What Use Are The PSNI?

I told you it would end in tears. 

Back in the hazy days pre 1998 Northern Ireland had a police service like the US does today. It was called the  Royal Ulster Constabulary or RUC. That was back when you could still smoke in pubs and restaurants and before camera phones were a thing. 

We didn't have very many black people (still don't) so we filled that void by using Catholics in their place. The RUC was mostly Protestant and was a fair and just organization ... if you were Protestant. 

He looks a bit taigy, better throw him in the back.

Those movies where the army come in and take control .... that was our every day life as the army patrolled with a few RUC officers. The RUC had respect because they were feared. They'd cuff you around the head and send you on yer way if they couldn't be arsed bringing you in. 

They didn't shoot unarmed Catholics for kicks though would really fuck them up with their batons. Like peaceful protests in the US and the police go in and kick the fuck out of them because rights and the constitution means shit when dealing with hippies. 

These wee MP5's are heavy and scare me when they go bang.

The RUC was disbanded and affirmative action tried to hire Catholics for a 50/50 police service imaginatively called the Police Service of Northern Ireland or PSNI. No more baton charges and while the RUC could clear a room by just walking in the PSNI usually get a harsh mocking and told to fuck off. 

While the RUC were biased and often worked with Loyalist Paramilitaries you knew that when you called them they would turn up and sort things out.  

After 1998 we were supposed to have things changed, not just the police. The murals would be removed and we'd move forward in a shared future of equality. 

Of course those in power are biased towards their own side and people and now the police are too afraid to do anything in case it damages the peace we are supposed to have. 2015 the UK had the most terrorist attacks of all of Europe. Not ISIS or Al Qaeda but our own white bigoted Northern Ireland homegrown Christian terrorists.    

The PSNI behave more like security guards than police officers. They patrol and report back. We still have murals and flags promoting terrorist organizations up on lamp posts. The PSNI say it's not their job to remove them. 

Recently a banner of Billy Wright was put up on a lamp post. He was a scum UVF leader (a loyalist terrorist/criminal gang) who was killed while in prison in retaliation for a Catholic terrorist that was killed. The banner of a bloke connected to the murders of 20 people sits up there while the public are disgusted. 

If members of the public went around taking down banners and flags they would 1) get arrested 2) have their house petrol bombed while they slept or 3) get a punishment beating. 

We will now issue these Nerf guns so no one gets hurt.

   

The senior PSNI response to the banner is, 'well it might offend some while others it might not' ... not exactly the reaction you'd expect from the police. 

That Swastika, burning cross and pig's head on the mosque steps might offend some people but to the rest it might be ok. Best leave it for fear of offending someone.

Some people look for things to be offended by.

The PSNI don't seem to like confrontation and during a riot will stand there and take a beating while their colleagues film the crimes. The next day they'll publish a report of how many officers were hurt and how much the policing cost. 

If they recognize any of the criminals from the video footage they may arrest them a month away when they least expect it .... huh?   

Maybe it's just on the TV that police stop crimes from being committed instead of watching them.  

Recently a mother of 3 was killed while walking her dog. A 17 year-old on a dirt bike hit her. The guy was charged with it as he didn't have a license, insurance and was riding it in a forest park in West Belfast for fucks sake. 

If you live on a housing estate you'll see teenagers riding scramblers without helmets either on the road or on grass bits nears houses to just fuck it up with tire tracks. If you call the PSNI you'll probably get the usual level of apathy. 

You can almost sense the shrugs and eye rolls, "we'll send a couple of officers out" .... um but I haven't told you where it is and you haven't asked me what they look like.

Makes you appreciate the teens out looking for Pokemon and not causing trouble.  

If the PSNI do dare to venture into a housing estate they usually like to wait about 3 - 4 hours after the call and quietly under the cover of darkness. So not much use really. 

If you call them about terrorist or criminal activities then expect a couple of police at yer door. Bring them in quickly or they'll start pointing and saying 'is that him there' .... uh yeah I was trying to be discrete about it but thanks. 

Everyone sees everything here and double that if the police are involved cos people here are nosy fuckers. Also PSNI are a rare as legendary Pokemon.

 Stop it or there may be consequences! .... I'm being serious now. 

On the PSNI social media accounts they angrily denounced the teens with a stern warning. the teens decided to ride their scramblers around West Belfast .... show some respect, a woman has just died ffs. Yeah you should wait at least 4 weeks before breaking the law, young people today have no manners.      

I can imagine angry PSNI officers shaking their fists at the young scally wags as they speed by them. Blast you and your bad parents that buy you dirt bikes!!!!! .... hope I didn't come off as sounding too angry there.

The PSNI keep mentioning budget cuts and how they won't be able to do their job .... will we notice? I say we disband our police again but hire them back for less. We sell their guns and tasers on e-Bay or something and just stick to the honour system for crime. 

What fucking use is it having a police service when they are fucken useless pussies? Riots, go crack some skulls, not yer own. Flags, take them down because the criminals that put them up and that build a 30 foot tall fires where ever they please are laughing at you. 

I've had police experience.

Old Knudsen wants a badge and and gun. Give him 20 good men and 72 hours .... or is it 72 men and 20 hours? Yeah some can be weemen if ya want. I know I want.

I won't make friends and the criminals won't like me but at least it wouldn't be them running the streets.