Brock Turner's Only Crime Was Recycling

I'm going to let you in on a secret. White Privilege is real ... it is, we even have a secret handshake and code werds. But it's like Santa, question it too much and it goes away.
We never speak about it we just quietly acknowledge each other with a nod. One time in SoCal I was standing over some bodies, my knife dipping with blood as I looked through their pockets for the crack I was owed a police car pulled up and two officers jumped out, a black one and a white one. The black one was all like 'drop the weapon' as he pointed his gun at me, the white cop said "back off Tay Tay I got this" and he behaved like a white person.

Yes that's where the expression 'act the white man' comes from. It doesn't mean oppress or rape it means to be a nice person ... nothing racist there. They helped me get my crack and gave me a lift home. Tru story bro.

In Sainsbury's when I buy stuff they give me like triple the Nectars points on my next shop or £5 off when I buy dog chews next time .... being white is awesome! At Tesco they don't even charge me, I just walk through the barrier beeping cos Barry the security guard is morbidly obese and can't run but why would you run after white people? 

Life hack: If yer white and running from the scene of a crime just tell the police you are jogging. White people do that kind of shit. 

Even the police here have decided that when most people drive off without paying for petrol at the pump it's an honest mistake and not worth police time, it rocks having only 1% of the people in Northern Ireland being ethnic. They of course drive off without paying on purpose .... duh! 

 George Washington was white but black people stole his name cos he didn't have a TV.

God is white, Jesus is white, most people that win Oscars are white, Obama would be completely white if he could be, he kills brown people with drones like a whitey. 

We stuff and mount African natives and put them on display in Spain, sorta like Planet of the Apes, this was in 1831. We got away with it until some cunt wrote a book about it in the late 90's and in 2000 ended up sending it back to Africa for a burial. We had the last laugh though cos he got a Christian burial. 

Shorty it's yer birthday, we're gonna bury you like yer a Christian. Cause you know we don't give a fuck about yer religion. 

 

Poor Brock Turner, misunderstood, middle class white boy. He is far better adjusted than most men children kids. He knows that you have to value Mother Nature. After a night of partying at a party with a huge amount of leezers cos this playa didn't get any action, even with those swimmer's shoulders. 

 Oh look, someone threw out a white girl.

He passed by a dumpster and saw a white girl lying there. He shook his head in disgust at America waste and thought that maybe he could fix her up. Before going to the effort of carrying her to his pad he wanted to check out if she was still in decent condition. 

 I like.

Here is where the misunderstanding cums in. Two Scandinavians saw him and decided to impose their loose Scandinavian morals upon him.  

Brock Turner isn't a rapist! According to the law in Callyfornia and even here in the UK he is not a rapist as he didn't insert his penis into her. DNA tests came back negative hence the short sentence, he's merely a sex offender but who isn't? 

 So quit judging him you open carry nutters and stay off his fucken lawn!

Yeah he "only" inserted a foreign object into her. by foreign I'm suspecting it said 'made in China' on it ... everything does.    
The poor lad served 3 long months in prison and has to carry this burden with him all his life just because of his beliefs in recycling. 

I blame the parents. Brock is the name of the hyper sexual trainer in Pokemon. "nurse Jenny I'd love to splurge all over your anime titties"  so what else could Brock have become?      

Brock is the victim here.  White privilege is real but the rest of the world is going crazy. 

In the old days Jews from Brooklyn would get Oscar nominations for playing Injuns red skins Native Americans but now all they get is slagged off for race appropriation ... yes I'm looking at you misunderstood wife beater Johnny Depp. 

We'd have movies like Zulu and The Wild Geese that had murderous black men with big knifes after whitey. We had black face entertainers and I never once took offense. Now you have movies like The Revenant which still has murderous savages but if they are played by real natives and white man is just as murderous then it's ok ... the rules are soo difficult these days. 

Just remember, the first rule of white privilege is that you don't talk about white privilege. The next time yer out and there is free WiFi just accept the injustice of it all and appreciate yer privileges as you surf the Internet for cat pictures for free.     

Brock Turner All American Rapist

All American boy (actually a 20 year-old male) Brock Turner attended a party at his Stanford Campus in January in 2015. He met a 22 year-old woman and they danced and kissed and he invited her back to his dorm room because who wouldn't want to be with a guy who would probably swim for the US in the 2016 Olympics?
As is the way, young passion didn't make it to the dorm and they had sex behind a dumpster. Wow, what a night.

 Brock Turner All American Rapist. 

What actually happened was a 22 year-old woman attended a party on campus with her sister who went there. She had been visiting and this would be her only night with her younger sis. She drank too much, danced too much and as is the way with drink she had some missing time. 

She woke the next day in hospital and was told she had been sexually assaulted. During her blackout she called her boyfriend all slurred and drunk and he told her repeatedly to find her sister. Somehow she collapsed behind a dumpster.  

Brock Turner had been dancing and trying to kiss numerous girls (including the younger sister) but with no success. He somehow noticed a drunk, passed out female behind a dumpster and decided he would take advantage of this weak link, she wouldn't be able to push him away like all the others had.

He removed her bra and underwear, pulled up her skirt, fondled her boobs, fingered her then had a go at humping her. He admitted to not having talked to her but she had touched his back so she must have loved it right? 

Two Swedish students saw them and saw she wasn't moving underneath the 6 foot tall swimmer. They approached and Turner ran but they tackled him and awaited the police. Why run if it was consensual you fucker?

Turner's family hired an expensive lawyer and set about trying to destroy the woman's credibility. She was asking for it, she consented, she knew what she was doing ..... passed out in a heap half naked beside a dumpster covered in dirt. 

An example of white privilege or class privilege? In the US excuses are made for athletes when they are caught raping someone because winning the Lacrosse match is way more important than some worthless slut. 

Even in the UK the public has to put soccer clubs in their place when they think that letting a rapist onto the team is a good idea because he can kick a ball well. 

For some reason people look up to athletes as heroes. The word hero isn't what it used to be. 

Brock was found guilty of three felonies. Assault with intent to rape an intoxicated woman, sexually penetrating an intoxicated person with a foreign object and sexually penetrating an unconscious person with a foreign object. 

He was given only 6 months in the county jail and 3 years probation. His father who not only named him 'Brock' which rhymes with cock, and raised him to not respect women and didn't teach him that rape is wrong penned a letter to the judge. 

He said that poor Brock seemed down in the dumps after getting caught raping a woman and that he doesn't even want his favourite meal of steak anymore. Should cock Brock be so harshly punished for 20 minutes of poor judgement out of his 20 year life? 

Keep in mind that we only know about Brock's one rape. 

Poor Brock is now on a sex offender's register and that will change how people see him and where he lives or works.     

     

Old Knudsen is crying for Brock as he types this. 

Brock should be allowed onto campus' to educate sluts  students on alcohol consumption and sexual promiscuity in order to give back to society. Yeah and maybe "reformed" pedos should go to schools to warn the kiddies of stranger danger.

Brock's dad could educate other dad's to tell their sons not to rape people. This obviously isn't being addressed enough, did you know it was wrong to rape someone? 

That 20 year-old fucktard did his best to destroy a life in the early hours in January 2015. That lass was violated and degraded during the attack and during the trial. 

People shouldn't get so fucked up that they pass out beside a dumpster but on the other hand others shouldn't see that as an opportunity to rape just because he has a personality of a douchebag and can't form consensual bonds. 

Brock's Da needs a good slappin for enabling his rapist son, maybe his Da has a few rapes under his belt who knows? 

Brock was a 20 year-old that made a mistake .... now he's a criminal, now he's a rapist. Should he have to pay for the rest of his life for this one mistake? Fuck yeah!

That lass will be paying for it. If Brock's 6 month sentence was him hanging by his balls for that whole time until they die and fall off then maybe that would be a bit more fair.    

From now on if you search the Interwebs for 'Brock Turner' you'll be reminded that he's not a decent person but is a rapist, that is who he is, that is what his enabling father raised.