if he was serious about his "sport" wouldn't he shave his body hair? He's a Brazilian diver that enjoys long walks on the beach and pumping chicks by the pool ... sometimes he just watches and spits on his cock. 

Old Knudsen has shaved all his body hair because all that back hair really does slow you doon. 

  

The female ass grab event was intense, once pinned to the ground they start making out as Careless Whisper is blasted out over the speakers and then cums the strap on round. When did ass grab become a sport, maybe I should give it a go. I'm always doon at the YMCA on ass grab night .... that's any random night when they least expect it BTW. 

What do you mean I only watch it to perv out. You want me to watch muscle men in Lycra with their huge packages bouncing about? Those that personally know Old Knudsen knows his troubles. For years I've battled with the demon drink, drugs, Skittles and fornication. Tempt not least ye be tempted yerself ... oh ok, I'll just do a little. I can quit at any time ya know.

What a terrible shape Old Knudsen would be if he was a poofter too? Ya have to draw the line somewhere. If I was in prison, in the military or on a long sea voyage with Danell Leyva he wouldn't stand a chance, his back doors would get so destroyed that when he does his gymnastics he'd leak bum gravy everywhere. 

So no, Old Knudsen refuses to be ghey, me pastor says it's sinful and that child molesting fuck knows all about sin. To quote him, "do as I say, not as I do" I'd report him to the police but he reminded me about the pastor/flock confidentiality thing.  My hands are tied ... like yon mail courier in me shed. 

Knocking one out because Captain America is fighting Iron man isn't ghey so quit judging me. Oh look Winter soldier turned up ... hey mind if I join in? I'll use my robot arm, it's like a stranger is doing it.

The Rio Olympics has a serious side. While half the cuntry is starving the government built the Olympic stadium and village at great expense in the jungle. How do you shoot street urchins and protesters without the media seeing it? Vans snatching people to do the job elsewhere is what is needed. Is it really a crime if it doesn't make it to social media? 

Being European the loud bangs that guns make frightens me so I hope they do humane things like put a plastic bag over their heads or slit their throats in the bath tub. You don't have to worry about ISIS, they were on Twitter complaining how much tickets cost .... better get selling that oil and those young gurls then.

  

Zika virus is also a concern so they enlisted the help of the Ghostbusters .... all female of course because um that glass ceiling thing. Native Americans Muslims Asians Blacks of course weemen get such a rough deal in life I'm glad to see that the US leads the way with the werld's first ever leader. It's sad that it took the 21st century to make it happen. 

Margret Thatcher, Angela Merkel, Erna Solberg, Kolinda Grabar-Kitarović, Saara Kuugongelwa-Amadhila, Ameenah Gurib-Fakim, Bidhya Devi Bhandari, Beata Szydło, Hilda Heine, Aung San Suu Ky, Tsai Ing-wen,Sheikh Hasina, Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, Helle Thorning-Schmidt, Simonetta Sommaruga to name a few oh and Dilma Rousseff, the President of Brazil. 

I golf and date out of my league, no wonder I'm laughing.   

Rory McIlroy refused to participate in the Rio Olympics because of Zika and because golf is not a real sport and he says it's boring as fuck. The Northern Ireland playa says that he can stay at his home in Florida and catch Zika. 

If you watch the Olympics to see who wins then yer just sad fuckers. I may watch for all the wrong reasons just to see those well formed hard bodies or just to chuckle every time I hear the name 'Ennis' but at least I watch. 

Disclaimer: Old Knudsen does not really watch the Olympics and has been masturbating to last year's events due to an incorrect Google search.    

Rednecks Sure Do Whine A Lot

Old Knudsen gets a little tired of the constant hate that gets spewed out on the TV, Interwebs and media in general. He just wants to dust off his M40 sniper rifle and go up to a bell tower to shoot the hate out of people, right behind their fucking eyes.

It's a small world these days with everyone having a smartphone but the thing is that smartphones don't make the people ant smarter. They do get to publish their opinions for the world though.

Like this 20 year-old English slapper, hey who wasn't this dumb aged 20 huh huh? I bet she is smart enough to not shag Old Knudsen though.

Good politicians have discovered that fear will keep will get them elected. Hitler used the fear of Jews to unite the German people so what if you use fear of several different groups? especially ones who are the most vulnerable.

Well it doesn't work all the time and just goes to make things worse for those targets. 

“Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.”  ~ Aristole
   
Here is what Conservative Americans know.

Welfare recipients are lazy fuckers who want to live mouth to hand and never want to get ahead in life because they are all rich anyways.

Liberals don't like guns and so therefore don't like you having them.

Women who have abortions are murderous sluts .Those who have their babies but go on government assistance are lazy sluts.

Immigrants get every government benefit that's out there and send their excess thousands back home to foreign land. 

Muslims are all terrorists. Sikhs and Pakkies are also Muslim terrorists. 

Ghey people can be cured but are too sinful to want it and are one step away from being pedos.

Stalin was a socialist...... like Obama. 

Blacks are lazy and probably steal shit .... like Obama.

Conservative thinking is completely normal and correct, and is validated by the Bible ... probably, if they had read it all.

Quit yer fucking whining, ya sound like the English.

If you look at the way the US is broken up politically you'll see that most of the red states (Conservative/Republican) are inbred redneck hillbilly states that doesn't produce much except for inbred hillbillies with snake handling religions.

Now don't get me started on the touchy feely knee jerk  Liberals busy feeling their white guilt over slavery.

So much is wrong with the way people are thinking in the world , which is why Old Knudsen is here to tell you what to think. Someone without anything to gain has to do it.

Quit begrudging those who have with very little. What works for you might not work for them, there are things you might never know ...... like those annoying memes you see about mental illness, you can't see everyone's illnesses so don't judge.

Unless yer Old Knudsen of course then judge away.

 Look at the big arse on that, should she really be wearing tight leggings? 

“If everyone is thinking alike, then no one is thinking.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

Where is this post going? Fuck you, that's where.

Fox news, the channel that speaks and thinks for many Republicans had this picture up. 99.6% of "poor" hooseholds .... did you notice the quotes? have a fridge.

What they are saying are, 'how can you be poor if you have a fridge?'  only some cunt who has never been poor would suggest such a thing.

How can you be poor if you have any of these? .... a microwave, a car, the Interweb, running water, washing machine, clothes, a pet dog and it goes on.  

If you do anything that goes under the heading 'having fun' then you must be a scrounger. Oh you had some extra money and bought a pizza, you can't be that poor then.

MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING DEPRESSING BEING POOR AND YOU COULDN'T REMEMBER WHAT PIZZA TASTED LIKE COS YER EATING HOMEMADE NOT VERY EXCITING LOW PRICE FOODS EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY.  

Old Knudsen is his own employer which pays pretty shit at times but it gives him time to do his hobbies, urban exploring, bukkake, hate crimes, ya know that sort of thing. The only thing he does to excess is masturbate and usually thats free.

The really sad thing is that these US Republicans are worldwide. Maybe because most of them came from Europe, especially the UK and Ireland. Northern Ireland still has plenty of Hillbillies left and in case you didn't know, the term HillBilly is from the followers of King William of Orange who is seen like a god to the Loyalists of Northern Ireland for finally getting Catholics out of the British monarchy, yep all 4 foot 8 inches of his Dutch wee self.

In Northern Ireland we have weemen as second class citizens and have restricted opening times for shops on a Sunday, it's a Republican's dream, thats US Republican cos Northern Ireland Republicans are yon Fenian cunts who blow people up.

On the Mainland you have the Conservatives playing all the cards that the US conservatives do and right now Fracking is what all the conservatives cronies are getting into despite how contaminated the US has gotten from it.

99.6% of poor need a fridge if they ever want a drink of cold clean water as you have to buy it from the shops thanks to industrial pollution . At least in third world Africa you can drink from the faucet.