Ghosts In The Real World

 

 Photographic evidence that not only are ghosts real but that some can reverse aging from beyond.

“I do not believe in God. I see no need of such idea. It is incredible to me that there should be an after-life. I find the notion of future punishment outrageous and of future reward extravagant. I am convinced that when I die, I shall cease entirely to live; I shall return to the earth I came from.” 

W. Somerset Maugham ... author.

Old Knudsen is an open minded skeptic, he adheres to the golden rule from Socrates that 'true knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing' Anyone who thinks they know and have all the answers are therefore fools.
Atheists who say, 'God doesn't exist' or 'there is nothing after death' say it with absolute certainty though they never offer any proof for their assertion. You may say that the burden of proof is on those who say God does exist and that there is an afterlife but that's too convenient for Atheists, that's sloppy reasoning from people who tend to be as smug as the God botherers. 

I don't know if ghosts are real but and can only say that from my experiences that there is more out there and mental illness aside I'd say it's highly probable that spirits or beings that we have difficulty in seeing and hearing are real. 
    

 My door slammed during a Youtube, I'd better check some cupboards.

Since the worldwide use of camera phones you'd think there would be 10 times more UFO and ghost sightings but no, with photoshop it is becoming that if there is a picture of an alien or a spook you automatically cry "Photoshop!" 

This lass 'Miss sunshine' has had a million views on her Youtubes about her ghost. Here she was sitting about to show you how to braid yer hair like Hunger games then her bedroom door closed. Fed up that a ghost was scaring her she grabs the camera and walks into the bathroom and checks under her sink for the ghost that closed her bedroom door .... like you do.

Aye, young people are stupid but she wears short shorts so who cares if it's fake? Young people are into the Paranormal movies and will believe anything, and that is a danger to critical thinking. Fake documentary type movies are as bad as Bible stories on the History channel, stoopid people will believe it. 

Every good lie has a grain of truth which makes it more believable. Many believe Jesus was born in Bethlehem because it's a real place, Spiderman lives in New York, does that make him real? .... No but it makes him more believable.      

This picture was allegedly taken in 1919 of the men from the RAF stationed at the navel air base  HMS Daedalus. The ghostly face behind the fella is Freddy, a mechanic who died 2 days previously. It was taken the day of his funeral and no one knew he was dead .... I don't know how they didn't know but that is the urban myth with it's kernel of truth as HMS Daedalus was real.
It's funny how Freddy is clearer and not so contrasted as the other faces .... This was before photoshop and so must be real .... right? The photo was said to have been first seen in the 70's, you know what i didn't see in the 70's, yep, that photo. You could still fake it in the 70's so don't give me that. 
It's more likely a recent photoshop with a back story that got spread around. 

Captain Bogart Rogers in 1919, the American WWI flying ace was haunted by a young pilot who had died hours previously. While taking this picture a disembodied voice could be heard saying, "touch the cheese down my shorts."
 

Like I said I'm a skeptic. All the spirits, shapes and heads that pop around corners and door ways happen too fast and are usually things that catch my eye. I don't know how I could ever photograph one as they are gone the moment that I notice them. It's hard enough getting people to pose.  

As I've said before, door ways seem to be a favourite place for them and one time in broad daylight I was walking from the outside into the garage, the door was open, I was looking down and as I turned into the doorway I stopped as I saw a figure in front of me, it was a total stop before you bump into someone moment and as I looked up I could see it was a black fuzzy image of a person that fizzled out before my eyes.

Of all the times I've walked through that doorway it has never happened. Eyes adjusting to the darken room? ... then why a person shape when I was watching my step and why has this happened only once and the garage interior wasn't very dark? Eye strain, new medication? .... My eyes were fine and there was nothing different with medication that causing one single hallucination.

I go through this list of possibilities when things like this occur to rule out obvious problems like how the Ghosthunters on TV check the plumbing to explain strange noises. I lived in a house in which when the pipes were hot they would rattle and knock, did I think it was ghosts? Like fuck I did, wise up.

While Old Knudsen has suffered depression and has been on and off numerous medications, he has never experienced hallucinations, he isn't nuts ..... ok? .... I've killed people and kept their heads in my fridge for suggesting less.

 I have a white coat and so you can believe what I say. 

Is it only god botherers, whacky hippies and superstitious people who believe in ghosts? Scientists and eggheads do too.  

Dr Henry Stapp an American physicist believed that consciousness could live on as a mental entity once the brain died. He even suggested that if these entities could make their way back to the physical world and possession and channeling could be possible.

Dr Stuart Hameroff and physicist Sir Roger Penrose have said that a soul was simply the quantum processing in our brains that produced consciousness. So when we die, all that quantum information is simply released into the world.

Peter Fenwick a neuropsychiatrist has said the brain and the mind are two separate entities, and upon death they become separated.

During his career he studied over 300 examples of near death experiences with people who were very ill or dying. Many of these experiences were similar though the people were from all sorts of backgrounds, cultures and belief systems.

He studied Cardiac arrests and as some atheists have told me, once the heart stops and you die there is nothing ...... Except that people still have experiences during these times which to Fenwick proves that consciousness and the brain can exist independent of each other.

These men who think for a living believe that hauntings backed up by their Quantum Mechanics (real mechanics fix cars)  means that a person’s soul is not necessarily trapped on Earth, but a consciousness without a shell is free to slam doors and appear in old photos, not to mention turn up on the John Edwards show to tell people they are there and they love them, though not anything useful. 

Believe things or not it's best to stay open to the possibility because humans really do not know it all.

UFO Over Houston

On the 11th August during a thunder storm hundreds of people witnessed strange lights over Texas. As Texans gazed, slack jawed up at the sky the lights seemed to move in and out of formation. A UFO packed with angry Republican voting alien hybrids or the sparks from Thor's hammer as he smashes the anvil to create the storm? ..... tough call. 
 

The news suggested it might be a freeway light ..... that flew up into the sky, power cord still attached, dislodged each individual light, floated around, formed back up again then floated doon back to over the freeway. They never said that but that is what would have had to happen for that effect to occur high in the sky.   

 

Dr. Carolyn Sumners, vice president for Astronomy at the Houston Museum of Natural Science was asked what she thought it could be, to sum up her answer, 'no fucking idea' that's what happens when you ask a VP. Should have asked the Air force.
The 99% who voted on whether or not they believed in extraterrestrials also believe that Saddam blew up the WTC and there is a paradise in the clouds where you can go to after you die ... but only if yer very very good. 

Texas governor Rick Perry took time out from abusing the power of his office and trampling on the reproductive rights of weemen to say, "nothing to see here, it was the light shining off yer anus"  he then unhinged his jaw and swallowed a large Guinea pig. I do have to say that his hair looked perfect as he gulped that bad boy doon.

What does Old Knudsen think it was? It was an unidentified flying object, that's what. Go on with yer life yer better not knowing ... look! Kim Kardashian uploaded yet another selfie to Twatter, must go and see.  

In Search Of

I'm a hero, I'm a guy, I'm a hero who likes apple pie .... and cocaine.  That's me hero tune for when I go and beat up Nazis and children an shit.

I stand for justice and truth, and I sit for lap dances. I have searched this world far and wide, high and deep, drunk and itchy. If you hear about something strange, in yer neighbourhood, who ya gonna call?

 Ballymena Knudsen!  

If you don't have my mumber then I mustn't like you, e-mail me instead. 

I went on the search for the illusive Sasquatch or Bigfoot. A large ape-like creatures that goes around leaving footprints and can only be captured on poor quality video.

I went to British Columbia, every since the Colombians and the British colonized the area reports of these creatures have been numerous, the British Colombians are a very mellow people, unless you start selling potted plants or something.

I usually don't listen to half the threats I get but they did mention something about growing and selling plants in pot .... now that was strange.

There was a decline in sightings around 2002 which coincidentally was the same time that camera phones came out, experts believe that the mothership probably beamed them up around that time or they returned to their home at the center of the Earth. 

Well I when looking for a Sasquatch and unless they were hiding on those secret farms I kept finding they don't exist. 

Maybe they do live at the center of the Earth and one pops out to scare hikers now and again but there is no evidence to support their existence. 

Biff! and onto the next mystery ..... UFO'S. They are real!!!! I look up at the sky constantly and say, "what the fuck is that?"

No I'm not talking spaceships, we know they are real, I'm talking UFO .... unidentified flying object. During my search I took a dizzy spell and fell flat on me back, as I lay there in my vomit (I left that bit out) I looked up and saw this mysterious round object in the night sky and I said, "wha the fuck is that?"

More dizziness took me and I blacked out. I think I was processed by a sky demon or something since I woke the next day around noon and found that I had managed to find my way home and I don't recall how I got there. I hope the blood I was covered in didn't mean anything serious.

Now for the next mystery ..... Ballymena, what the fuck is that about? 

A town in the Northern Ireland cuntryside that's famous for Liam Neeson, and and and ..... it's also known for it's drugs, farmers, xenophobia, tractors, being in the Bible belt, Ian Paisley's stomping grounds and for fucking sheep. 

Some have disappeared, never to be seen again in it's one way road system, attracted by rumours of great shopping, a rumour started by the farmers themselves. 

Little known facts about Ballymena: 

Obama oftens gets drunk and toys with the idea of nuking it. 

There is a Hellmouth under the town. 

The manager of the local Boots the chemist was burned for witchcraft after he had automatic doors installed. When they realised that his spirit was still around, opening the doors for people to walk through, the shop was then burned to the ground.

Ballymena once had a hipster ..... once. 

Tire marks can still be seen in the road from when Liam Neeson left the town. 

98% of sheep in Ballymena have been victims of sexual abuse, you can tell the ones as their wool is baggier than usual because of their body issues and low self esteem. While Ballymena sheep produce more wool they will never look you in the eye. 

If you see a billboard advertising Fairhill shopping centre, do not go. The floor gives way and traps visitors in a basement dungeon and the locals eat you. 

Those touchy about Ballymena sheep shagging comments have usually fucked a sheep. 

There! another mystery solved, Ballymena is real.     

 

Aliens Stole My Dingo

Why would aliens keep abducting people? .......... According to 67 year-old Hilary Porter it's to collect eggs and genetic material for breeding purposes. The aliens are making alien/human hybrids.

The aliens have been abducting Hilary since the age of two, she kept disappearing from a secure back garden only to be found a half mile away. Her memory of those times are vague, the human mind does that as a natural defence against something traumatic, I wonder what it could be 

 It wasn't us, it was the aliens .... yeah that's right. 

When she was 5 years-old a reptilian appeared in front of her as she played in a field near her house, it dragged her into a disc shaped object parked nearby where it stripped her and put an instrument right up her. She remembers screaming and then nothing.
Sounds like Old Knudsen's honeymoon to his 7th wife, aye me hole still hurts from time to time, what a mean wee woman she was.  

The first recorded abduction was in 1954 so according to Hilary she has been taken since the late 1940's.
You'd think they'd have all the samples they need for hybrids by now.

Did you know that in 90% of child abuse cases the child knows the abuser and in 68% of cases it's a family member? ..... no idea why I felt the need to tell you this.

Hilary also believes she was abducted while driving near Cardiff in the 1970's, and later while she was hanging bunting for a charity event and when she worked at a top-secret Marconi research laboratory which is now a British Aerospace company. That alien had snow on it's boots and spoke with a thick Russian accent.

After each encounter she suffers migraines and feels ill. Many times she has fresh scars or bruises and there are bloody marks or stains on her clothes or bedsheets. 

Aye I bet the alien makes her sleep on the wet patch too. Old Knudsen very often wakes up with cuts and bruises, no memory of the night before and covered in someone else's blood, does that mean he's been abducted or does that mean he should stop drinking furniture polish?

 Hilary and her partner Ken.

She went to the doctor about her ear implant and of course since it's the NHS the doctor told her it was ear wax, what the fuck do doctors know anyway.You go in with depression and thoughts of suicide and the doctor says, "well you can't be that bad if you made it in here, go do something nice like go for a walk."

Old Knudsen went in cos he had really bad wind and asked the doctor to give him something for it, the bloody doctor gave him a kite.

Ken runs the British Earth and Aerial Mysteries Society .... which as a funny coincidence spells beams and he owns a device used to find bugs and listening devices, hey who doesn't own one of those? Well it goes ding ding ding when put up to her ear. I'm sure she removes her ear rings I mean they maybe crazy but they aren't stoopid. 

Hilary also worked for the Ministry of Defence as a draftsman/woman which makes you wonder who has compromised her and to what ends? 

She draws pictures of her abductions and hopes to make a self-help manual for abductees as over 1,500 people have cum to her with similar stories. 

Time to call in Sam and Dean Winchester to remove a few heads. 

So the Greys are working for the Reptilians and there maybe someone higher up than them, then you have the weird stories of the figures who appear to children in playgrounds and at schools, that figure was all black with red glowing eyes and wearing a white jumpsuit with badges. The figure would point to kids with dark hair and say, "I want you" the children seemed to be transfixed on it's gaze. 

Aliens or some kind of spirit? Now Old Knudsen has seen spirits and while he would not be so stupid or arrogant to state that there is no such thing as [ insert creature here] he awaits proof or a first hand encounter. 

A black figure in the distance walking up the mountain? ..... must be Sasquatch rather than a really fit person. 

Is this a real ghost?   Seen in a Bolivian sports stadium. It moves so fast and you can see through it.... must be true.

Except that when Old Knudsen saw that first link he said, "hold on there it looks different from the first time when the story came out."

So after a search he found it reported on a news site rather than Youtube. Since it got famous, someone went to the trouble of making it slightly see through. The original is clearly a solid figure. 

To Old Knudsen it's a person running very fast along a row of empty seating. Bolivians are short legged fuckers they can do this running in confined spaces thing, it's not a big mystery. 

Question everything and if it's on the Interwebs question is twice. If you believe anything put up on Facebook then just kill yerself, at least check out the comments before you post as there is always someone smarter than you with the link as to why it is fake.  

 We think we are so modern and know everything but we don't have a clue and there are creatures/beings who run circles around us and most of us don't even know. There are also idiot people who want to believe and try to make things real to make them feel important.... see Catholic Pope miracles.      

Hilary might be a very nice lady but seriously Old Knudsen would be more interested in the DNA and breeding of this lass, maybe aliens aren't so shallow. 'yeah I want her DNA because she is a clever and witty person' ..... so ghey!  I bet she isn't even a natural blonde for fucks sake.

Why do they keep coming back? Are they like the NHS and keep fucking up the samples so you have to give more? 

Yes she had a hush hush secret electronics job in the 70's, do you think that inter-dimensional, time  traveling aliens would be interested in 70's tech ?   Maybe they were helping us along or retrieving stuff from their crashed craft that we took. It was the 70's, maybe it was the mushrooms dude.

It seems that these secretive aliens and their spaceships are seen quite regularly. Just try to remember that UFO means unidentified flying object, not necessarily a spaceship from another world. If Old Knudsen did have to guess he would say another dimension or time and quite possibly the same world. 

You can see Youtubes of strange sights and lights and assuming that not all are fake then yer left wondering what the fuck? 

Airline pilots have told their stories of near collisions with unidentified craft or lights, astronauts have told about lights in space that followed them, hey guess what douche begs, we don't know everything about the universe.

Hilary will be giving a talk in Hastings for the Anomalous Mind Management, Abductee, Contactee, Helpline conference. I wonder if she'll mention that about 80% of 21-year-olds who were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder. 

What do you do if you see a space man? you park man. 

Don't dismiss everything outright, keep an open mind and keep asking questions until you get proof and I don't mean a Youtube. "For the wise man looks into space and he knows there is no limited dimensions." ~Lao Tzu