Ass Tastic Sunday

Use lube and it won't be so Thor. 

I only post beauty when I'm inspired or have one in the chamber. For a chronic masturbator it can be hard to find inspiration worthy of a post.  Enjoy these and imagine the sweet farts they must do. 

 Quit getting toilets in these shots ffs ... and put the lid doon.

I deny christ, shoplifting and knocking doon hobos but I can't deny liking these.

An ass but not a nice one ....

Does The News Really Have To Be True?

Brian Williams the NBC anchor has been accused of lying about events that he said took place in 2003 when he was covering the Iraq war.

He said that the Chinook helicopter he was traveling in was stuck by a rocket from an RPG and forced to land. A nice little story to tell and tell it he did. To Letterman, Larry King and on Alec Baldwin's radio show all the while the crew of the Chinook that took the hit screamed at their TV's and tried to tell people but no one cared.

Looking rugged, helmets ruin hair and only pussies wear them. 

Eventually someone listened and called Williams on his account of events and he has issued an apology saying he he some how managed to mix up the helicopters in his memory.

A Chinook is big and noisy, you don't really have much idea of what is going on if you are in the rear, his pilot says that did take a few small arms hits but that Chinook had to land because of an up and coming storm and the Chinook that was in front of them was the one hit by an RPG and that had to sit and get repaired in the desert.

At the time Joseph Miller, the flight engineer on the Chinook that was dooned called Williams an idiot when he babbled that it was like something out of Saving private Ryan. He says that Williams kept away from him after that.

Williams was out in the desert of 3 days and over the years has constantly celebrated a sergeant he met there who was responsible for keeping them safe while on the ground. Sgt. Major Tim Terpack served for over 23 years and was from the same town as Williams, so they had kept in touch and maybe Terpack didn't call him names.


Other stories are now being looked at, did a body really float past his hotel window during hurricane Katrina? The staff didn't see any floaters. Did the Asian tsunami of 2004 even happen? Did he double dip his nacho into the cheese dip? The late Ernest Borgnine went to his grave saying he did, does the world owe poor Ernie an apology?

While he claims to have been there the night the Berlin wall came doon he actually was there the day after.  David Hasselhoff was the only good looking tanned American kicking that wall doon as he lead East Germany to freedom. 

Did his daughter really get her ass eaten on the TV show Gurls or was there protective padding as they claimed? Who to believe?

Now we want to know if SEAL team 6 who may or may not have shot Bin Laden really did send Williams a piece of helicopter wreckage because they are all buds .... who really cares? Some say it doesn't sound like something SEAL's would do but then neither do books bragging about yer exploits.


He seems like a dull kinda guy, maybe he got tired of just watching and reporting on the news and wanted to be a part of it. Memories can be dodgy, things that happen are often not straight forward or yer only getting a bit of what is happening.

Old Knudsen has moved home and cuntries countless times, he often plans to get something he had in the US sitting on a shelf to use in the UK, when he goes to get it he realises, 'shit, wrong life.' How many times has he threatened to shoot some one, only to look under the bed and not find his lovely Enfield rifle sitting in its case?  ..... at least 3 - 4 times.   

 Beating someone to death with half a brick is not the same as blowing their hed off. 

Williams has apologized and probably hopes the world will forget and move on as he likes his well paying job. Will NBC have him back or has the shine of truth and integrity been tarnished too much? Many news stories are slanted and full of bias, who ever thought that Williams would be the only 'popular' reporter that told the absolute truth?

He has been suspended without pay for 6 months to get this mess sorted out, during that time we'll see Williams grow a beard and reinvent himself as a wiser, older man. If NBC don't take him back then he can go to Fox news, where the truth goes to die.   

There Is No Vaccine For Stupid

Some know Old Knudsen as a lover, poet, and a bringer of truth and wisdom, others know him as a defender of the weak or vulnerable but mostly the world knows him as someone who can't remember his moral stance from day to day and so can be employed to do great evil in the name of boredom and whatever.  

Since the CIA have cum out and said how their fake vaccination program has cum to an end, Old Knudsen feels that he can now talk about his work ..... besides since they have started using the Royal bank of Scotland to pay their British operatives I've had nothing but trouble with me pay so fuck em.

I'm still owed overtime from 2011 while working as a doctor in Pakistan giving out hepatitis B vaccinations while looking for Bin Laden, the search would have been a lot quicker except for a typo that had me looking for Ben Laden.

We do lots of work all over the world, did you catch the latest outbreak of Ebola in Sierra Leone? well the skill is to start it in Guinea all the while knowing where it will spread to and then you get yer target without ever going after them.  Don't worry that cuntry is full of collateral damage, just look at the #bringourgirlsback hype, what about all of those who went before them? Boko Harem have been killing and abducting in the Borno area since 2010 and no one cared.

The Saudis think they can buy their way out of everything and play all sides, enjoy yer  MERS . It gives the CDC something to do.

  Dat ass needs a cock implant stat!

With other more subtle assignments you can find yerself putting in nano bots for what ever reasons that are about me pay grade or you might be putting in trackers, or as the conspiracy nuts call them 'alien implants' aye blame the aliens.

 So let me get this straight, you want it in the ass .... no take backs. 

It's great when the pubic cum and insist that you vaccinate them. The flu virus may evolve constantly but yeah, this will help you, oh yer a government contractor with a communications company ... how interesting.

The CIA are telling the world that they no longer do fake vaccinations because you have fanatics deciding that healthcare workers in the third world are legitimate targets. I think it was the sunglasses and black SUV's that gave us away.

Cases of polio in Pakistan had dropped to single digits last year but this year there has been 62 reported cases because the Tallyban have banned vaccinations..... think about that you anti-vaccine nut jobs with yer chicken pox parties, yer as bad as the Tallyban.  Since 2012, 60 polio workers and security personnel have been killed in Pakistan, not surprising as they stone a woman from their own family to death in front of a court house in plain daylight, not much law or morals going on there.

Old Knudsen does still keep his hand in with the medical side of things .... sometimes his fingers too.
The CIA may not be paying him but the humanitarian in him runs a fertility clinic that has a 96% success rate and of course he does his rounds at various hospitals, never the same department twice.

    

Werk That Ass

Fitness "Guru" Jen Selter wanted to change her life but with average looks and no college her options were limited. Instead of becoming a hooker or marrying some dude she worked out and got a great arse so who cares what she looks like now?

Exhibit A..... Don't flatter yerself no one is paying attention to you.

Now we just need a sex tape.

So men, start bitching/motivating  yer weemen to do squats while they make yer sandwiches. Try this line, "Yer ugly and stupid so work on that ass " she'll thank you for it.

Ass Burger Sunday

 

Good Sunday all you Christian pedos and various other religious molester types. Tis the day that is sacred to the lord,why should anyone get two days off work when he only got one? Some Christians huh.

Look upon these fleshy mounds of adult and turn ye away from the kiddies!  Jesus said, never.

The only thing that makes a chunky ass even hotter is the illusion of intelligence given here by a pair of fake glasses. 

This lass has no glasses and looks fucking dumb but who really cares?

Totally dumb.

A right window licker.

Ok enough with the faces, is that supposed to be hot?

No glasses but at least you could park yer bike.

Have a good Sunday and don't do anything you'd be embarrassed explaining to the paramedics .

Big In Japan

Not being racist or anything but what the fuck is wrong with the Japs? If there is any odd/weird thing going on you just know they are doing it.

They wank to cartoon weemen with big heads and eyes. Ya wonder why there are so many pedos around? Cartoons are for kids, gurls in cartoons showing their gunties is just one step away from kiddie fiddling. Jap gurls pay to have crooked teeth to make their smiles appear younger.... it's wrong on so many levels and not even good animation. 

They love Nazis and dressing up as such. Let me remind you that the Nips were asked to surrender during WWII, they said "no" so the Yanks dropped a nuke on them. Terrible destruction and loss of life, shit the Yanks weren't bluffing huh.
So they asked for surrender yet again and the Nips said "no" so they dropped another one on them and then they surrendered.

What kind of fucked in the head nation needs two nukes dropped on it before it surrenders?

They also lick door handles ??????? .... Old Knudsen doesn't even like to touch door fucking handles.

And they lick pussy .... ugh! I'm more of a dog lover, yes that includes yer Ma!

Ok I get it, weemen in Jap culture have agreed to be men's sexual fantasy actors. They need some backbone to stand up for themselves and for men to start looking after their needs .......... oldknudsen@hotmail.com for all you sexy slitty eyed Jap chicks.... Attractive chinks and Koreans too as Old Knudsen cannae tell any of youse apart anyway. 

School kids in Japland are licking each other's eyeballs because I guess making out is too normal for them.
Ach when they get older it will be their dick they'll want to put anywhere they can. 

Thanks to that eye snog they tend to get eye infections and end up wearing a dopey looking patch .... which has now become a trend to wear.

The Japs are very hive minded and behave more like ants or bees than humans. It reminds me of the Airplane movie when a guy on the dance floor gets stabbed in the back and is doing exaggerated staggering, everyone else thinks it's a new dance and all start to do it ...... thats the Japs.   

Due to the tons of suicides always happening there you don't have to ask, "If yer friend jumped off a bridge would you do the same?"  I think we know the answer.

Hi guys, got any rape?

Japs men are such lookers, no wonder the weemen will degrade themselves that little bit extra for them.

Polyp Fiction

The fate of America was safely in the hands of Dick Cheney as doctors removed five small growths from President Bush's colon, the surgery took 31 minutes during which time Bush was asleep but responsive so no change there to his normal state.

Doctor Nick the head surgeon during the operation said, "we didn't find any WMDs heh heh but we did find plenty of ass juice, fucking gross."

In 1985 Reagan was another arsehole with problems when he had colon cancer surgery, he handed the reigns to daddy Bush at the time for 2 hours who took the opportunity to fuck with the old dementia suffering monkey lovers mind by moving the stuff on his desk around, fucking ex CIA and their mind games .


George W and Laura prepare to go to bed. They no sooner hit the pillows when George farts and says, "Seven Points."

Laura rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"

George replied, "It's fart *football*."

A few minutes later Laura lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

After about five minutes George lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7 bring it on."

Not to be outdone, Laura rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."

Now the pressure is on George . He refuses to get beat by a woman, so he strains real hard, but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally he shits in the bed.

Laura says, "What the hell was that?"

George says, "Half time, switch sides."

*not real football (soccer) American football to name it correctly, only Yanks would call it "foot"ball and use their hands most of the time.*