The Panama Papers

We aren't breaking any laws, just helping our clients to. 

Mossack Fonseca, the Panamanian law firm other wise known as that tax haven in Panama is crying victim. Those poor lawyers had some of their records leaked out to the public and the world soon found out how the wealthy are hiding their money in order to avoid paying taxes in their home countries. 

A spokesman for the firm denies it was an inside job because then that would suggest they can't be trusted and says it was a hack .... which means they can be trusted, just not their servers or any data they have. 

Mossack Fonseca are grateful their name is so shite and forgettable as then this scandal will be named after Panama rather than them. 

Botoxed faced Putin has put his state run news channel RT into spin control mode, he wasn't named in the leaks but a few of his wealthy friends have been. Sure those friends no doubt benefited from their friendship with him for example the $800m (£562m) of loans by a Russian state bank given to the offshore company Sunbarn and Sandalwood Continental with no evidence of collateral or repayment, no wonder he laughed at US and EU sanctions. 

Putin's friend concert cellist Sergei Roldugin has made millions from these suspicious offshore deals such as the $6 million he borrowed in 2007 which was written off for $1.  

They seem shaken, maybe they are getting close to Putin's money. He wouldn't have it in his name for fucks sake he's ex-KGB, they know how to hide shit .... and bodies. 

RT have used the term Putinophobia to turn anything remotely negative about Putin into him being victimised like how you can't say that Obama is a crap president without someone calling you a racist ... no seriously, he is crap. His legacy will be being the first black preez and maybe the highest drone body count. 

It is illegal to be openly ghey in Russia which makes Putinophobia even more so ironic, then there is the whole invading Ukraine thing and having yer opposition killed but get off his back he ain't done nuthing wrong it's all Putinophobia .... aye sure the west is out to get him but he ain't an angel.  

David Cameron's ol dead Da was a chairman of Blairmore Holdings a client of Mossack Fonseca. Blairmore was named after the Cameron ancestral estate but had meetings in Switzerland or the Bahamas to avoid having to pay tax to the UK. 

When asked about this David Cameron said it was a "private matter" be sure to put that on yer tax forms next time you fill them out. Not liking this course of conversation Dave whipped out his cock and fucked a pig in parliament while announcing cuts in benefits to the old and disabled .... he'd rather talk about that than his family's money. 

Turns out that he did indeed have shares and like the Icelandic PM he got rid of them before taking up office at number 10. Cameron had called this tax evasion "morally wrong" when some celebs were caught doing it ... ah karma huh.   

Iceland's Prime Minister Sigmundur Gunnlaugsson sold his shares of an offshore investment company to his wife for like a pound dollar pissed on pickled fish and didn't declare it when he entered parliament. He has now resigned cos Iceland really don't like this kind of shit and have jailed bankers in the past. 

   In Iceland crowds of angry white people and it isn't about racism, how refreshing. 

FIFA president Gianni Infantino is involved in the leaks as is Gonzalo Delaveau the head of the anti-corruption watchdog Transparency International in Chile. France, the US and Pakistan are demanding investigations so they've no doubt got shit they want to investigate in order to cover it up. Me cynical? Nah I just know how these fuckers werk. 

In 2011 Bernie Sanders opposed a Bush negotiated trade deal with Panama complaining about tax havens and why the fuck would we sign a trade deal that would make tax evasion in the US an even bigger problem? 

The US loses $100 billion a year in tax evasion and the cunty was in $14 trillion plus national debt then and such a small cuntry like Panama wouldn't create American jobs either so why? WWWWHHHHYYYYY?

He was right and no one listened. Obama and Hillary were both strong supporters of the deal as was Rupert Murdoch who lobbied for the deal. Sanders had no wheels to grease and was fucking spot on. 

I doubt there will be any big US names mentioned but hope there will be. This is the kind of hack (if it was a hack) that the world needs. There are too many rich fuckers getting away with shit because they have the money to travel and the ability to exploit local laws. How do you get to a point in yer life where $200 million or more isn't enough for you?   

Of course it's a socialist idea to expect everyone to fairly pay their taxes so Sanders won't be getting any love for being more right and more honest than Hillary.