The CIA Will Turn On You Eventually

The CIA have always been sneaky buggers. They monitor, influence and shape foreign powers to benefit the United States of America.

Probably the most important of all the agencies as it is them that have contact with all those dirty foreigners types across the world.

While American snowflakes can cry outrage at Russians hacking their election you can be sure that the CIA have done this many times before but that doesn't count because it's um outside of the US.

Like Obama's drone strikes. He was such a good president, yeah good at killing civilians that weren't American. We'll just ignore that shall we ... and how he collected data on Americans.

Remember that the US (sometimes with the help of the Brits) has meddled in 81 foreign elections including Russia and Ukraine so Brexit, Trump, this would be karma.

With the CIA we shall free Tibet! 

In the 1950's the CIA trained Tibetans at Camp Hale in the Rocky mountains and at Camp Peary in Virginia to be terrorists guerrillas to liberate Tibet from the Chinese. Over a 5 year period 259 Tibetans passed through those camps.
That doesn't sound like a lot to take on the massive Chinese military .... don't be silly, it was just to annoy and to keep the Chinese busy, the only ones that didn't know that were the resistance fighters.

America did what it's famous for and made a deal in order to have diplomatic relations with China and cut off supplies to the fighters. Yep left them high and dry.

As if the US was interested in freeing Tibet, they just didn't like the Chinese having it but didn't want to fight over it, like Ukraine I suppose.

Didn't have a pic for Albania so fuck em, here is a hot chick instead. 

Then there was the Free Albania movement in the late 1940's. The CIA backed rebels to overthrow the Communist government led by Enver Halil Hoxha. The rebels thought the goal was to topple that regime but the CIA stopped helping them in the final moments and after 1954 (Stalin died in 53) they couldn't be arsed and moved onto other things, those rebels having fought for nothing were left high and dry.

Don't forget the Bay of Pigs in 1961. When you think about it the CIA are kinda shite.

Reagan's mates the Tallyban, that was a CIA success story. Remember when Bush snr stopped short of toppling Saddam in 91? Like Albania all over again and the Kurds were left high and dry.

That great president Obama had a hard on for overthrowing Assad. Not because he is a bad hombre but to weaken Russia and Iran by fucking up the Middle East even more.

Obama got $500 million from Congress to arm and train militants to fight Assad. That's $500 mil in US tax payer money ... it's like 3 of Trump's golf weekends or something.

The CIA used a private company called Purple Shovel LLC  to buy weapons from Belarus.

Belarus had sanctions on them for human rights violations and for selling weapons to Assad but this one time the US government said you can buy 700 anti-tank missiles ... Obama may not have tweeted like a toddler but he was dodgy as fuck.

Straighten up and get that retard look from your face, I want to see your war face

So that $500 million program, after 8 months it had trained 60 fighters. Some of them along with their commander Col. Nadim al-Hassan were captured by the Jabhat al-Nusra group ... awkward!

Not long after that it was confirmed that only 4 - 5 US trained militants were fighting ISIS.

Doesn't anyone ask to see receipts anymore? What was that really about and where did the money go? Was it to enable the US to fight a proxy war within Syria? Trump put an end to those plans. The program to arm rebels was an Obama thing so .... undo it!

If Obama had the cure for cancer Trump would throw it out. All those turkeys that Obama pardoned every Thanksgiving .... all slaughtered now.

Trump also intends on getting rid of abortion and same sex marriage, incest will be legal within consenting families daddy always knows best ask Ivanka and he plans on swapping back Sgt Bergdahl to the Tallyban for a better deal which cost 5 top level Tallyban prisoners and $988,400.

Trump knows about deals ... especially settling out of court but we won't get into that FAKE NEWS!

The CIA have done so much damage and have made so many enemies. They'll turn on you eventually. Expresslane is a program developed by the Office of Technical Service which is a dept within the CIA. OTS developed Expresslane to spy on the other agencies like the FBI, DHS and the NSA.

While sharing some Intel is routine if it crosses into their domain but the Intel community is a paranoid suspicious lot and rightly so. Expresslane was physically put onto computers as a fake upgrade but what it really did was help themselves to whatever bio-metric data those agencies had on Americans.

Get bio-metrics done for a passport or to get welfare guess what? The CIA got it. No wonder they are all paranoid.

Back in the real world that most Americans aren't interested in learning about. The CIA are propping up US friendly fighters and governments. All to stop the growth of the likes of Russia and Iran not because they believe in freedom.

The CIA are also one of the world's biggest buyer of the AK-47. All the war torn countries have been flooded with them for years. While ISIS will take the equipment from the Iraqi soldiers or from the $500 million program, other groups prefer the Russia weapons so then it isn't so obviously they are getting help from the CIA.      

Decoding Trump And His Wire Tapp

It's all in the wording. Trump used the excuse by saying that Obama "Wire Tapped" Trump Tower but by being in quotes meant a general sort of wire tapping or surveillance. Like when your sibling stands in your door way annoying you and says "mom said not to go into your room so I'm not, na na na".

Without admitting that you make shit up you then back up your claim by saying it was widely reported upon which doesn't really mean anything.  They say that a lot.  

If you use quotation marks as an excuse don't forget those times when you didn't

Trump then insisted that an investigation must be started as a distraction from his healthcare bill and Jeff Sessions being a traitor. That panel said they have not seen any evidence of a wire tap from US sources that means they are being polite and not calling you a liar, that doesn't mean you accuse GCHQ of doing it. 

Not only didn't Obama wire tap Trump Tower but he didn't get a foreign power to do it either. GCHQ issued a statement with the words, 'utterly ridiculous' which is very strong language for the English. In basic American friendly terms it would be more of a 'are you fucking high? I'm this close to knocking 10 shades of shite out of you dickhead.'  

If they had said 'bloody ridiculous' then the SAS would probably be burning out the White House like in 1812.

Remember Angela Merkel? Yeah Obama tapped that. In 2010 he ordered a tap on Merkel's phone and GCHQ helped him to do it. 

Now think about Trump ... yeah I know it's not pleasant but he fills the news cycle, you can try to ignore him but then you'd be living in denial like how we pretend not to see hobo's because dirty boak beards are gross. Or like how Russia and Iran don't have poofters.  

Trump is a malignant narcissist, imagine his horror when the likes of Obama ...  a durty Muslim from Kenya can't even be arsed to wire tap him. 

Why isn't everything about me thinks Trump, cos everything is about Old Knudsen you fucktard, that's why. The only reason why Old Knudsen hasn't achieved werld wide fame is because the gods conspire against him ... fucken gods and their jealousy of perfection huh? ... they will pay! Sad!

Well like I was sayin, a fucken malignant narcissist.  

 

Being A Cunt Is A Part Of God's Plan

It's lucky for you that so far I've always won at Russian roulette because where would you go for moral guidance? When you don't know the answer you know that unless I'm dead with a gunshot wound to the head or haven't made bail yet you can always come to Old Knudsen to light yer way. They used to call me the light bringer back in the good old days .... they also called me pissy pants and octopus hands but we won't go into that.

 
I don't just get my knowledge from the classics like Chick soup for the soul or The art of the deal I also have experienced older classics like Dickens and Steve Jane Austin in fact I've often watched those movies twice and the re-makes too. I know Shakespeare too or The Bard as we call him, like Bruce Springsteen's The Boss but old Will doesn't make faces like he's constipated, aye I saw Shakespeare in Dr Who and when he fell for Gwyneth Paltrow.

To be Scooby dooby doo to not to be .... zoinks is the question.

   Boy, gurl, whatever, I'm having you. I'll put me salty goodness in yer pepper pots.

I'm a total reconnaissance man, a man fer all seasons but me hip gives me jip when it gets cold. That whole transgender using restrooms things is wrong. When I'm in a stall pushing out a delivery of muddy puddle water and sweet corn I don't want to think about some hot chick in the next stall urinating.

What man would want to share a restroom with this?    

I'm sure the ladies don't want this in their restrooms. 

It says explicitly in the Bible that a restroom is between a man and a woman. Remember when Jesus found Mary Magdalene in the men's room because the ladies had a line, he got so angry he punched the hand dryer off the wall and over tuned the urinal cakes. God may be a fictional being designed to help you from feeling pathetic and lonely and that you actually matter but he cares about who poops and where. 

Fuck famine and poverty, this has to be dealt with. I suggest getting a colostomy bag to avoid being offended.

 

  Should filthy red skins Native Americans even have "land rights?"

Senator John McCain is backing Hillary for preez .... she doesn't need it as she already has it in the bag. Prove me wrong Americans, vote for Trump and see Hillary still winning it. I was at the almost secret  Rothschild/Bilderberg group meeting in May of 2014 held in Broughshane which is near Ballymena. There was a astrological convergence overhead at the time and finding a virgin to sacrifice was near impossible, what a crazy night, we had to get one in from Eastern Europe for fucks sake.  

Trump said that McCain is only famous because he is a loser that got captured during the Vietnam war, you know, the one that America lost to gooks with pointed sticks. I'm sure saying that has nothing to do with McCain backing Hillary. 

As usual Trump is right. You had one job to do McCain, bomb the fuck out of civilians and anyone else then fly back for a cup of Joe and relax.  

Why do we have remembrance days? Fucken losers ya failed! Ya got killed. You don't have special days in honour of the Wal Mart sales assistant that refused to go to the back to look to see if they had anymore of that item. You don't see monuments to the unknown worker because you can't find one to reach the top shelf and they don't have inscribed on them, 'if it's not out then we don't have it' you don't celebrate the surgeon when they kill off patients because their golfing just won't wait. 

Too much mind blowing logic for ya? 

  

How about this. The Pope worships Satan. He only took in less than 20 Syrian refugees not out of compassion but because 1) they won't be missed when he drains then dry and 2) good help is so difficult to get these days. The Vatican treats its followers like shit but these outsiders can be whipped for the sake of their heathen souls .... even if they did convert for a free bed.

He could sell off one of his golden upside down crosses and house a few families for life. You ask 'well how many have you taken in?'  and I'd reply thousands more than him if I had his multi billion industry at my command.  The road to Hell is paved with good intentions so this was obviously him doing some road werk. 

23 people in the US have been shot dead by toddlers this year ... and it's only May. Never mind a war on drugs it's the kids we have to destroy. Bill Gates had the right idea releasing those Zika virus laden mosquitoes onto the werld but seriously the children are vicious. 

I'm no blaming the parents, it's in the constitution that children should be given guns. In my day at the age of seven we'd go out at night and kill a Helot, that was people owned by the state who would kindly werk for free .... aye they were different times back then but now kids are born knowing how to use a Smart phone and to shoot people. 

23 is a good number, in Pakistan 23 people have been poisoned when they ate contaminated sweets. The people that made the baked confectionery accidentally put pesticide in. Like you do. Barney taught me that it was good to share but you must also look at their faces and wait for any reaction. I'm no saying I'm paranoid but I bet you lot are saying it to all yer friends. 

You dinnae cum here for the grammar so who the fuck sent you? 

If the sweets don't kill you in Pakistan then Obama will. In 2009 his first drone strike leveled a hoose in Pakistan killing 10 militants .... well it turned out to be 9 civvies and the lone survivor a 14 year-old boy had stomach wounds, a fractured skull and lost and eye. Ach wee Fahim Quresh lived in Pakistan and so was probably going to be a terrorist anyways .... or at least after the US killed his family. 

They did another strike that day killing 5 - 10 civilians. I assume Obama didn't have a golf course booked or the weather wasn't good or something. In 5 years from 2009 - 2014 Obama killed 2,400 people, at least 273 of them were civvies. Far more that Bush with his pathetic 281 with 24 being civilians. 

People say how cool Obama is and how he'll be missed, not in Pakistan, Yemen or Somalia .... cuntries the US is NOT at war with yet keeps killing people there. Maybe it's his support of fracking that the people will miss.

Who the fuck needs clean water when there is affordable fuel to be had? We can always buy bottles of the stuff and what the fuck do you think wet wipes are for?

Radioactive tritium has leaked from 75% of US nuclear power plants and often into the ground water. You've probably read about it on the news .... well you have to pay attention to the little blurbs but it's out there buried under Kim Kardashian's fat arse.

More important than safe drinking water.

That's 48 of 65 sites according to the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission. Don't worry the levels are going to kill you safe and it's trendy to die from cancer these days anyways. No one has ever gone to New Jersey for the good of their health so whatever ... right?

Well I think Strontium-90 sounds fucken cool and hey drinking lead never did the residents of Flint Michigan any harm of gurn the fuck up and dry yer eyes, all 8 of them. If there was something wrong with the water the government wouldn't wait for a rogue scientist to tell the public, they would do it themselves immediately.

Or if there was a huge gas leak causing an environmental disaster and causing thousands to be relocated, Southern California Gas Co wouldn't wait 110 days before reporting it.

You stupid Americans and yer money grabbing ways. Europe is so much more eco friendly, you should learn from us ..... not Northern Ireland or the rest of the UK cos we burn tryes and rig car omissions tests and have started fracking but still, our hospitals are almost smoke free ... ish. At least the doctors have stopped smoking on the wards .... aye they vape now. 

Luckily radiation goes away after 1000 years or so scientists tell us because scientists are smart ..... which is why I listen obediently and agree with everything they say about climate change. Scientists are not like normal people and never omit or alter facts to suit their agenda of paying their rent.

We are all citizens of the werld so when the Japs build nuke plants on the ring of fire we should also share in the contaminated sea food. 

Black rhinos are extinct the Great barrier reef is dying and has to be called the no as good as it used to be barrier reef. Like algebra and bathing I've never had a use for any of them so it isn't as dire as it looks.  

I hope this post has taught you to be a better person. You are a part of nature as any flower or tree so don't feel guilty about eating factory reared chickens or not recycling because what ever you decide to do is natural and a part of God's plan. Since the cunt in the sky has a plan you have no control over yer life it's called predestination. 

Free choice is like free speech, you say "nigger" on Twitter after downing a bottle of beat the wife you are gonna have to say sorry. Like control yer freedoms are an illusion, it's up to the government and then that's up to God and he's a fucking fictional nutter that hates you.   

Hating gheys, keying yer neighbour's car then telling them it was kids or teasing weemen with my tight nylon not too piss stained troosers is God's will and totally natural. On Earth day I did shout racial slurs at school kids and it did feel good, "go on ya white bastards with yer flat arses and creepy blue eyes" so learn from Old Knudsen and be a part of nature cos it's God's fault. 

   

Conspiracy Isn't In The Shadows Anymore

Have you heard about this Zika virus? I hadn't heard of it until a few weeks ago. It makes unborn babies look like Dobby the hoose elf, with an underdeveloped brain. Central American governments are suggesting that you shouldn't get pregnant until 2018.

The World Health Organization says it's spread by mosquitoes and there is no cure for it. It could reach pandemic scale and come back in 10 years then there might be a vaccine of some sort.

Och wee dote. 

If it does hit big it could mean a generation of morons, I don't know if I could take that. Every year there is someone ranting about chemtrails or sharing the videos on how snow doesn't burn. Old Knudsen doesn't believe in that science stuff but he does have the fucken Internet .... the dress is gold and white, the government just wants you to think it's black and blue to see if their chemtrail mind control is working. 

If you were going to shoot chemtrails over Northern Ireland would it not be rat poison to get rid of the vermin known as people? We aren't worth any other kind of effort and you couldn't dumb us down anymore than we are. 

Then you have yon rapper B.o.B arguing with Neil deGrasse Tyson that the Earth is flat because when he takes pictures of the horizon he can't see a curve.  I don't know about you but I go to rappers (especially high school drop outs) when I have a science question, Fitty Cent was the one that told me about the Climate Change conspiracy .... Where is the normal temperature of the Earth be at? .... ighhhtt! 

I swear, these are the people that answer Yahoo Questions. If I have to tell one more person about Ad-Block plus .... figure it the fuck out, you have the Interwebs!!!!!!

If it wasn't for the Urban dictionary I would never have discovered the pleasures of wolfbagging or what a Mexican pancake is.

Mosquitoes have been getting around over the last couple of decades. West Nile virus (a relative of Zika) was their last big thing. Zika virus has been around since 1947 but it takes a while to get around. 

Don't go forgetting about Ebola, that was a big thing not too long ago .... almost like a test run to see how freaked out people would get. Remember, if yer gonna test stuff out then do it in Africa. The first form of the Zika virus came from Uganda and don't forget Aids. 

Africa is a vast sprawling Continent with 3rd world nations and dodgy laws and corrupt officials. Questions do not get asked when you ship things in and out of many African ports. It's also still hard to get news from parts of Africa. There are reasons why the Chinese fucken love it there, it's almost as slack as home.

Bill Gates like that other 1% er Mark Zuckerberg donate billions to charity all the time ... well to their own causes at least. You don't get to be a billionaire by giving away yer money. Gates through his Bill and Milinda foundation seem to be very interested in mosquitoes. Remember when Bill released mosquitoes into an audience for fun? 

Gates who is a big investor in Monsanto in India had done polio vaccine tests there with a vaccine that the CDC had dropped in 2000 for actually causing polio. Gates claims to not have known about this but the Indian government has accused him of 47,500 paralysis deaths.  Testing on remote villages isn't cool Gates!

The CDC  (Centers for Disease Control) are dirty lying fuckers themselves. They made Aids a worldwide panic and lied about contaminated drinking water in Washington DC, much like what Flint Michigan is going through. Don't trust them. 

Back to Mosquitoes. Eritrea in the Horn of Africa reduced mosquito deaths by 80% over a couple of decades. They did this with clean drinking water, destroying mosquito breeding grounds and malaria nets to sleep under. 

No vaccines involved. Bill Gates keeps taking about vaccines though ... even after India. They always want to make something they can sell huh. He has also talked about mosquitoes that deliver the vaccine, you know who else talked about such things? .... The Nazis. 

Experiments at Dachau had the Nazis looking at weaponizing mosquitoes to send to the enemy. This is real science and hard to follow the trail back.   

How do you fool the people? mock and belittle the truth and anyone that tells it.

Is it a conspiracy when the Governor tells you that the drinking water is safe even though it's full of lead? Is it a conspiracy when the CDC also let you drink contaminated water and become a well funded and important department over Aids which is actually pretty difficult to catch? Is it a conspiracy when Monsanto try to muscle out all competition for growing non-Monsanto crops and the government lets them? Is it a conspiracy when the NSA get caught collecting data on the US people and intercepting communications from our allies? Is it a conspiracy when any whistleblowers are automatically found guilty? Is it a conspiracy that we always seem to be at war and even with troop numbers being cut the weapons industry still make big profits? Is it a conspiracy that we are still driving cars not too different than they were 100 years ago? Is it a conspiracy when terrorist groups like Khorasan pop up but no one except for the government has heard of them, but they are totally deadly? Is it a conspiracy that everyone seems to die of cancer? Is it a conspiracy that we invaded Iraq for no good reason? is it a conspiracy that no top level people in the British government ever got jailed for pedophilia and the guy in charge of the investigation was one of the suspects? Is it a conspiracy that the British government let terrorist attacks happen in Northern Ireland and lost evidence regularly?

7.3 billion people on this world, the 1% have to be worried. That is why you don't have a job for life, dumbed down education, crippling debt and can only afford iPhones and fast food .... bread and circuses.  A cull would be too drastic and you don't want to live on a radiation soaked rock. You still need a labour force but not one that has too much or is too well educated. 

You improve on your WMD's (buy our Brimstone missiles) and yer plagues on the poor, the free press being owned by just a few people, your details and location being known at all times thanks to social media. Scare yer own population with what might happen because a scared population are easier to control, they end up giving you their rights and freedoms. 

Remember when I pointed out that the weapons, food and medical industries all have the same investors in all three? Like Obama talking climate change and supporting fracking. Oil is too cheap so fracking is the future. 

As Napoleon said: "Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."  .... substitute the fear of Hell for fear of bodily harm and terrorist attacks though many still believe the burn in Hell bullshit .... especially those poor uneducated nations, they are still way into it.  

 Ha ha ha, I really hate you ..... I can't stand you either lol.

It isn't conspiracy if it is actually happening and not all people that suggest a conspiracy go on about melting steel beams and burning snow.  Can you readily explain the actions of world leaders? You don't hear about how the US continually provokes Russia on its border but Russia is always the bad guy. 

There are no good guys and bad guys, just people out for themselves. You don't get rich or at the top of your ladder by being nice, you step on the people on the way up. 

 

 

    

 

Unicorn Lives Matter

 

Give us this day all that you showed me, the power and the glory, till my kingdom comes. Today's wisdom comes from the fine Scottish group Ultravox from Hymn in 1982. Life is a wonderful gift from God who while knows everything that will happen has given man free will. This is solely for the purpose of saying, "I told you so" as he sends you to burn for eternity. 

Saying how your thoughts and prayers are with someone while yer actions may have contributed to the problem has led to prayer shaming, yep another catchy name for something to feel bad about. Telling a poor wee NRA member to go fuck themselves when they are sympathetic to yet another shooting, disgraceful, don't you dare prayer shame these hypocrites.

Give me all the storybook told me, the faith and the glory, till my kingdom comes. It really is just a storybook and if you have to get yer morals from it then maybe yer just a naturally bad person to begin with, a crazy ass book isn't going to make you better. Is there any logic or reason to think there is a magical after life? .... beats reality doesn't it.

Don't rely on others to tell you how special you are, you'd be in for disappointment if your self esteem depended on what others thought of you .... that includes Jesus too. Love yourself people. 

And they said that in our time, all that's good will fall from grace, even saints would turn their face in our time.
Well the Catholic church sure fell from grace and continues to slide doon the gutter with its lies and oppression, much beloved John Paul II was just a smiling kindly looking front for evil, just like Pope Francis.

All churches seem to be very quiet, not much outrage, it's almost as if everything is ok with them. A vague statement every other month is all they are capable of it seems. 

It's easy to believe that there isn't very much good left in the world with the wars and destruction of nature and all the British TV and radio stars of the 70's and 80's turning out to be pedos, like the twice knighted Sir Jimmy Savile who raised millions for charity.

And they told us that in our days, different words said in different ways, have other meanings from he who says in out time. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, by sex he meant no pussy action, only oral ... sex, which isn't real sex and doesn't count.

The Bush admin gave us the global war on terror and insurgents as a buzz word for the enemy. Enhanced interrogation really meant torture and people were fine about that.
    
Obama knows about branding and those unpopular wars became Overseas Contingency Operation, bombing even became kinetic action. Of course Bush, Blair, Obama and Cameron just constantly lie to us all the time because they are better and more clever than us .... hey we were the idiots that put them into power.

And they said that in our time we would reap from their legacy, we would learn from what they had seen in our time.
The amount of loss Northern Ireland suffered during the battle of the Somme meant that young men were very hesitant in joining up to die in WWII. Wasn't World War one supposed to be the war to end all wars and the great war for civilisation? Weren't we supposed to learn from the carnage so it didn't happen again? Maybe after a generation when memories fade it all just starts again. The changing face of war means less loss for the more developed nations and now the public cry over those we kill.

And they told us that in our days, we would know what was high on high, we would follow and not defy in our time.   

If you go against what our leaders want then yer a terrorist sympathiser and no doubt unpatriotic. The class system is crumbling so now people have to be kept in check by dumbing them down and using double talk that no one really understands. Their fear of the other gets exploited so much that when they see this

They think OMG terrorists!

People lament on the good ol days when everyone had a job for life and a pension at the end of it. Owning technology and luxury items set you apart from others because a VCR cost a grand for fucks sake but now everyone has the shit that you have and you aren't all that.

The good ol days were pretty good .... for white people, all the segregation and injustice against minorities gets forgotten about. It's best to just ignore abortion and gay people and to maybe shun all those that don't fit with us out of society with a big dose of shame.

Memories are selective, the people cannot be trusted with the truth and things change.The world is a smaller place so we now tend to see more of the bad shit but there was always bad shit. We were happier in the good ol days because with ignorance came bliss.

We are told lies from the day we are born by parents, educators, clergy, media, politicians and all those who came before us that decided that this is how we do things. Some lies are to cover up worse lies as it's all a matter of what you are willing to accept. Is murder ok if we call it war?
  

Feel free to listen to Ultravox Hymn  
  

Obama Doesn't Care What You Think

President Obama really doesn't give a shit. It's coming up to the end of his second term and as he puts it, "being president isn't that hard."He,

Improved the economy with his stimulus package, he created more jobs in 2010 than Bush had done in 8 years, he saved the auto industry, he helped the US housing market recover, encouraged small businesses, he cut ties between energy companies and the government, ordered all federal contractors to pay a minimum wage of $10.10 per hour, under him the country to 64 consecutive months of economic expansion, reduced the deficit by two-thirds, the stock market restored most of the economic losses felt during the Bush Recession, banned gifts from lobbyists to anyone in the Executive Branch, became the first to stream every White House event live, signed a law to reform NSA Data Collection program, ordered 65 Wall street executives who took bailout money to cut their own pay until they paid back all bailout money, repealed the discriminatory Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy, changed his mind and supported same-sex marriage, issued an order requiring hospitals to allow visitation by same-sex couples, he extended federal benefits to same-sex couples, appointed more openly gay officials than anyone in history, appointed first openly transgender Cabinet Official in History, he made a law that gave cake to everyone on Thursdays, saw the first drop in the federal prison population in 32 years, helped to restore America’s reputation around the world though everyone still hates the US, closed a number of secret detention facilities Gitmo will be soon, refused to give Israel the green light to attack Iran, prohibited the use of torture or enhanced interrogation, ended the failed F-22 program, saving $4 billion, ended the Iraq War ... ish, shot Osama between the eyes with a drone, made nice with China and Cuba, made a deal with Iran that will prevent them from getting a nuclear weapon anytime soon, increased border security, got combat troops with better body armor, supported and signed Veterans Health Care Budget Reform and Transparency Act, pushed through the largest spending increase in 30 years for Department of Veterans Affairs, a $4.6 billion expansion of the Veterans Administration budget to pay for more mental health professionals, issued an Executive Order to improve access to mental health care for veterans, military personnel and their families, ended the media blackout on coverage of the return of fallen soldiers, major expansion of broadband availability in schools, major expansion in school construction, expanded the Pell Grants program to get low income students to college, passed and signed Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, increased funding for student financial aid, ended restrictions on embryonic stem cell research, more federal funding to support non-defense science and research labs, signed Christopher and Dana Reeve Paralysis Act, provided financial support for private sector space programs, signed a bill authorizing FDA to regulate tobacco, provided $500 million for Health Professions Training Programs, a 50% decrease in cost of prescription drugs for seniors, made it legal to fuck any animal under 40 LBS, signed the Children’s Health Insurance Reauthorization Act, signed the Affordable Care Act, helped lower-income and rural families in accessing broadband, created new rules to give all women with insurance the right to free birth control, cracked down on companies that were previously denying sick pay, vacation and health insurance, cut taxes for 95% of America’s working families, a $20 billion increase for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (Food Stamps), passed the Healthy Hunger-Free Kids Act, six weeks paid leave for all federal employees with a new baby, the first time since 1984 that unemployment dropped in all 50 states and the District of Columbia, doubled federal spending on clean energy research, a tax credit to help people buy plug-in hybrid cars, dependence on foreign oil has dropped to its lowest rate since 1985, stricter standards limiting power plant emissions, strengthened the Endangered Species Act, increased funding for National Parks and Forests by 10%, a tripling in the use of wind power to generate electricity, expanded clean water regulations, increased funding for the National Endowment for the Arts.

Of course not every positive is a positive such as his plan for net neutrality and his increased jobs in drones and weapons manufacturing. But, not bad for a Muslim black kid from Kenya .... he did better than Bush and even Reagan in many places.