Feel The Bern But Draw The Line

So Bernie like Trump tapped into the belief of something better. Trump goes the way of hate and Bernie the way of hope.
A better future by crushing our enemies or people we could make our enemies .... A better future by being nice and helping people.   

Racial equality, fairer incomes, financial reforms, products made in the US again, women's rights, LGBT rights, healthcare for all, looking after veterans and better education. Bernie is sort of Jewish but not really and used to work as a carpenter so just like Jesus if he had made it to 75 and actually existed. 

He said that Americans could be better and have it all without putting anyone down and he is the sort of person the US needs to lead it. If only the US wasn't a big cesspool of corruption. 

One of the largest economies in the werld should be able to look after its own people right? They have this double bluff victim mentality where they have to go and get success and are losers if they need help. The government has done a real number on them and they are told that they are too special for healthcare and education unless they pay through the nose for it.   

We all know how powerful the Darkside is.

Sanders was amazing but then we noticed he wasn't getting any media coverage, what the fuck? I was seeing Hillary everywhere, I had to go and do a search to even hear what Sanders sounded like.

We all knew there was a plot, it was Hillary's turn to be President. Then yon rapist released the stolen e-mails and it turned out that politicians lied and schemed .... we were shocked. Our votes don't matter, who would have thought it?

Oh that's right Bush versus Gore in 2000, how soon we forget. 

US politics usually has 2 rich people with rich friends trying to out money each other for the White House. Sanders was an unrealistic pipe dream that some actually fell for. They wanted to believe.

When Sanders lost the nomination and endorsed Hillary his loyal followers turned on him like those spiders in the Lost in space movie that eat their wounded.

Sanders suddenly dealt in reality. The Bernie movement wasn't the massive social revolution they had hoped for. You can pack stadiums but without the media on yer side you are nothing. It's the 21st century, word of mouth hasn't worked in decades. This isn't the time of Paul Revere.

The choice was that Sanders could run as an independent .... he'd lose and take lots of Clinton's votes with him and Trump would win. 

He could endorse Clinton and hope his followers vote for her so Trump wouldn't win.

Many Bernie supporters just straight out refuse to vote Clinton. Their protest vote or lack of will give them moral superiority because they aren't backing a rigged system .... enjoy yer Trump years.

Your protest votes will mean that Trump will win and who cares about your moral high ground? Thanks in part to you the cuntry will get worse and the US will go from being hated to flat out ridiculed and hated.

Muslims getting singled out, Mexicans getting singled, losers getting singled out la la la not listening I didn't vote for him my farts smell Caucasian and delicious.

This already happened in the UK with idiots voting Green or Ukip because they were in a sulk with Labour. The Tories won. Then there was the Brexit vote which was basically a vote against foreigners, no matter how you make excuses for it.

 I love how everyone loves veterans all of a sudden.

A Trump vote like Brexit validates the haters. It will mean that it's socially acceptable to say 'go back to your own cuntry' since the majority vote says so.

      I'll make it up to you Bernie with a free tour of the White House. 

It may be Hillary's turn but will everyone suddenly pretending to like her be enough?  Trump weathered the whole paying people to pretend to be supporters thing and every thing else he has said but Hillary has the sexist thing to battle too as women are supposed to be either good in bed or able to bake like yer Ma. 

Bernie supporters need to grow the fuck up and take off those rosy glasses. Evil triumphs when good men do nothing. A moral high ground is as tangible as principles ... otherwise known as sulky stubbornness. It's politics, have you never watched Game of Thrones for fucks sake? 

How will you sulking change it? You couldn't stop Firefly from getting cancelled how can you hope to change one of the most powerful political systems in the world? Hows yon gun control going? ... shooting children is a right ya know.  

The game is rigged because once you think yer close to catching them all they make new ones. There were 151 original Pokemon and now there is like 726 .... it's a fucken money making scheme, accept reality. 

It's like having different coloured lightsabers, yeah green, blue and red for the good and bad guys but then they had to make them purple and with double blades and just shut up and take my money, a director's cut? ... take my money I said! 

Just how many Transformers and Iron man suits are there? 

When you think you have an honest politician you'll find that somewhere, somehow they have compromised themselves. Nobody is perfect and usually not how you expect them to be. Like a much loved actor refusing to sign autographs .... but but I bought all yer movies, I own you.

People superimpose their expectations onto others. Thomas Jefferson 'all men created equal' ... wonderful huh? He raped his slaves and didn't try to abolish slavery because it was too hard. Lincoln, a wonderful leader who would have kept slavery and controlled the press but everyone sees him as a great liberator.

FDR was tough but a hero .... yeah tell that to the loyal American Japanese he put into camps.

People still see Obama as being wonderful ... how far up their hole is their heads? Domestic spying, going after people that download movies or music or whistleblowers harder than actual criminals, funding Al Qaeda affiliates and randomly killing civilians with drones, propping up US friendly governments in Ukraine and Yemen ...  but forget all that, did you see his video on BuzzFeed ?      

Not playing the rigged game has consequences too.

I feel sorry for the Bernie fans that loved him a little too much.  Maybe it's not the best time to tell them about Santa.        

The Panama Papers

We aren't breaking any laws, just helping our clients to. 

Mossack Fonseca, the Panamanian law firm other wise known as that tax haven in Panama is crying victim. Those poor lawyers had some of their records leaked out to the public and the world soon found out how the wealthy are hiding their money in order to avoid paying taxes in their home countries. 

A spokesman for the firm denies it was an inside job because then that would suggest they can't be trusted and says it was a hack .... which means they can be trusted, just not their servers or any data they have. 

Mossack Fonseca are grateful their name is so shite and forgettable as then this scandal will be named after Panama rather than them. 

Botoxed faced Putin has put his state run news channel RT into spin control mode, he wasn't named in the leaks but a few of his wealthy friends have been. Sure those friends no doubt benefited from their friendship with him for example the $800m (£562m) of loans by a Russian state bank given to the offshore company Sunbarn and Sandalwood Continental with no evidence of collateral or repayment, no wonder he laughed at US and EU sanctions. 

Putin's friend concert cellist Sergei Roldugin has made millions from these suspicious offshore deals such as the $6 million he borrowed in 2007 which was written off for $1.  

They seem shaken, maybe they are getting close to Putin's money. He wouldn't have it in his name for fucks sake he's ex-KGB, they know how to hide shit .... and bodies. 

RT have used the term Putinophobia to turn anything remotely negative about Putin into him being victimised like how you can't say that Obama is a crap president without someone calling you a racist ... no seriously, he is crap. His legacy will be being the first black preez and maybe the highest drone body count. 

It is illegal to be openly ghey in Russia which makes Putinophobia even more so ironic, then there is the whole invading Ukraine thing and having yer opposition killed but get off his back he ain't done nuthing wrong it's all Putinophobia .... aye sure the west is out to get him but he ain't an angel.  

David Cameron's ol dead Da was a chairman of Blairmore Holdings a client of Mossack Fonseca. Blairmore was named after the Cameron ancestral estate but had meetings in Switzerland or the Bahamas to avoid having to pay tax to the UK. 

When asked about this David Cameron said it was a "private matter" be sure to put that on yer tax forms next time you fill them out. Not liking this course of conversation Dave whipped out his cock and fucked a pig in parliament while announcing cuts in benefits to the old and disabled .... he'd rather talk about that than his family's money. 

Turns out that he did indeed have shares and like the Icelandic PM he got rid of them before taking up office at number 10. Cameron had called this tax evasion "morally wrong" when some celebs were caught doing it ... ah karma huh.   

Iceland's Prime Minister Sigmundur Gunnlaugsson sold his shares of an offshore investment company to his wife for like a pound dollar pissed on pickled fish and didn't declare it when he entered parliament. He has now resigned cos Iceland really don't like this kind of shit and have jailed bankers in the past. 

   In Iceland crowds of angry white people and it isn't about racism, how refreshing. 

FIFA president Gianni Infantino is involved in the leaks as is Gonzalo Delaveau the head of the anti-corruption watchdog Transparency International in Chile. France, the US and Pakistan are demanding investigations so they've no doubt got shit they want to investigate in order to cover it up. Me cynical? Nah I just know how these fuckers werk. 

In 2011 Bernie Sanders opposed a Bush negotiated trade deal with Panama complaining about tax havens and why the fuck would we sign a trade deal that would make tax evasion in the US an even bigger problem? 

The US loses $100 billion a year in tax evasion and the cunty was in $14 trillion plus national debt then and such a small cuntry like Panama wouldn't create American jobs either so why? WWWWHHHHYYYYY?

He was right and no one listened. Obama and Hillary were both strong supporters of the deal as was Rupert Murdoch who lobbied for the deal. Sanders had no wheels to grease and was fucking spot on. 

I doubt there will be any big US names mentioned but hope there will be. This is the kind of hack (if it was a hack) that the world needs. There are too many rich fuckers getting away with shit because they have the money to travel and the ability to exploit local laws. How do you get to a point in yer life where $200 million or more isn't enough for you?   

Of course it's a socialist idea to expect everyone to fairly pay their taxes so Sanders won't be getting any love for being more right and more honest than Hillary.  

Trump Comes Clean

Iowa State Fair has had all the presidential candidates eating meat on sticks and pretending to be human. Donald Trump was there and so was his Sikorsky S-76B because Trump believes in America and in immigrants, as long as they are white and can make million dollar helicopters like Igor Sikorsky could. 

He offered some gormless kids a ride on it and who wouldn't want their child to fly off in a helicopter with Donald Trump? One 9 year -old boy filmed the experience and asked Donald, "are you Batman?" Donald could have easily lied and said, "no you little fucktard, Ben Affleck is Batman, don't you know anything?" Instead he replied, "I am Batman."

There you have it, Donald Trump is the caped vigilante of Gotham, will authorities pursue this matter or will they forget the millions of dollars of damage he has caused over the years in favor of the good he has done?

I always suspected it since Trump Enterprises holds all the bat related patents and his mask has always looked lumpy as if there is a comb over trying to get loose .... oh and the gruff but nasal voice too. He sure has my vote for 2016, even though Marvel is far better.   

  Many have called Ted Cruz The Joker and the rest of the GOP candidates the Insane Clown Posse.

Jeb Bush was heard piping up, "I'm Iron man" but no one cared so in a huff he blamed the failure of the wars in Iraq and the rise of ISIS on Obama and Hilary before he was reminded that his brother had signed for the withdrawal of troops in 2013 ....  doh!

 

Hilary disappointed Old Knudsen when she chose the pork chop on the stick rather than the corn dogs that previous presidential nopefuls had gone for. The Internet can be so cruel and because of countless memes we had to go without seeing Hilary deep throat a corn dog and licking and swallowing that mustard. 

We'll still have our memories .... comedy gold. 

Somehow Trump still manages to eat the pork chop in a nasty ass manner. He vomited acid over it and sucked up the softened remains.

Bernie Sanders who seems to be the favourite for people who look for honesty and integrity in a candidate though will still probably just vote for Hilary anyways was deemed too old and sweaty and was kept away from the media.