Steak Pies And Ale Lies

  Janet Franks and Amanda Critchlow looking stunned .... maybe drunk. 

You hear about people finding things in their food such as a finger or a rodent, well this is the best story ever! These people found alcohol in theirs.

Amanda Critchlow, 56 from Cleethorpes, was tucking into a steak pie at an Asda cafe when her daughter Rebecca thought there was something odd about the meal, said she could taste ale in it.

After confronting the staff they informed them that it was indeed a steak and ale pie which didn't mention ale on the menu.  SHAME ON YOU ASDA!!!!  Asda is owned by WalMart so I'm sure this is a conspiracy of some kind.

Amanda, has been a practising Muslim for the past eight years but she does eat some non-Halal meat .... when it suits her I suppose. She has also had alcohol addiction problems and has endeavored not to consume alcohol for the past 28 years.

"I'm a recovering alcoholic and a practising Muslim – I wouldn't even eat a wine gum. I have been going to that cafe every Thursday for the past few months to have their steak pie. It's a lovely pie and now I know why I like it so much. I couldn't believe it when the staff told me it contained ale."

Not sure what wine is in wine gums but they should come with an alcohol content on the packet. Just so you know how many it takes for a kid to have before they are willing to get into yer Free Hugs van with the blacked out windows.

Amanda says she feels guilty at having broken her religion's laws on alcohol, the rule about the Halal meat is just silly so she isn't worried about that.

Her friend Janet who is 80 suffers from Alzheimer's, her medication specifies that she cannot consume alcohol. She is also prohibited from operating heavy machinery.

Anyone else, No one pregnant? .... ach like Janet cares, she's just happy to be a part of the team.

Amanda said that,  "When my addiction was at its worst I was drinking 15 bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale a day. I collapsed one day and the doctors told me that my liver had had enough. I was given the decision: carry on drinking or die."

The good news is that since she isn't on dialysis her liver has no doubt recovered and what little alcohol content there is in food gets burned off.
She is annoyed that you just don't know what yer eating. Her complaint to Asda went to the catering company then bounced back to Asda who contacted her to apologise and sent her out a gift voucher of £25 and a nice box of chocolate liquors. 

The truth is we don't know what is in our food cos they put fuck all information on the packaging. Janet has been frightened by the whole experienced and has lost trust in eating at the cafe .... it's really easy to scare and panic people with Alzheimer's over nothing so well done.

 

 Don't tell Janet about the Fluoride in the water.

Please do tell Amanda about the alcohol found in oral care and cosmetic products, there is no Heaven or 72 virgins in her future.

In 2012 Lee Handford, 38,was pulled over by police for speeding (he was in a car) and was recorded at being nearly double the legal drink drive limit. "I am truly sorry for what I did. It will affect me for the rest of my life. I will likely lose my job.  I didn’t feel like I had drank excessively. The steak and ale pie may have taken me over the limit."

He was banned from the road for 16 months, and fined him £165 with £85 costs. Inspector Stuart York, from Cheshire police, said a very sobering, " There is never any excuse for being over the drink-drive limit. Not only was he putting himself at risk he was also putting other road users lives at risk."

Fucking kill joy peelers, mind yer own business.

On the other side Bill Withers, 43, is a vegetarian alcoholic and is suing Tesco cafe for not telling him that the steak and ale pie served there had meat in it. Hardly his fault he was too drunk to notice the word steak.
"I love WWII and anything about Hitler so I became a vegetarian just like him, the pie was half eaten before I realised it was meat, as it came from Tesco it didn't taste like meat and yer my best fucking mate ..... no seriously, I love you man."

  Life on the streets can be tough.

Old Knudsen has had life long addiction problems, in fact when Lost was on I had to watch it every week, me wife couldn't take it any more and left me with the kids ... Or was she my gurlfriend? Anyways she left me with the children and what was I to do with them? If only she had taken them with her. 

I sold them on e-Bay and got the Lost boxed set except you can't really watch those shows over and over, they weren't that good and what the fuck was the smoke monster and that shark did have the Dharma logo on it's tail. 

Not my lowest point though, I once used to doon 12 steak and ale pies before breakfast and would take a straw into shops and suck out the innards of liquors when no one was watching, fuck I hate cherry flavour.

 

My then wife, might have been a gurlfriend or my older sister, they all blur after a while tried to help me quit but I wasn't ready to accept her help. I'd hide pies on strings out the windows, in upturned light shades, everywhere. It was after Sainsburys did a buy one get one free on beer battered onion rings that I was ready to stop.

A weekend onion ring bender you can't remember but the dead hooker in the garage linking you to all sorts of things has to be a turning point for anyone. 

Some people may laugh about these people and their pies and wonder how some people can be so dumb but you weren't there. Picking and choosing what offends us is what makes us human as does blaming someone or something else. I personally blame the parents, didn't they know what birth control is?

 

Pork Me Up Bitch!

Marks and Spencers, M&S the British pseudo upmarket grocery chain have allowed it's Islamic checkout clerks to refuse to sell alcohol and pork products at their tills.

Only snotty cunts shop there anyway, seriously it isn't anything special but in the UK we have very low standards.
At a time when Muslims are being singled out for being different, M&S treats them differently ... how is that going to go doon?  What about the customers? ya stand there in the line for 10 minutes only to be told you have to queue at another till.... I'll go to another store. 

In the Koran it says not to accept interest, is someone going to really take the piss and say, "sorry I can't accept credit card payments at this checkout." 

This reminds Old Knudsen of the two Catholic nurses who refused to participate with abortions ... and the soldiers who ran to Canada when 9/11 hit so they wouldn't have to fight.

If you can't do a job because of what yer sky fairies say or if yer just not up to it then get another fucking line of work.

What if Northern Ireland had Protestant and Catholic checkouts? ' Sorry mate but you can't buy those fish fingers at this checkout because it's Friday and those Lucky charms and golf balls ..... are you taking the Mick?'

    

  'Oranges, condoms and glue? fuck away aff to another till.'

Keep yer crazy ass mythology and woo out of yer jobs, it offends me. Tesco have stated that employing people who can't handle certain products doesn't make sense and Sainsburys say that just because people don't eat pork or drink alcohol doesn't mean they can't scan a fucking bottle of beat the wife! .... we aren't asking them to get blootered and have a bacon sarny.
 

Well ok, I was paraphrasing there a little. 

Old Knudsen Is Right Again

Do you read that shit? ... No, but my kids do, they knew about you getting fired before you did, lol. 

For years Old Knudsen has been telling you what a failure you lot are compared to his greatness, here is yet another example for those who think he talks out of his arse.

The story in November was how Obama wanted to explode 3 nukes on American soil but 2 US military generals and 1 Navy admiral stopped him ... oh it's just conspiracy shit or a funny coincidence.    The truth from a previous post  
Old Knudsen said they would lose their jobs quietly so I'm guessing they made waves and wouldn't step doon.
The general in charge of the US Air Force's long-range nuclear missiles, Maj Gen Michael Carey was fired for conduct unbecoming of a gentleman.

 He consumed a lot of alcohol on his trip to Russia and associated with foreign women.

Considering what the NSA have been doing it's a no brainer that Obama will be keeping tabs on his high ranking personnel and detailing anything of importance .... or just making shit up that will stick. 

Old Knudsen himself was almost drummed out of the service because of his love for disco music, you may recall Bee Geegate.... all lies.

Help me get this flag pole up so you can dance around it for me.

Need more evidence? ... US Navy Vice-Admiral Tim Giardina was removed as deputy head of US Strategic Command just before Carey was. He was fired for using counterfeit gambling chips at an Iowa casino..... if you can believe that.

The third General? will he see what they are doing to those two and retire quietly? Will his reputation have to be destroyed too? Or will he pass away in his sleep?

You can choose to believe Old Knudsen or not, he didn't spend centuries in military service and in the intelligence field to talk you civvies into things. It's no his fault you don't have the brain capacity and ability to make those leaps and connections.



   

Alcoholism Is Not An Illness

 

In the Belfast Telegraph newspaper it said, £264,879 in disability benefits is handed over to alcoholics who can't work in Northern Ireland every week. 

Now this is the paper that has referred to Benjamin Franklin as being a president of the US ... several times! so don't go thinking you'll get facts there. It's like a blog but on paper and unlike this you pay for it ..... you cheap cunts, give me money!

Now before you go on about, 'oh they can't help it, it's an illness' you think about how you feel about fat folks. 

 

Why is there such a stigma over fat people but drunks get a free pass cos it's an illness?

 

Like I said.... stigma. No one is saying, "don't slag off the fat person it's an illness." 

A gurl's picture was up on a forum , she was pretty with ample cleavage but because she was fat .... er sorry over weight she got comments like, 'I want to stab her in the neck with a knife' just because she was big boned..... aye her blood type is Bisto.   

There is this TV and radio presenter here called Stephen Nolan, hes one of those argumentative types who gets people riled up to get the viewers. Old Knudsen doesn't watch or listen to him as Old Knudsen does not like conflict.... ok thats a lie, Old Knudsen gets angry when confronted with stupid people and Nolan gives stupid people a platform to speak. 

Many don't like Nolan and if they complain about him the word fat is often used. Unlike drunks of course who get the called hell raiser . No wonder Nolan lives in Southern Callyfornia for a few months every year, they are less judgmental there and more grown up in every day life .... don't get me started on the media there though.


Now heres the part where Old Knudsen tells you what at you really should be thinking. 

There are many reasons for drinking, most of them boil doon to unhappiness of some kind.  You hate yer life, you hate some life events or you hate yerself.  When it is seen as normal to go out and get blootered every weekend then that doesn't help.... it's what you do, it's the way things are done, and other cliched excuses.

 

Old Knudsen loves exercise, he could watch it for hours. 

At the new year it was in the newspaper about a poll done in a Callyfornia fitness center for new years resolutions and the paper noted that 'not cutting doon on alcohol' was never mentioned.

Typical Northern Ireland reporting, they haven't been anywhere so they can only go by what they do.

In Callyfornia and a lot of the rest of the US drinking is not a big problem. They enjoy the odd drink but don't drink to get drunk ..... WTF?  it's seen as unacceptable to be shitfaced and out of control. Most alcoholics drink all the time and can still hold doon a job no problem, no one gives them money to sit about drinking. 
Drinking is a choice not an illness and when you stop giving a drunk money for drink guess what? yeah they stop drinking .... or being ill if you want. 

The depression that led to the drinking is an illness but Northern Ireland has a stigma about mental health too and the government health care is pathetic and unwilling to do anything for mental health care but pay it lip service.   

When a person can't work they are sent to a government contractor called Atos to be assessed. Their job is to cut doon the amount of people getting disability and they do their job well. By following the US model, if you can raise your hand to yer head or dress yerself then you can obviously do some form of job no matter if yer blind, terminally ill and unable to walk. Of course that doesn't mean there are jobs out there.

When an alcoholic goes into the Atos office do you think he goes in sober? of course not. He probably goes in talking shit and being abusive .... obviously hes ill then cos normal people don't get on like that.   

So to sum it up, being an alcoholic is as much an illness as being obese but you don't hear about 'beer tax' or how drinkers cost so much in healthcare resources. It's a double standard, they are both choices.... Smoking is another one.
No one goes out and buys the drink and pours if doon yer neck for you ..... you do that.  The addiction of habit can be tough to break but you have to really want to help yerself otherwise yer fucked.

The illness behind  excessive eating or drinking needs to stop being ignored, if you don't fix the roof gutter the mold doon the wall is only going to get worse. 

All that being said, it's Friday, and it's International weemen's day, time to get some liquor doon me neck and go out to pick up some lucky bitches..... Old Knudsen is irresistible to weemen when hes drunk. Big or small Old Knudsen shags them all. Lock up yer wives, daughters, sons and pets cos Old Knudsen has the horn! 



    

The Hairy Mind Of Old Knudsen

This tramp doesn't know it yet but he is the future.

I hid during the St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre. I cried at Sand Creek and again at Wounded Knee. I was disgusted at the Japs when they took NanJing and shook my head at how unprofessional the Yanks were at My Lai . I lead a team of crack mercenaries to Zimbabwe to destroy Mugabe's evil Fifth Brigade - a North Korea-trained unit responsible for the slaughter of thousands and if it wasn't for a lack of funds and a dentist appointment we would have succeeded. I weep in a manly warrior way for innocent dead people. Animals however who God did not see fit to give souls to can go fuck.

I was out jogging doon by the canal listening to Outcast on my MP5 player when I passed by the old animal testing plant. It only last year that I had a thriving business supplying dogs, cats, rabbits and the odd monkey to them for a fair price. I feel that being a hard working God fearing man brings me closer to the Almighty himself and reminds me of the time I worked in Edinburgh, providing cadavers to doctors for experimenting on, ah those where the days.

By pouring soap into Rabbit's eyes they have found a way to make dogs intelligent enough to tidy up parks, in fact this doggie is sooo smart he can shag yer leg in 3 languages.

Well some bitch on the local council complained when her dogs went missing and then some investigative reporter found it was happening all over Killamory so the research plant stopped buying them, it really pisses me off, you test kids at school so why not test animals? you know it makes sense.

Jogging past the plant I soon came to the bridge where tramps and winos like to hang out and sleep, those fuckers don't ask me for 20p when they see me they hide their alcohol then it came to me.

Olive oil is made from olives, Baby oil is made from babies so if I get a load of alcohol pickled winos and crush them to extract their juices I can get a new form of fuel to run cars on. I'll be rich. now what shall I call it? I know Trampoline© .